Monday, April 30, 2007


WARNING: I am about to ruin a store for you.

You may or may not have heard of the department store chain Menards (pronounced meh-NARDS), but it's pretty prevalent here in Indiana. There are commercials for it on TV all the time ("Menards!", "Save at Menards!!", "Check out Menards!").

Maybe I'm immature, but every time I hear the commercial and they scream "Menards!" I think a British guy just got kicked between the legs.

And now you will, too. You're welcome.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

My Pennsylvania Top 10

As the time to move on to my next adventure gets closer, I've had quite a few friends ask me if I'm excited to make the return out East. In a word: Yes!! The hardest part is actually waiting to make the move in mid-June. But that's given me time to plan and plot, and as a result I present you with the

10. Go to IKEA
9. Find a coffee shop to write in (you have a lot to live up to, Pennsylvania Coffee Shops. I've become quite fond of my Brewdaily's Cafe, and have written four short films, a short story, and a lot of stand-up there).
8. Speaking of stand-up, find someplace to do that
7. Re-acquaint myself with the train to NYC
6. Have get-togethers of the movie-watching/karaoke/game playing/hanging out kind
5. Film that movie I wrote about a radio station 5 years ago
4. Find the Amish quaint and adorable until I am stuck behind a buggy while I am running late and then remember how much they slow me down
3. Finally get to hang out with people at JTL who weren't there when I was there last, but seem really cool online and in email
2. Hug Fred, Lisa, Stacey, John, Phil, Ann, Strayer, Mindy, Darlene, Trish, Linford, Mel, Tom, Ethan, Aubrey, the Ruoffs, the Grosses, and whoever else I may have forgotten or gets in my way.
1. Smile a lot

*My PA-area friends are more than welcome to join me on any/all of these adventures.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Cast List

Without giving too much away, I'd like to announce a confirmed cast of characters who will be appearing in one of four upcoming short films written and directed by Yours Truly. This of course is not a final cast list and I'm not saying who is appearing in what. I will say that they have been confirmed to appear in one of the following shorts: "The Failures of Ed," "The Heist," "The Coffee Shop," and/or "The Poker Game."

I'll keep you posted. I know I've been going on and on about these projects for some time with very little to show for it, so I'm hoping these random info tidbits will give you a bit of the fix you're jonesin' for.

Current projects cast roster (in alphabetical order)
David Beaman
Sarah Beaman
Alex Blowers
John Blowers
Lisa Blowers
Bob Boxell
Amy Hartman
Ben James
Mindy Lapp
Arni Placencia
Ed Placencia
Ray Placencia
Todd Sattison
Matt Stine

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Gettin' Yelled At

Wow. Today I got yelled at. And I mean yelled at. I got yelled at like a man yells at a kid who broke his window with a baseball. I got yelled at by a bald fat white guy with a really hairy back wearing no shirt and a prancing around in a skimpy pair of black shorts. And man, did he yell at me.

Dad and I were painting a house today in a pretty nice neighborhood. We were painting the ceiling in the garage, so we moved the lawn mower and other assorted items out onto the driveway to keep them spatter-free. We went on to paint and at about 2 in the afternoon I went outside to put some stuff in the trash. I was approached by the aforementioned bald shirtless fat white guy with a hairy back and this was our conversation:

NO SHIRT: (already enraged) Hey!

ME: Yea?

NO SHIRT: Did you just mow the lawn?

ME: (confused) No.

NO SHIRT: (pointing to the lawn mower in the driveway) Well, that's out!

ME: Yea. I'm just the painter.

NO SHIRT: (screaming, face turning red) Well whoever mowed the lawn mowed on my property!!! And I am pissed off!! I have professionals in to mow my lawn and if you can't mow on your own property then I'm going to put a flag in the yard and paint a line down the property line!!! I am pissed off!!!

ME: I'm just the painter. I don't know anything about who mows their lawn.

NO SHIRT: Well then you tell them!! They're mowing on my property!!! This is my property!! You have--

And I couldn't help it. I laughed at the man. I didn't just snicker or suppress a giggle. I laughed at him. I laughed right in his face. I didn't do it on purpose. It's just that I was getting yelled at by a fat bald white guy wearing only tiny black shorts and doggonit, that's freakin' funny.

And he wasn't lying, he was pissed. I don't think my laughing at him helped. He stopped talking and just stared at me and I smiled and put my iPod ear buds back in my ears and turned and walked away.

About five minutes later he was out mowing his lawn (and I thought professionals mowed his lawn. Oh well). Every time I would come back out he would glare at me and I would smile because there was an almost-naked fat guy who looked like an Easter egg with a hairy back mowing the lawn.

Can't wait to see him tomorrow.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

THE FAILURES OF ED - Production Update

I mentioned a while ago my new project I am working on, a short film entitled The Failures of Ed. It's the first project under my brand new production company and I'll keep you posted as to when it is finished and available for public viewing. Until then I wanted to keep those of you who are interested in the loop and let you know how it is coming along.

