Dinner with the Pagans

A couple of days ago I was bored and decided to swing by one of my favortie places to eat, Euro Diner. It's not terribly expensive and the French toast [what I usually eat] is really tasty. Another thing I like about this diner is the fact that it's not incredibly packed with tourists all the time.

Most of the time I stop in to eat later at night but on this occasion it was mid to late afternoon. When I got there, they were mopping in the front section so I sat in the back. It was just me and a small group of people at another table behind me.

I pulled out a small puzzle book I sometimes have with me to busy myself while I waited on my food and soon I began to hear snippets of conversation coming from the other table that caught my ear. Actually it was more of a word that caught my ear. I kept hearing the word coven being thrown around and it didn't take long to piece together that this group of patrons was the coven they kept referring to.

Does that make them witches? I don't know. They referred to themselves as pagans a couple of times, but I don't know how much difference there is between the two. Is a group of pagans also referred to as a coven? Anyhow, witches or pagans, they were a coven.

The point of their small gathering was to decide whether or not they should let a girl who had been showing interest in their coven join their group. Or the club. Because the way they were talking and the things they were saying, it sounded like a bunch of 8-year-old boys trying to decide whether or not this person would ruin their cool club or not.

The leader of the coven was a female who was straight out of Mean Girls. Someone would say, "I don't know, she's kind of mean sometimes" and the leader would say, "I know, she's totally mean and can bring such a bad vibe with her."

Then someone else would say, "I thought she was sweet" and the leader would say "I know, she's really sweet; such a cute thing and so nice." It made me laugh and I started writing down things they were saying.

One of the reasons the leader wasn't excited about inducting this new girl into the club was because "she wants to change her name to Morgana. I mean, that's a cool name, I named my snake Morgana, but it's so done. Kind of like Raven."

And then one of the guys agreed. "I know. "Raven" has become the "Smith" of the pagan world."

I may have laughed out loud at that one. Another "pro" reason to let this girl join the coven was because she had a good singing voice and someone said "she would make a great siren."

People actually talk this? And are serious?

I listened to them talk for a while and soon they got up to leave. The leader was just as I had pictured her. She was a small waif-like woman with long red hair. Her shirt was a red long-sleeved number that was made of a velvety material that looked like she was wearing a slab of fuzzy wallpaper from the 70s. There was also the pudgy plain girl with stringy hair and the goth girl with jet-black hair and multiple piercings.

The guys rounded out the stereotype and looked like they had just come up from their mom's basement after a huge D&D all-nighter. Late 30s/early 40s computer geeks and I swear I could hear the spare 12-sided dice rattling in their pockets. As they left, they were talking about their friend Venus. It was just amazing to me that these people probably hadn't changed a bit since they were teenagers. They still talked about their awesome powers and their pagan names like Garmongus and the yielder of the broadsword.

Perhaps homeland security should shift their focus for a bit. There are some strange happenings afoot.

102 Floors Up, Broadway, NCT, and Accomplice

Wow, I guess it’s been a while since I’ve written last. Sorry about that. I try to do my best to keep you up-to-date with my happenings and I’ve let you down. Please accept my apology.

So what have I been up to? This and that, as usual. I did my first “touristy” thing in New York the other day and took a trip to the top of the Empire State Building. Not too shabby. It was $14 and a fairly reasonably priced expedition at that. I was by myself which I didn’t mind. When I got in line to go up it was still daylight, but an hour and a half later it was night and the lights were beautiful.

As I was waiting in line I became fairly certain I was the only American in line. Loud French people in front of me and pushy Germans behind. The entire waiting queue was loud and buzzing with a dozen different languages. When we finally got into the elevator at the top, the buzzing became even louder. But as I went through the door that led outside to the viewing terrace the volume dropped. The view was literally breathtaking.

I stood up there for about a half hour or more. It was really really nice. I took a couple of snapshots and then my camera battery ran out so, even though there were people all around taking in the view, it felt like it was just me, the city, and my thoughts. One of the few times I’d been around so many people in public and yet felt such peace. I’ll probably go back soon. For 14 bucks, it’s really not a bad way to spend an evening.

I also got a chance to see my first Broadway show ever. It’s a brand new play called Absurd Person Singular. It was very funny. The show hasn’t officially opened; tonight was a preview night, so let me be among the first to give kudos. The cast was top-notch and hey, it starred Alan Ruck who played Cameron in Ferris Bueller so how could it go wrong?

I had a chance to spend some great quality time with the gang from NCT as well this past weekend. Friday night after the shows I hung out with Amy, Constance, Mike, and Paulie at a fun little karaoke club in the Upper East Side. Saturday night I got a chance to meet Victoria’s parents [who seemed to be fine upstanding citizens] and then hung out with Tyler, Mike, Paul, and Sylvia after the show. Tyler took us to a really cool bar called Jimmie’s Corner. It’s owned by an old boxer so needless to say I felt right at home. I was wishing Dad was there with us; he would have loved it!

Sunday was my last time performing with Accomplice NY for a while. It’s going to be going into hibernation for the winter and will return in March. And I guess that’s a good thing, because I think sitting out in the cold all day yesterday gave me a cold. I’m battling a most wretched sore throat and I’d like to be back to 100% [or as close as I can get to it] for improv rehearsal tomorrow night. For the past few weeks, all of us new guys and some folks who are part of NCT’s Minor League have been rehearsing on Wednesdays. The actual improvisers who perform each week rehearse on Tuesdays, and I have been asked to begin rehearsing with them and I am stoked like you wouldn’t believe!

I also visited the Euro Diner a few days ago which I guess has become my unofficial nothing-else-to-do hangout (besides the library). It was empty except for me and a table full of either pagans or witches. I’m not sure which they were but the spoke of their coven. Do pagans have covens, or is that just witches? Anyhow it’s a great story, but I’ll save it for another time. I am getting tired and I don’t think I would do it justice. It’s a pretty funny story.

Oh yea, and I turned 35 on Thursday. How weird is that?

The Weirdest Audition Ever

I just got back from auditioning for Disney World. Today was their actor call and they were specifically looking for improvisers so I thought I might do OK. When I got there, the monitor told us to not bother with bringing sheet music in the audition room (if we had it) because they didn't have a piano player and didn't want to hear any singing. Just go in and do your monologue.

So I went in and did it. And there was much laughter in all the right parts. Then they asked me to improvise a character and I did the homeless guy I play as part of Accomplice NY. And again there was much laughter.

Then one of the guys asked me if I sang. I was confident when I said "I sure do." Not confident because I can sing, but confident in saying I sure do because I knew they wouldn't ask me to sing. I can sing a little bit, but there's a reason I do improv and not musical theater.

Where was I? Oh yea, can I sing, and I said I sure do. So the guy responds with "Well, you're very funny, your improv is great, you used "Yes and...," you listen well, and you're funny off the cuff. But you're going to have to work on your singing because they do a lot of shows there with 8-bar songs and you know, it's Florida, so they're all really good."

Huh? But wait, you didn't even hear me sing! And when you asked me if I sang, I said I sure do!!

And since when is Florida the improv singing capital of the world? I've seen your improv shows at Pleasure Island, bub, and they weren't all that.

Kind of like on American Idol (wow, it kind of calls back my post from yesterday, huh?) if they want to see more of you they gave you a yellow piece of paper and I did not get one. So yeah, it was weird.

But I'm not really too disappointed. I didn't want to have to leave New York City to work because if you're out of town working, no one in town sees your stuff. And I am glad I'll be able to stick with the NCT for now.

Until, you know, they find out how well I actually sing.

My First Celebrity and Disappointment

One of the things that excited me about living in Manhattan was the fact I knew I would eventually run into a celebrity on the street. Who would it be? Where would it be? When would it be? I have heard rumors of SNL actors frequenting my grocery store, but alas, nothing. I have also heard that Steve Buscemi still rides the subway with his son. Nada. So who would be my first New York celebrity sighting???

Today I found out.

As I left for work this afternoon, it was a dark, rainy day. Everyone had their umbrellas and, like myself, those who didn't had the hood on their jacket pulled up to protect them. It wasn't a real rain, more of a heavy mist. You may not know this about me, but I have adapted very well at becoming a New Yorker in that I walk fast. I zig and zag down the sidewalk with the best of them, and just before I entered the subway station on 42nd street I hit a crowd of people and someone in front of me walking too darn slow. They were short and round and all bundled up and I thought nothing of them except for the fact that they were walking too slow.

Just then this guy who was hanging around outside the Hilton Theater ran up to her and shouted, "Frenchie!!!! Are you Frenchie??!!"

Frenchie, to refresh your memory, was the blond-haired black girl who got kicked off American Idol and went on to appear on Broadway in Rent.

And all I could think was, Frenchie is my first celebrity????!! What a freakin' ripoff!!! Booooooooooo!!!

I want a do-over.

In Case You Were Wondering....

Just to keep you posted (as I promised I would), I haven't heard anything back from The Jekyll & Hyde Club so I guess I didn't get it.

Bollocks!

Is it 2:00 already??

Last night I once again went out to watch the shows at the NCT. Afterward we hung out and, again, it was a great time. Talking, laughing, and general goofing around and I looked at my watch and suddenly it was 2 am. And I wasn't even drinking!

Nothing like having so much fun you lose total track of time. A good bunch of people they are. Improvise well, they do. *

I'm thinking about heading back tonight. One can never have too much laughter.



*This is a direct quote from Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back.

Happiness is Doing Improv

Had another great evening of rehearsal at the NCT. Can I just tell you how much fun I'm having doing improv once again? I know how few people actually get a chance to do what they love to do the most (or even find out what that thing is) so I'm very aware of how fortunate I am. I find myself anticipating Wednesdays more and more each week. Last night I was discussing with Luke, a fellow improv-er who auditioned when I did and is always cracking me up, how quickly the 2 hours fly past each week. And then after Wednesday is over I look forward to the weekend when I can go and watch the shows. And then the cycle starts all over again. Can't wait for Wednesday!

You may ask if there is a downside to doing what I love to do so much, and my answer to you is yes. When you're doing something you've always strived for and you really get a rush from doing, when you're at your job calling people with mutual funds asking them to vote on proxies and shares...well...it gets old really quickly and you realize "Wow...this is so not what I want to do."

Long story short: I just arrived at work (I'm a few minutes early so don't come down on me for blogging at work; I'm not on the clock yet), and I already want to leave.

I feel guilty. Sorry, mutual fund place. I already find you tedious. I'm a bad bad boyfriend.

Dating Tony Soprano

I was at a Starbucks today and had the pleasure of sitting next to a couple that had me completely enthralled. I would say they were in their 50s or so. He was a complete goombah that looked like he had come straight from the set of The Sopranos and she was a tiny little Japanese woman that looked like she came straight from the cover picture of Memoirs of a Geisha.

I had a good time trying to figure out their relationship. At first I thought maybe husband/wife because I noticed he had on a wedding band. A few minutes later when I noticed the wedding band had mysteriously disappeared (he was good) I thought perhaps they were co-workers. But then I was able to figure it out. It was a small Starbucks and not very busy so it was easy to overhear their conversation, and I listened. Boy, did I listen.

Apparently they were on a first date, as I heard him compliment her that "she looked just like her online picture." She was either new to the country or some sort of mail-order bride, because he talked down to her like she had never heard of anything (or anyone) and therefore must have been a little dim. She had a bit of an accent but she talked so softly it was hard to make out exactly how much of an accent was there. His accent was, of course, Mafia.

They sat down. She was enjoying her tea, he his Frappacino and muffin. He began to ask her about movies and what she liked. I couldn't hear what she said, but he then declared that romance movies were his very favorite. I knew it would have been impolite to shout out BAH-LONEY so I refrained. He then went on to declare that the greatest movie of all time was Love Story. I gagged a little. She hadn't heard of it, so he made her get a pen and paper and write it down. He didn't suggest she get a pen and paper and write it down. He made her.

Then, as he was making her write things down, he began talking about The Graduate. It, too, was the best movie ever made and he became a cross between Roger Ebert and a mafia guy who knew nothing about movies because he began barking out to her the spelling of The Graduate as he continued to make her write:

""G"...it's "G"...no, it's a capital "G"...there's a "the" in front of it. Dustin Heffmen." That's not a typo. That's what he said. And he went on to spell it for her. "H-E-F-F-M-E-N. And Rian O'Neil. R-I-A-N-O-apostrophe-N-E-I-L." I was dying to give him the IMdB website, but again refrained. I didn't want to get whacked.

She then mentioned something about her son and he declared, "Oh yea, you mentioned him in your profile. I bet he's a smart kid..." I so thought he was going to finish the sentence by saying "because he's Asian" and he paused like he actually might, but nothing. Just a weird pause where he wanted to say "because he's Asian" but caught himself at the last minute. He asked her what he's studying and her answer made him ask, "Did he wanna go to MIT?" She said yes, he did, but he was very shy.

And it was at this point that his Mr. Nice-Guy facade began to melt away.

"Shy? So he's friggin' shy, since when does that keep you out of MIT?"

I couldn't hear her complete response, but it was something to do with the fact that he wasn't much of a leader.

"Listen, Karen, (so that was her name!) since when does not bein' a leader keep you out of MIT?"

He was getting louder and angrier and I knew if I stuck around long enough I might get to see a good beating. He asked what kind of grades he got, and she said "mostly A's."

"They don't give lettah grades in college, they give numbahs. You find out what his grades are. You find out what his--"

And he grabbed the pen and paper and read out loud as he wrote, like someone in a movie narrating their own writing--

"--accumalive* grade score is. You ask him that. He'll appreciate it. Come on. It means you love him."

*This word was pronounced "ah-KOOM-ah-liv"

And then, ladies, it came. This man said the line I know you all hope to hear on a first date. He put down the pen, and pointed at her. And as he spoke, him pointing at her turned into him shaking his finger in her face. He said, like James Caan out of The Godfather would say to someone who owes the family money, and I quote, "When I ask you somethin' and you don't know the answer, you can say "I dunno." You dont make somethin' up, you hear me?"

This guy was good.

Shiver Me Timbers

News story I found....

Pirates attack luxury liner off Somalia
SAN FRANCISCO (MarketWatch) -- A luxury liner sailing off the coast of Somalia fended off an attack by gunmen in speedboats early Saturday morning in an area notorious for piracy.
None of the mostly American passengers aboard the Seabourn Spirit were harmed but one crew member was lightly injured as they repelled the attackers without returning fire.