* I filmed a scene today with a good friend of mine I grew up with, Amy (Reynolds) Hartman. The scene was shot in downtown Auburn and I chose Amy for the scene because I knew she wouldn't be embarrassed if I made a fool of myself in public in front of her. And I did. We especially enjoyed the looks of people driving by who slowed down to see if I was OK.

* A first for me, this film will feature original music. The theme song was written and performed by singer/songwriter/funny guy Fred McNaughton. He perfectly captured the essence of the film and it's just catchy enough to stick with you for the rest of the week after hearing it.

On a side note, I am also working on a new series of short films titled The Guys. Each one will be about 5-7 minutes long and will feature a different set of guys in each episode in various situations. Casting for all three films is almost complete and I am excited to begin shooting on them as well.

And there you go. Just because I haven't put up a bunch of new films lately (I don't really count the wedding video I did for a friend since it was more of an outsourced job) it doesn't mean the wheels haven't been spinning.

I look forward to revealing the new project soon!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

The Power of Forgiveness

What do you think is more important, forgiving someone else or being forgiven yourself? Which one feels better to you, is more comforting? I'm asking this not because I think there's a wrong or right answer; everyone's response is probably a little different. In the past month or so I've been given the chance to be on both ends, and I still haven't decided for myself.

A few years ago I was wronged by someone and never spoke up about it. I lost contact with them and never got the chance to reconnect. I did the stalker thing and tried to Google them and find them on Myspace a few times, with no luck. I never harbored any resentment against them but always kind of wished our friendship hadn't fallen out. A couple of weeks ago he found me here on Myspace. He sent me a message saying the only reason he signed up for an account was so he could contact me and ask for my forgiveness.

It was weird, to tell you the truth. Not because I didn't want to forgive him, or felt I couldn't, but because he was just so upfront and honest about it. That's a pretty rare thing anymore and I know it takes a lot of guts to admit your mistakes. It does for me.

I wrote him back to let him know everything is in the past and I still love him. I haven't heard from him since but it was nice to get some (Oprah-word warning) closure on it all. I don't know if I'll ever hear from him again but it was really good to get his message and know that everything is cool between us.

Perhaps it was his message that prompted to me ask for some forgiveness of my own. I'm not always perfect and don't always treat people the way they deserve (despite what my publicist would have you believe) and I treated one of my friends pretty badly. I'd find myself thinking about it and regret the way I acted. A little over a week ago a did a little message-writing of my own.

I didn't know if she would forgive me or, for that fact, even read the message before deleting it. I didn't know what level, if any, we would be able to restore our friendship to or if she would even want to try. That wasn't why I was doing it. I was doing it because I felt it was important I told her I was wrong and ask her to forgive me. She would have every reason to say no and I wouldn't blame her, but I felt it necessary to let her know.

And she did. She forgave me. We've been chatting a bit again and it's been really nice to be able to have that friendship there. It isn't at the same level it was before, it might never be, but it's good to be able to drop her an IM and say hey. It's very humbling to confess your mistakes, especially to the very person you've hurt, but it's always worth it. Sometimes those relationships can be restored and sometimes they can't. But you never know until you try.

So what do I think feels better: forgiving or forgiveness? I don't know. Based on these two interactions, probably forgiveness. They're both important, but when you ask for forgiveness, you're giving up any and all control. It's not up to you. It's up to them. There's nothing you can do about it and I think there's something really special about that vulnerability. It's not always the most comfortable position to be in, but without it I don't think the whole forgiveness thing is complete.

As Dennis Miller says, of course that's just my opinion. I could be mistaken.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

A Fair Representation

There are a bunch of little annoying cartoon ads on MySpace: Escape the monkey. Girl vs Sumo Wrestler. Push a safe and smash the other guy. All of them works of pure genius, I'm sure.

The one that was just on my home page was a cartoon entitled "ARE YOU A HEARTBREAKER?" In it, a goofy cartoon guy in a black leather jacket and greasy dark hair is holding a bouquet of flowers. A sexy girl walks up, unprovoked, and kicks him in the shin. If you put your mouse over the cartoon, she then grabs the bouquet out of his hands and smashes him over the head with it, sending his head spinning like Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

Yeah. I guess that's about how it goes.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Things I Learned in Indiana

As my time in the Hoosier state begins to draw to a close, it's time for me to look back on this last year or so and reflect on what I've learned. This is a ritual I often do when I move from one city to another. It's good to reflect and figure out what, if anything, you've learned in a certain era of your life. If we don't learn anything we often repeat our mistakes and God knows I sure don't want that.

So here are a few things that come to mind when I think of


1. Small towns aren't necessarily bad; I'm just not a small-town guy.

2. If you show interest in a girl and your friends warn you that she is ka-razy, they're not just speaking figuratively. Trust me.

3. If you don't stand up for yourself, no one will.

4. You can inherit a lot of things from your parents, both good and bad, but you can also choose what traits and/or habits you do and don't want to carry on in your own life.

5. When you're away from home for 15 years you don't realize when you go back people will be 15 years older than they were when you last left. Sometimes that's a lot, sometimes it's not, depending on the person. Sometimes you're impressed to see how much someone has grown, and sometimes when someone is "all grown up" it's a little depressing if they've grown too much to have fun.