OK, the article goes on from there but first of all, there's still pirates? How the freak is that even possible?

Second of all, I want to know how the hell a crew member was "lightly injured repelling attackers without using gunfire." I keep picturing in my head a schoolyard bully in a big puffy winter coat slamming his chest against people and saying "What ya gonna do? What ya gonna do?"

Summing Up

A nice weekend, I must say (thank you Ed Grimley). Friday night I went to the National Comedy Theatre (heretofore referred to as the NCT) to watch the two shows. As Dane Cook would say, I had a blasty-blast. Not only are the people there hilarious but it's been cool to see all of the different games they play and also get a chance to hang out with them and get to know them.

I worked Saturday and then had to run to KMart on the way home to pick up a random item (you don't wanna know). When I was finished there (OK I had to pick up one of those dish-washing scrub things that you put the dish soap in with the detachable sponge head...see, I told you you didn't want to know but you had to be all nosy, and now you're all up in my face) I noticed the time and thought, Hey, it's 7:25. And the NCT is just a couple of blocks away. I'll think I'll go see more shows!

I watched a couple more shows and again, laughed like a crazed ninja. Afterward I got to hang out a little more with some of the gang/crew/posse and it was a splendid time indeed.

Yesterday I pretty much stayed in most of the day. I made a quick jaunt to the Drama Book Shop and then we ordered pizza and chilled out.

I just got back this morning from my callback at the Jekyll and Hyde Club. There were about 12 (?) people there and it was pretty fun. Did a couple quick warm-up games, then played an improv game called Freeze Tag, although when we went on stage we were given one of the different characters from the restaurant to play. Finally, we paired up and we had to read a script. There were two characters, a Southern guy and a French guy. We were going to read the script and then we would switch characters and do it again. I did the French guy on the first round, got some nice laughs, and then before everyone switched it up the casting guy Dave said he was good and thus the callback endeth.

If I make it to the 2nd round of callbacks, we will spend our time in the booth operating the animatronic voices, as well as cueing the music and working the puppets. I am pretty stoked. I felt it went well today (I feel much better than I did after my first audition) so we'll see. I may have sucked big time and am still unaware of it.

So yea, that's my last few days. What have you been up to, children?

La Dee Freakin Dah

The other night I was making a phone call at work to a party who lives in Connecticut and instead of reaching anyone I got this message:

The number you are trying to reach is not in service. Please check the number and then dial again.

And then, all of a sudden, the automated voice got cocky and said in this tone dripping with the essence of conceit:

Connecticut now has two area codes.

Well gee, Connecticut, good for you, ya pompous, bragging-for-no-reason state. You say it like you're the first state to get 2 area codes. I mean sheesh, it's not like I'm from Rhode Island or something. You don't need to talk down to me. I've never been to Connecticut and just for that, I never want to go there.

Show-offs.

Insane!

Look at me!! I'm blogging while I'm at work! Look how crazy I am, sticking it to the man! I'm crazy!!

Phase 2

Well, I told you if I heard anything I'd keep you posted....

I just got a phone call from Dave, the Entertainment Director at the Jekyll and Hyde Club that I mentioned in my last post. He has called me in for a callback Monday morning at 9! I'm really stoked! I'm off to round 2! I didn't think I would hear from him until at least tomorrow sometime since the secound group of auditioners probably just finished up a few hours ago, so cool! Again, I will keep you posted and let you know what happens. I'm already eager to go and can't wait for Monday to get here! To celebrate, I shall now go pick up my paycheck and then stop by the library. Because I'm crazy like that.

Look at me! Look at me!

Yesterday I had an audition at the Jekyll & Hyde Club in Manhattan. When I was living in Pennsylvania and came up to visit friends here in the city, they took us there to eat. I'd never heard of it before, and it was a blast. Even now when I mention it, I am surprised at how many people haven't heard of it. Don't be fooled. The website almost makes it look like a haunted house attraction like every other scary website you see at Halloween time. It's so much more than that.

If you've been to the Adventurer's Club on Pleasure Island at Disneyworld, then you will be familiar with the concept. The Jekyll & Hyde Club is a 4-story restaurant that, legend has it, was opened by the infamous Dr. Jekyll as a place for him and his friends to gather and share their adventures. In fact, your meal will often be interrupted by the appearance of some of Dr. Jekyll's more noted friends and acquaintances.

The club was holding auditions for improv actors, who spend much of their time lingering with the patrons, doing shows, and also working the animatronic puppets scattered all over the place. The concept is actually very similar to what I am already doing with Accomplice NY. I would be given a back story and a few bits of information to pass along, but most of the time is spent riffing and improvising with the diners.

I got there and the front door was locked. Hm. The guy on the phone didn't say what to do in that case. There was a guy hanging out in front of the building who told me he thought the side entrance was opened. I thought he was there for the audition as well, but it turns out he was just a guy hanging out. I made my way downstairs toward the kitchen area and saw some stairs that looked like they headed up into the main lounge. Can I just tell you how creepy it is to be walking through a place that has been designed to look creepy and you have no idea where you're supposed to go and it's totally quiet and deserted? I would be lying if I said a few chills didn't tickle my spine. And on Halloween no less.

I eventually made it up to the main floor and found the rest of them there in the dining area in front of the stage. There were about 15 or so people at the audition. Apparently the director of entertainment received more than 300 headshots from people who wanted to audition and he had it narrowed down to our group and another group of about 20 that is auditioning Thursday morning. He said he's looking to hire about 7 or 8 people.

We started out by doing a simple improv exercise and then played a game of "Freeze Tag." It was a little weird. Kind of like when you're playing volleyball and you realize that most of the people on your team don't really know how to play volleyball, and you end up getting slaughtered by the other team. I'm not trying to sound pompous, those of you who know me know that's really not my style, and there were some people there who were really good and made me laugh. But it was my suspicion that not everyone was as adept at improv as they may have indicated on their resume ("Hey, I took a class once, so sure I can do improv just as good as anyone else!" If you're new to improv and have indeed taken a class, you know it takes a bit of time to really get it down and be able to make the rest of the team look good).

When I auditioned for the National Comedy Theatre, the founder and Guy in Charge Gary said it best. As an actor, when you go to an audition your natural inclination is to want to get up on stage as much as possible and show off all of the crazy characters you can do and prove how funny you are. But that's not what improv is about. It's about making the whole bit work and giving the other people up there a chance to shine as well. So, as you can see, the concept of improv at an audition is an interesting dichotomy. The best way to look good is to make others look good. And sometimes the best thing to do is realize you shouldn't enter the scene at all. If a new character isn't called for, then hang back and wait for your chance, not unlike jumping rope Double Dutch style (like I've ever done that).

I realize this blog has taken a weird turn and has suddenly become a lesson on improv, but I'm just trying to explain that it's hard to have a good improv audition if the person you're up there with isn't right there with you. If I go to a basketball tryout, the 4 other schmucks who get stuck with me on their team are going to look bad because I don't know what the heck I am doing and it'll throw a monkey wrench into the whole thing.

So, I guess it's needless to say, I'm not sure how well the audition went. Maybe I'm making excuses, but that's not my intent. You know, I'm just saying. After doing a few rounds of Freeze Tag I wasn't feeling on top of the world.