6. If you offer yourself to someone and they don't take you at face value, there's nothing you can do about it. It's on them.

7. I would rather be hurt than hurt someone else.

8. Blood is thicker than water, but friends can sometimes be thicker than blood.

9. Gas prices are way too high.

10. If there's a local coffee shop in your town, swing by there instead of Starbucks. For real.

11. You can find humor in anything. Anything. You really have to look for it sometimes, but it's there.

12. If you're good at something, find a way to do it.

13. If you've wronged someone, talk to them about it. Admit your shortcomings and ask for forgiveness. It's so much better than staying up at night thinking about it.

14. If you're going through a desert, keep walking. The oasis you finally reach will be more than worth it.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Ironic Clothing

Tonight I went to the Goodwill store to browse for new shirts. Have I mentioned this before? I love the Goodwill!!!!

Anyhow, I found a few nifty shirts and one that, as soon as I saw it, I had to have. Especially for just a couple of bucks. I don't know why. Maybe I'll never wear it but I kind of want to just because. Because...well...see for yourself....

Did you catch it? Can you see the awesomeness from this picture? Maybe not. Let's have a closer look at the sleeve.

That's right, jealous people. I now own a Burger King employee shirt!!!!!

Hey Ed, what's for dinner???

I'm glad you asked.

Tonight I enjoyed some Polish sausages. But not just Polish sausages. I fried them in olive oil along with green peppers, onions, and portobello mushroom caps. After a few minutes in went the garlic, red pepper flakes, and balsamic vinegar and OH MY GOODNESS.

I'm so glad I bought enough ingredients to cook it again tomorrow night. know where I'll be. See you at 8.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

The Upside of Anger

I'm so angry right now. I won't even go into it, let's just skip all of the babble and get right to the part where I'm angry. Despite how furious I am, though, I'm not distracted enough to miss the silver lining. I drove over to Dad's place because I knew I could go to him and talk about it and he would be honest enough with me to tell me if I was out of line. I know a lot of people don't have that kind of relationship with anyone, let alone one with their father.

I'm the kind of guy who wants friends to not only share in the good times, but also keep me accountable if I'm not thinking straight. I want them to be honest with me when I ask them, "Is it wrong for me to feel this way? Do I need to put the spotlight on myself here?"

Tonight I realized just how blessed I am to know that I have that kind of friendship with Dad.

Even though I'm still fuming, it's a comforting kind of fume.

Mixed Emotions (with smells)

Yesterday my doorbell rang. I live in an upstairs apartment and looked out my window to see who it was below. There was some scraggly-looking guy with an old bicycle standing out on my porch. I had no idea who he was, I didn't have any money to lend him, I didn't have a phone he could use, and I didn't want to be stabbed, so I didn't answer.

The doorbell rang again. And again. And again. Then the pounding on the front door began. Pound, pound, pound. Ringringringringring. Poundpoundpoundpoundpound. This guy was relentless and finally I was just angry and eager to tell this guy to leave me alone. I was hoping I'd get to fight. I'm not the strongest guy in the world but I can definitely beat up an old hobo.

I ran down and answered the door, interrupting him mid-pound.

"Is your name Ed?"

"Yea," I answered, and immediately I could smell...I don't know...him.

"Is your name Eddie?"


"I found this," and he hands me my old driver's license, Kroger club card, an expired debit card from a closed account, and a membership card to a video store that has since closed. I had left my money clip in my car overnight last summer and the next morning it was gone. Or at least I thought I had. Knowing me, I was never sure if I just misplaced it. Turns out someone did indeed snatch it from out of my center console where I left it.

"Oh, thanks," I said, trying to sound grateful, but I don't think it was convincing. I noticed the money clip itself and the $10 that was clipped to it were gone.

"I didn't find a wallet," he said.

"Yeah, they were just in a money clip."

"I didn't find a money clip. I found them in my yard."

And that explained the weird smell. I live on a pretty nice block, as evidenced by the picture below. Nothing fancy, but a cute little street. But, like in The 'Burbs, there's one house that doesn't fit in. This particular house is right next door and is actually a little rundown camper. I always wondered what kind of person lived in that camper and now I knew. The stereotype I had in my mind was dead on.

Apparently someone took my money clip, grabbed the cash and clip itself, and then threw the rest over the fence into this guy's yard.

A couple of hours after my stuff was returned to me I noticed my apartment reeked. You guessed it. I don't know how long this guy had my useless cards in his place, but it was long enough for them to absorb the smell of his house (camper) and pass it on to other innocent households. My belongings didn't have the smell of sitting outside in the weather; this smell was 100% man-made.

I threw everything away and lit some incense. I guess I should be more grateful to the guy but the whole thing left me with more questions than before. When he asked if I was Ed I told him yes, and then he asked if I was Eddie and I said yes again. But nothing on any of my cards says "Eddie." Why would he ask if I was Eddie? And just how long did he have my stuff? What was he doing with it?

It seems all very suspicious to me. I'm glad I'm moving soon.