Thankfully, the next phase of the audition had us go onto the stage individually where we commenced with "10 characters in a minute." You basically get up there and start doing a character. As soon as they got an idea as to the character you were doing, their traits, et cetera, they would yell CHANGE and you had to start doing a totally different character. The object was to see how many different characters you could create in a minute; the goal was to try to get to 10. I got six (most of us got 5 or 6...there were two people that got in 7). It was a lot tougher than I expected...even if you go up there with characters planned out that you want to do, when you're up there doing one of them, the others all magically escape out the back door. It was a fun exercise, though. My first time doing that one.

The final phase of the audition was character voices, and I was glad they had saved that for last, because I was feeling really confident (and those who know my radio background will understand why I was ready to get it on: I love doing voices!!).

We had to do read some lines as a Wolfman Jack-type voice, Peter Lorre, a guy from Jersey, and a crazy clown. I had a lot of fun doing those and think it went well.

So who knows. I felt like I killed at the voices and did pretty good with the characters (got some good laughs), but the improv is the main part of the job and that didn't go so well for me (or at least I didn't feel like it did...maybe that's just me. I was second-guessing my audition at the National Comedy Theatre as well, and here I am). They are having callbacks on Monday morning and then they will have a second round of callbacks from there. I'd like to at least make it to the first round of callbacks but again, who knows. I did what I did and that's about all I can do.

If I sounded at all egotistical in this post, that wasn't my intention, and I apologize. But if I still came across as a know-it-all, feel free to call me out on it. Gotta keep myself in check, right?

I am thinking, since the other audition is Thursday morning, that maybe I'll hear something on Friday about the Monday callbacks. I'll let you know. And, if Monday comes and goes and I haven't posted anything about getting called back, then we all know what that means, too.

A sign from above

One of my favorite things to do on the subway is reading the advertisements (I guess that's why they put them there). But I like to read them because many times they are unintentionally hilarious (like the sign in Spanish for an injury lawyer whose number is 1-800-MARGARITA. What the heck?).

Last night I noticed a good one, and it's one I'd seen before. This was the first time I really read everything on it; all of the fine print. It was an ad for classes to learn to speak English. I think I read somewhere there are something like 137 different languages spoken in New York City, and so in a variety of different languages the sign read "Learn English" and on the left-hand side of the ad was a smiling blonde girl who obviously enjoyed the fact she has learned to speak English.

Listed in the fine print was a number of reasons why you should take this particular class:

MAKE FRIENDS! ACCENT REDUCTION! MS WORD CLASSES! AFFORDABLE PRICES!

And listed right along with the above, thinking no one would notice, was my favorite perk of the Speak English classes:

STUDENT FASHION WEEK!

Huh? Student fashion week? What the hell kind of school is this?

I told my wife about it last night and told her there was a joke in there somewhere, but she didn't think so. Am I the only one that finds that a little weird?

Student fashion week?

"All right, Hanz, your pronunciation was correct, but can I see you recite the word "do" in all of its participles while walking the runway and looking fabulous?"

Oh my God! You flunked Kenny!

Got an awesome wrong number today. I didn't answer because I didn't recognize the number and the message that was waiting for me was AWESOME.

There was an angry lady leaving a message who spoke broken English. Apparently, Kenny hasn't been turning in his homework all week and if Kenny doesn't start turning in homework he's going to flunk English. So I need to check Kenny's homework before he leaves for school. And also, the Parent-Teacher conference is next month and I really need to show up so I can meet all of Kenny's teachers. And also, Kenny isn't turning in his homework and I need to do something about it before Kenny flunks English.

The lady sounded pretty upset so Kenny, whoever you are, if you're reading this, get off your butt and turn in your freakin homework.

What he said

Sometimes I know what I want to say but can never come up with the exact wording or phrasing to express it. My buddy Justin is not that way. He has a series of blogs called "Answering Questions" that is not only amazing to read, but no matter what side of the topic you are on, also quite compelling. Stop by and check it out. It's not fair to have this much talent, but it's good to see he's putting it to use.

Is George home?

So something actually happened at my night job worth talking about...

For those of you who don't know, I work in the evenings at a place that works with mutual fund companies. I call shareholders and ask them to vote along with the board of their funds for their shareholder meeting. Thrilling, I know. But it's work, and it's at night so I can hit auditions during the day. They're also really cool about letting me take off to film movies and do improv so I can't complain.

Tonight I was calling people on the west coast and one of the names I had to call was a guy by the name of George Lucas. Funny huh? I mean, really, what if it were the George Lucas. I looked at his holdings, and this guy had enough that it actually could have been. Then I noticed that he had some holdings in the name of his daughters. So I Googled George Lucas and found an article online that mentioned his daughters names...and they matched. I was about to call Mr Star Wars himself!! I was really stoked and there was a nice little buzz in the office.

So I called the phone number and I got an answering machine. I was excited. I bet George Lucas has an awesome outgoing message!

It was a female voice and it said something like "This is Sardita, leave a messsage." And that was it.

Wrong number, or just George Lucas covering his tracks so schmucks like me won't post his phone number online? The world may never know.

Just a Regular Day for Ed

So Ed, what did you do today?

Oh, you know, the usual...went to work on the set of the new film The Devil Wears Prada where I got to work in some scenes with Meryl Streep, Stanley Tucci, Heidi Klum, and the designer Valentino.

What an odd day indeed. I got the call last night from my agent a little after midnight that they needed extras and I was out the door at 9:15 this morning for my 10am call. The shoot took place down in Chinatown, not far from where I work with Accomplice NY.

Extras were being held in the basement of a church. There were probably about 150 of us there and it took about 2-1/2 hours for wardrobe to look at the change of clothes we brought along, to approve them, and to let us know what they wanted us to wear (there were 4 different set-ups to be shot with 3 changes of clothing).

After they got us straightened out, we went to the set which was a short bus trip away. It was in a beautiful building (I don't know what this place is during regular business hours...it looked like a cross between a church and a restaurant and a hotel). They had one area set up with white sheets all over to shoot a party that takes place backstage after a fashion show. I was chosen to stand right next to Meryl Streep and Valentino as they enter the room and I believe this is where I got my best shot at some nice screen time. It was fun.

After that, we were led into the main room where they had a fake fashion show runway built and we all portrayed the people in the audience. They shot 3 different fashion shows and changed the set each time, so if you ever see this movie you may have to watch it on DVD to pause it and pick me out each time. But I'm in there, trust me.

It only took 14-1/2 hours to shoot all of this, so needless to say I'm a bit tired but I had a lot of fun. It was cool seeing Stanley Tucci. He's actually pretty witty.

I could go on but I won't. I'd bore you and I'm tired anyhow.

And to think I shop at Old Navy

Just got a call from my agent and tomorrow I'm wanted on the set of the movie The Devil Wears Prada. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. I've fooled them all.

Me & the McBobs

Yesterday was a great day in New york indeed. I'd been looking forward to it for some time now, as my buddies Justin and Amy from San Francisco were in town. They'd both been to New York before, but since they're always on the road traveling from one gig to the next, they never had time to stop and see the city the way they wanted to.

I met them at Penn Station and then it was off to Times Square to pick up a friend of Amy's she hasn't seen for a few years who would be hanging out with us as well.

Our first stop of the day was The Met. Good night, this museum is huge!! At first the "suggested" admission price of $15 might seema little steep but by the time you've gone through the place (or at least attempted to go through it) you find that it was more than worth the admission price. They had an amazing Van Gogh exhibit there. Absolutely huge. You have to understand that the last art museum I was at was the one in Nashville, where a Van Gogh exhibit might be two actual pieces, so it was nice to be blown away by an actual real museum. We spent a few hours there and also visited the displays of art from Prague and by then we were starving and just trying to find a way out. I felt a little guilty rushing past paintings by Monet and sculptures from ancient Asia and Egyptian mummies and sculptures by Rodin and medieval stained glass without giving them a second look. "Yes, yes, I know you're steeped in culture and history and probably worth millions of dollars, but right now I just need a burger." I'd like to go back and see everything I missed. I could try to go on about how huge this place is, but you get the point. If you're in town, check it out.

From there it was on to Central Park. It was an overcast day yesterday, a little chilly, but not even close to what I would call cold so not a lot of people were out and about which was fine by me. The park wasn't very crowded at all and we were free to walk side by side wherever we wanted and hog up the entire walking path. We took some fun pictures and bought some nuts from a street vendor and saw a Japanese woman in an ugly outfit being photographed on some steps and a film crew filming a dog and a lady in an ugly multi-colored 70s shirt talking to what looked like a Jawa.

We managed to come a good way and Amy realized she had forgotten her camera case further back in the park on a bench. Justin and I went after it, not knowing if it would still be there or not since almost an hour had passed. And it was! So thanks for that New York City!

We stopped at a Cosi diner for lunch/dinner and then the girls were distracted by an H&M store. Justin and I went down to FYE while they were shopping for clothes and then we waited inside for a while and were told we could't sit where we were sitting so we went back outside and commented about the passers-by and then went back in and wondered some more how long they were going to be.

Finally from there we went back to the Upper East Side to a little club called something like BT-UT. It was pretty cool. We had S'mores and Rice Krispie Tootsie Roll treats and drinkns as the evening drew near to a close. We made our way back to Penn Station (saying goodbye to Amy's friend at Times Square along the way) and I made sure Justin and Amy got to their train safely at 11:14pm.

What a great day it was. Laughs abounded. Random references to earlier occurances in the day were shouted out at the appropriate times (Segway! Gant! Ever so lightly! No touching!) and there was much laughter and taking of pictures.

Nothing like a good day in the city with friends.

Temptation

As I returned from my lunch break at work this evening, I saw a lonely umbrella on the sidewalk leaning against a fence next to a scooter. I really wanted to steal it. Well, I guess it wouldn't be stealing so much as it would be taking. It looked like a really nice umbrella, too.

But I didn't take it (nor did I steal it). But not because of my extreme sense of responsibility as an upstanding citizen. No, I didn't take it because it was a large umbrella and when it rains in NYC and everyone has their umbrellas out, large ones are annoying. And I don't want to be annoying.

So, umbrella owner, whoever you may be, your umbrella is still right where you left it. And you're welcome.

And in the role of Cliff Robertson...Me

Earlier this year I was in a production of Sunday in New York in Nashville. Last week when I was at the library I found the old movie version of it starring Jane Fonda and Some Guy. The part I played was played by Cliff Robertson. It was interesting seeing the differences in line readings and approaches. It was also interesting that for the film they wrote a lot of extra scenes with Adam (the character I played). I wonder if that's because Cliff Robertson was a big star back then and they wanted him in the film more often, or if they just wanted more of that character. I don't know, and I'm too lazy to research my speculation.

At any rate, it was an interesting viewing. It was an OK movie. The play itself isn't the most brilliantly-written piece of American literature but I liked the changes they made in parts of the film and the way they flushed things out a little more. All in all, I think the film was better than the play (and how often can you say something like that). But, with that said, if I had watched the film without previously knowing anything about it I think I would have been bored.

So really, this is kind of a waste of a posting. Sorry about that.

Money for Nothing (Kicks are Free)

Last night I worked as an extra on a TV Pilot called "The Black Donnellys." It was written and being directed by Paul Haggis, the guy who wrote the films "Crash" and "Million Dollar Baby."

It was crazy cold last night, and I was there from 5:30pm until about 12:30. A cold night in Spanish Harlem indeed. Loyal readers will recall other occasions where I'd done extra work and some of the other extras who showed up were not used. Well, last night was my time to sit out. Didn't do a thing, but I got a really good meal and I got to watch them film a fight scene and I still got paid, so I'm not complaining one little bit.

The Natural High

Last night was my first rehearsal with the National Comedy Theatre. I had a blast; so much fun! It's just really cool to be doing what I love to do so much once again. There are about 6 of us from the audition who got hired but a couple of the people couldn't make it last night. The theater also offers improv classes and a few of the people from their 3rd level class (what they refer to as the minor leaguers) were there as well.

Those of us who are brand new will be rehearsing on Wednesdays for about 6-8 weeks and then we will switch over to Tuesday nights when the rest of the troupe rehearses and we will then start doing shows. At first it seems like a long time, but if you think about it, since rehearsals are only once a week we are only rehearsing about 8 times before we are up there and performing. A lot of improv theaters require that you pay to take classes before you can get any stage time, so I am fortunate that's not the case with these guys.

Last night went really well. The other new members are a lot of fun to work with and we played a couple of games I had played before and some that were new to me.

If you live in an area that offers improv classes of some kind, I highly recommend looking into it. The adrenaline rush is amazing.

On a side note, has anyone else seen the new show Everybody Hates Chris? That's my pick of the litter for the new season (or at least of all of the new shows of the new season). Between that show and Arrested Development, Lost, Desperate Housewives, and SNL TV is my friend.

Hollywood and New York

If there's one thing that living in New York has revealed to me, it's the accuracy (or inaccuracy) of how the city is portrayed in film.

If I'm watching something on TV that is set in New York and one of the characters is hanging out on the street or walking down a sidewalk, it is suddenly very obvious to me if they are the only one walking down that street. It's such a small, minute detail but I am amazed at how startlingly obvious that seems to me now, because you're never the only one. I was out last night walking around at 3am and I wasn't alone, so don't even get me started on the daytime.

The other thing that struck me is often times in movies when someone gets thrown out of a restaurant or an establishment, they often land on a huge pile of garbage bags that are conveniently lined along the sidewalk. Oddly enough, that is true. I always thought that was just a device Hollywood made up but lo and behold, I was mistaken.

So the next time you're watching a movie set in New York pay attention. If the characters are outside and alone, then it's wrong. If they're thrown onto trash bags, then everything is fine.

IMDb

So, I'm just saying, look who finally got listed in the Internet Movie Database.

I mean, come on. I'm digging it!

Oh no, wait, I'm just a dork

So I didn't hear from the improv theater this weekend. Bummer. I just got a new phone last week (actually a new account on an old phone) but then yesterday I realized that I hadn't heard from anyone.

Long story short, I didn't realize I had to go into my voice mail and turn on the message notifier thing, so I had three messages that I didn't know I had. And, wouldn't you know it, I did get a call from the National Comedy Theater. And they called me again yesterday and left another message that I didn't know about, asking me to join their merry little band.

If ever there was a dork, I would be he.

I was able to reach the guy who ran the auditions, Gary, this morning and it sounds like I'm in. I'll be rehearsing with them for a few weeks before they throw me into the shows (which are Friday and Saturday nights) so I'll keep you posted on those developements. One of the best things about it all? It doesn't interefere at all with my work at Accomplice NY.

Sometimes things work out perfectly......

....too perfectly.....

(cue dramatic music)

Malcolm & Lara

Over the weekend I was able to hang out with my two favorite South Africans, Malcolm & Lara. I met them a couple of years ago when Dee was working on the cruise ship. In the three weeks I spent on the ship (and the week I was in LA while they were in rehearsals) the four of us hung out quite a bit and we became fast friends.

They're still performing on ships and were in port in NJ Friday so we were able to get together and hang out. Dee was really sick (food poisoning we think) so she wasn't up for company but the three of us had a really good visit.

We got a quick bite to eat and just had an all-around nice hang. They could only come into town for a few hours, but I haven't seen them for a few years so it was nice to catch up. Hopefully I'll be able to see them again before their ship begins porting out of Miami in November.

I mean, these are the people who introduced me to the phrase "Howzit?". How can I not love them??

What's wrong with me???

When I was a kid, my brother and I had a record album called Goofy Gold which was basically a collection of funny songs from the 50s and 60s. It had songs like "Monster Mash," "The Purple People Eater," and "Chantilly Lace."

I woke up this morning with "Pepino the Italian Mouse" from that album stuck in my head.

What the...?

Nope

Well, I didn't get a call from the American Comedy Theater, so I guess I didn't get the improv gig with them. But at least I know.

Next!

:)

Tonight after performing with Accomplice NY I hung out again with everyone for a bit and chatted. Had a really good talk with one of the other performers, James. He's a good man and we see eye to eye on a lot of things from comedy to work ethics. It's always nice to meet and hang out with new friends who think on the same weird brainwave. Good times.

Off the Top of My Head

Big audition today at the National Comedy Theater. They're an improv theater here in Manhattan and they had a call today to cast more troupe members. There were probably about 25 or 30 of us who showed up (I'm bad at estimating).

The audition itself lasted about 2 hours and they basically had us play a bunch of different improv games, usually in groups of 4. There were a couple of guys there that I thought did a great job. I had a lot of fun. You know me, it's always good to do improv again, and I was pretty happy with how it went.

A time or two, after doing a scene, I had a couple of short bouts of second-guessing myself or what I did, but you can't hold on to that for too long or it'll just mess you up, so it was onward and upward. All said and done, I feel pretty good about it without letting myself expecting anything.

After the audition was over they told us we'd know something by tomorrow evening so if we get a call, we're in, and if we don't, well, you don't. That's always good to know. A lot of times after auditioning you wonder how it went with no idea of how long before you might hear something. So at least with this I'll know for sure one way or the other by Monday.

And you know what they say. Knowing is half the battle.

Whatever

Today I went to an audition for a new VH1 show, "Whatever." They were looking for people with improv skills and that's all I knew going in.

The audition was in Soho (I think that's where I was, I don't know) and the people there were really friendly. The girl auditioning me, Karen, told me that basically it's a show set up like the interview segments on "The Daily Show." Not the celebrity segments, but the parts where they find a kazoo whittler or whatever. You know, where the person being interviewed is totally serious and into it and not realizing that the rest of America is laughing at them. So that was the set up.

They brought in a guy named Bob who was to play an old man who was in a "Jazzy" race (you know, those little scooters for the elderly) and I had to interview him. I had a lot of fun. After that, Bob left and Karen filmed me as if I were doing a nature show in Central Park and wanted me to talk about the two animals I was in search of. I chose "a bird" and "an old Broadway has-been actress with Botox injections." Don't ask me where that came from, this is improv people.

Finally I had to do a sign-off report as someone who just witnessed a race between an Olympic athlete and a heroin addict.

So, again, who knows. I got Karen to laugh quite a bit so that was a plus.

Another plus was the doorman/security guy on the way out. His name is Ira, a native New Yawk-er, and he gave me the names of some of his favorite places to eat in Manhattan.

And there you have it. Good times.

THINK ABOUT IT!!

Today I saw something on the street that was so funny (or at least to me it was) I had to stop and write it down. I walked up another half-block, ducked under the awning of a hotel, pulled my book of funny thoughts from my back pocket, and wrote about the Big Scary Black Lady For Jesus.

On the corner of (I think) 6th and 47th there was this tall Amazonian black woman dressed nicely in a black and white power-outfit. Black skirt and white top. She looked like your average businesswoman except for the fact see she was waving yellow pamphlets and screaming angrily.

As I got closer I heard what she was yelling about. She was mad about The Good News. Not that she was necessarily a fan, she was just mad about it. "Think about how good God is to us!!" She wasn't just raising her voice so she could be heard, she was actually yelling at people like she was in the middle of a fight. "Think about how good God is to us!!" Not suggesting people think about it, but demanding it.

Then a short little bald white guy walked by and she got right in his face and screamed, "THINK ABOUT IT!!!!"

I'm not exaggerating. She yelled it right in this guy's face and I laughed my crazy head off. People walking by probably thought I was the crazy one because I was walking by myself, laughing, but man it was worth it.

My funny bit

I came up with a comedy bit for my stand-up yesterday that I really like a lot. Usually when I come up with an idea for a bit I will fit it into a blog somewhere and see what kind of a response I get but I like this one so much, I don't want to reveal it yet for fear of someone stealing it from me.

That's right. I don't trust any of you people.

Quit following me!!

Barefoot

Another audition today. This time it was for a Neil Simon play that's going to Broadway in the Spring, Barefoot in the Park. Most of the roles have already been filled but they were looking for understudies and I thought understudying on Broadway ain't too shabby. It was an Equity call (and for those of who who may not know, that basically means people in the actor's union get to go in before the rest of us schmucks. And as they run out of Equity people, then they send in the non-union gang) but I decided I would go anyhow if for no other reason than to get out there and be seen by casting people. The casting person was a name Dee was familiar with, so she thought it was a good move on my part to show up. The place was packed and even though I shouwed up shortly after 10 I wasn't able to actually audition until around 2 or so.

All we needed to have prepared for the audition was a comedic monologue. As we were waiting in line, the proctor was telling us to keep it short. Apparently a lot of people today were doing monologues that just went on and on and on. Mine is only about a minute long and I shaved off a few sentences here and there while I was waiting in the hall. I was ready to go (and eager to perform my Steve Martin monlogue again!).

I went in and the girl was really friendly. She asked what I was going to be performing and I told her it was "A Public Apology" by Steve Martin. She perked up a little bit and was like, "Oh, I haven't heard that one!" so I was eager to take her on a comedic journey.

I started the monologue and she stopped me a few lines in and asked me not to address it to her, but to look above her. I said "No problem" and began again. As I was doing it, out of the corner of my eye I could see her covering her mouth and trying not to laugh out loud, which of course, was just adding fuel to the fire for me, and by the end she totally lost it and was laughing out loud.

After I was finished (and she finished laughing) she said she teaches acting classes in the city and usually focuses on scenes rather than monologues but she wanted to know where she could find that monologue because she really liked it and wanted to check it out.

We chit-chatted for a short bit and that was pretty much that. I must say, it was one of the best responses I've gotten on the monlogue so I left feeling really nice. Since it was an Equity audition and there were a ton of union people there auditioning I'm not getting my hopes up too much, but man I had a good time and I think she did, too.

Another successful ride on the E-Train.

No wonder it's free

Today I made my way uptown a bit to stop by the Performing Arts branch of the New York Public Library. Basically, this is where they keep all of their plays, musicals, music CDs, et cetera. It's in the middle of Lincoln Center, so it was my first time walking past The Met (the outside of the building is a lot more modern than I pictured) and I also walked past Julliard.

After visiting the li-bary I made my way downtown to work and was a little early so I decided to swing by the National Museum of the Native American. Since there is no admission price, I figured it was about time I went and got cultured. It's this huge, old building that looks like it should be a library. There were armed guards outside and I had to put my backpack through an x-ray machine.

The guards inside said the exhibits were on the 2nd floor only (it's like a 5-story building). About a third of the 2nd floor was blocked off, so the exhibit was very limited. And not extremely diverse. Hey look, a pot. And there's another pot. And this pot looks just like the last two I saw. Here's a moccasin. And another pot. And more moccasins. And now we come to a pot.

I don't know what I was expecting, but I wasn't expecting The Great Pot/Moccasin-alooza Festival. Darn. And I really wanted to like it, too. I just wonder what goes on in the other 4 floors of the building. But I didn't want to get shot trying to find out.

Next time.

Not the Lead

Funny story.

The short film I mentioned in my last blog? Well, I didn't get it. Sure, it's not the first time I haven't gotten a part, but it IS the first time I got a callback and before I could even show up for the follow-up audition find out that I didn't get it. Ha!

When I left for work tonight I got an email from the director confirming my 4pm callback tomorrow and when I got home I had an email waiting for me stating that the part went to someone else ("but let me know if you do any improv in the area!" Sure. I'll get right on it).

I'm very much an "everything happens for a reason" kinda guy, so I am eager to find out what I'll be doing instead. Good times.

The lead

Sunday night after performing with Accomplice NY I had an audition for a short film. I usually make it a rule to not audition for non-paying roles (I gots ta pay the bills!) but this film sounded interesting, very dialogue heavy with some good interaction between the lead actor and actress and it was the lead role (cool!). It's a movie basically about two people trying to navigate through the ups and downs of a relationship. I could use the experience on camera and my Spidey sense was telling me it was something I should do. So we'll see how well my intuition is peforming.

At the audition the director Jason was really cool, and I had fun. The reading felt natural and I was pretty confident with how it went. It sounds like Jason has gathered a really good crew and he is in school getting his doctorate in media. He spends a few months out of the year in Europe working with film directors like Atom Egoyan. His girlfriend will play the female lead and she is currently on Broadway performing in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. It sounds like it will be a nice production to work on. When I was in Chicago the only non-paying gig I took was working with Keith on the 48 Hour Film Project and it turned out to be one of my best Chicago experiences mostly because of the people I met working on the set. I am hoping if I am cast in this project it will be a similar experience.

Jason told me he really liked my performance and I would hear back from him this week. He said he and his producers would watch the audition tapes on Monday and Tuesday and I would hear something by Wednesday.

Last night while at work I got an email from him informing me that they would indeed like to bring me in for a callback. He wants me to re-read the scenes I read on Sunday night and possibly read a new one as well. I would be reading opposite people who have already been cast or are very high in the running. Right now we are trying to coordinate schedules but it looks as if it might be happening tomorrow afternoon before I head in to work.

I'm stoked about the opportunity and will definitely keep you posted on the progress and further developments. Right now I am excited and am hoping for the best. We'll see.

Diva Extras

I have returned to the world of doing extra work. If you're familiar with my adventures, then you know that I was able to get some background work on movies when I was in Chicago. I am glad to say that today I continued my legacy as an extra in New York City.

I found a post on Craig's List about a small-budget film looking for extras. They couldn't pay a whole lot but hey, it's something for my resume, and I love being on the set and watching how things run. The main requirement for doing extra work is having patience because you spend 99% of the day waiting and 1% actually doing something with the cameras rolling. So, if you don't mind waiting around talking to people and getting paid for it, then you may want to look into it.

The film I was working on today is called Devil You Know and we were shooting in this really cool club in New York called Fizz. The only info we got was we were supposed to dress formal/semi-formal as they were going to be shooting a scene that takes place in a posh restaurant. We were also asked to steer away from bright colors. So, I wore black pants, a black shirt, a black tie, and my black blazer. I was stylin.

Shortly after arriving, the director pulled me aside and asked if I would like to play the maitre d'. Hey sure! So there you go. All of a sudden I'm the freakin' maitre d'. Step right up! They brought me into make-up and touched me up a bit and then they sent me to the hair department so they could tweak me. That was cool. My first time on a film getting the whole hair & make-up treatment so that was cool. All of the crew members were really nice and friendly.

They had me stand in the entryway of the club, behind the desk. No lines, I just had to stare at the lady who walked in and kind of exchange looks with her. And they brought the lady onto the set and it was Lena Olin! I know, I know, you may be asking yourself, "Who's Lena Olin?" She's one of those actresses you see all the time but can't name anything she's been in. She's a very beautiful actress from Sweden and you'd never guess she was 50 years old. If you've seen Hollywood Homicide (Harrison Ford), Alias, Chocolat, Mystery Men or Romeo is Bleeding then you've seen Lena Olin. Anyhow, I was told I was supposed to be a snotty maitre d' and when she enters, just look at her and then look back away like I don't care about her. I was told she was going to look at me in similar distaste and when the cameras rolled and she came in -- Man -- she gave me a look like I just ran over her dog. We did it again and this time I looked at her like she just ran over my dog and then threw up on him. The director was really happy with it, so we moved on to the next shot and Lena just looked at me and laughed and it was cool. She was really nice. And that was our only exchange.

After shooting my scenes with her, I returned downstairs to a room where they had the extras holding. Everyone else there had all done extra work before, most of them more than me, but they had started to complain that things were taking so long for them to get on camera. The ringleader, some guy I worked with on the Court TV shoot, is one of those guys always name-dropping and talking about his connections and generally annoying everyone else. And he started having a fit when, after they finally used him on camera, he wasn't getting more time. He wanted more food, refused to be quiet when they called "Action," and in general was just being a big whiny baby because it was taking so long (despite the fact that we were told the shoot would last all day). He gave the girl from the crew who was our contact a really hard time and finally she told him that he was done and he could go home.

I didn't get it. He got screen time, he got free food, and he's done extra work before so he knows that when he goes to an extra call he'll spend most of the time waiting around to be called to the set. He would have brought me down if I wasn't having fun snickering at him behind his back.

All in all, though, a good day. We got done late and I spent some time on a fun set working with some really cool people. Who can complain about that?

You know....besides that one guy.

Subway Etiquette

I'm still pretty new here in the city and the thrill of the subway hasn't yet worn off, although I do have a question about rules of behavior while riding the train.

Let's say I'm on the subway and it's crowded. I am sitting next to strangers on either side and on my merry way. Soon, though, we are bound to come to a main stop like Penn Station or Union Square and it always happens. Everyone gets off the train except for the person sitting on my immediate left. So all of a sudden it's like I have myself a new buddy. We're just sitting there, complete strangers right on top of each other, our shirts touching, and there are like 20 open seats all around us.

Am I supposed to scoot down or sit on the other side of the train? The times this has happened it's not like I was sitting next to a smelly bum or a Scientologist. They seemed like regular people. I don't want to appear rude. I would sit next to you, but I'd really rather not. I loathe your body. That's not nice to send that message, is it?

But on the other hand, am I seen as a creep if I don't move? Who the hell is this guy and why is he still sitting right next to me?

But what if I was sitting down first and they were the one to sit next to me? Isn't the burden now on them to move if they so desire? That wouldn't offend me but I don't want them to feel like they are obligated to continue to sit next to me.

So far it hasn't been too bad, though, because I usually travel with a book and I can pretend that I am so engrossed with what I am reading that I don't even notice them. But one of these days I'm going to get up, sit on the opposite side of the train, and just glare at the person. And when they look up at me I'll just say,

"Nice fart."
















Who'm I kidding, I won't do that. But man, I wish I was the sort of person who would.

Inquiring Minds Wanna Know

Yesterday as I was walking down 45th street on my way to the library I passed a very interesting scene. In front of a theater (I forget which one) there were two men clearly arguing over something with a cop. The men were both very nicely dressed, one in a black designer suit. I couldn't tell what they were arguring about, and as I passed I heard the man in the suit say (and I quote):

"...with the same teflon deference that they handle everything..."

I don't know what they were talking about or who Suit Man was angry at, but I just thought that was the coolest quote in the world. I'm gonna have to use that in something.

"Labor" Day

I love that it is called Labor Day, yet on this day everyone takes off work.

Things here have been going well. I have been working at the mutual fund company I mentioned earlier and that is cool. Working nights keeps me open to hit auditions during the day and they have a pretty flexible schedule. I am also still doing improv on the weekends for Accomplice NY. No shows next Sunday, though, as it is 9/11.

I'm getting a really nice tan line on my feet from my sandals. I'll take a picture of it to show you. I left my cord for my digital camera in PA so I won't be able to upload the picture for a bit yet, but as soon as I do, you'll know. You have been duly warned.

My Online Court TV Appearance. Maybe.

I got an email today from the director I worked with for the Court TV project I blogged about a week or so ago. Apparently the game is now online and ready to be played, so spread the word.

He mentioned in his email that not everyone who worked actually made it into the final game. I'm running on a lame dial-up connection and my computer is having issues, so I'm not able to explore the whole thing to even know if I made it or not. So maybe I did, and maybe I didn't. I don't have the patience right now to find out. If someone with a faster connection spots me somewhere in the game (the scene I shot was me sitting at a table...it was all green screen, so I can't give you more info than that) leave me a message and let me know.

And if not...well, at least you go to play a game.

If you missed it above, the link is http://www.courttv.com/contest

Get a Job

I start my new job on Monday. It's a part-time job that I got through a temp agency (none of the agencies I went to that I mentioned in my earlier blog). It's a job at a finance company where I have to call shareholders and ask them how they want to vote on issues. Granted, it doesn't sound like the most exciting job in the world, but it's a night job (5:30-11) which means I have my days free to go to auditions!!!! YES!! I am loving it!

The job is in the Wall Street district and during my interview we were in a room overlooking the water and I had my first ever real-life glimpse of the Statue of Liberty. And can I tell you? It was a lot smaller than I imagined.

Whenever you see it in a movie it's always a swooping helicopter shot up close and everything, so this time when I sqaw it I was in a huge skyscraper that seemed to dwarf it and I was like, "Huh." Still though, it was cool. But since I was in an interview, I couldn't really take the time to gawk and sightsee.

So that was a good time. In the meantime, I've been working on stand-up material. We'll see how that goes.

I Saw A Transvestite Today

I mean, I'm just sayin...

So, by the way...

I updated my blog earlier today and when I went to post it there was an error and it lost it all. I don't feel like re-typing it all, so I'll re-cap:

My improv gig on Sunday went really well and I had a lot of fun.

I tried selling tickets for The Improv on the street today but it didn't go well.

I got tickets for The Late Show with David Letterman.

Improv and Discovery

I had a meeting yesterday with a guy named Tom to see about doing some improv on the weekends. We were to meet at a Starbucks and (I think) we were in the village. It was bound to happen sometime, and yesterday was the day. I got a little lost. Not much. Just a little. I accidentally got on the express subway instead of the local train and we shot right past my stop. Only one stop past, but to get back on the train going the other way, you had to leave, cross the street, and pay to get back on, and I ain't's got the money to fool with that. So I tried to find my way on my own. I know this makes me sound like a dork (or a cowboy!) but I can usually tell which direction I am facing from the position of the sun (for real!). But at the time it was high noon, so I was sort of out of luck. I was able to ask a friendly mailman for directions, shooting the whole men don't ask for directions theory down. Turns out I was only 3 blocks from where I wanted to be, so not too bad.

I got to the Starbucks about 5 minutes before Tom so all was well. And I must be honest, Tom threw me off a bit. Tom looks just like Ben, the guy who fired me from the record label because he claimed radio did nothing to promote albums. So psychologically it took me a bit to actually put that past me and like the guy. Tom was really cool, though, and he told me what the improv gig was about.

The name of the show is Accomplice NY and it's sort of a cross between a murder mystery party, a scavenger hunt, and a walking tour of Manhattan. A group of eight or so people sign up for this thing and they don't know what they are supposed to do. All they know is where to meet. They are then approached by actors who are all playing shady characters and are asked to deliver some stuff for a crime boss. They're given clues as to what to do next, where to go, and who to look for. They end up going to like 10 different places all around Manhattan, never knowing if the people they meet on the way are actors or if they're just real people walking around. I thought it sounded like a lot of fun and Tom asked me if I could play a paranoid, crazy guy who was a genius. I said sure and he said "Let's see it." So there we sat in Starbucks, him talking to me as I carried on in a sort of Doc Brown-crossed-with-a-guy-named-Sherm-I-knew-in-college character I made upon the spot. After about five minutes he started laughing and just said "You're hired." So I go in Saturday to watch them do it a few times and then on Sunday it's all me. Right now they only do shows on weekends, but I am really stoked!

After that I had a shoot for the Discovery Channel. I don't want to divulge too much because of the confidnetiality thing I signed, but I'll tell you a bit. I doubt their lawyers are reading this, so I'll just tell you what they posted on the audition notices that I already knew going into it. They are holding callbacks for a show that takes place in a cab. They are only looking for actual cab drivers, and they had it narrowed down a bit. They were also looking for actors to come in (me) and play the person in the back of the cab so the auditioners had someone to play off of. They were filming these auditions for the head honchos at Discovery to watch. So it was kind of fun doing an audition that had zero pressure because I knew they weren't really watching me, it was all about the cab driver. It was a lot of fun (and I got to do it in front of blue screen! This week I'm getting a lot of training with the whole blue/green screen thing...where are the Sin City 2 auditions?)

Afterward the executive producer brought me aside and asked me if I could come in on Monday and do it again as they tape the final auditions. They were bringing in some big hotshot agent for these final callbacks and he wanted me to play the passenger. I told him "Sure!" and he said that it would be a really good opportunity for me to be seen by her. So who knows. I've never heard of her but apparently she is a real mover and shaker. At any rate, it'll be fun. I'll be sure to bring an extra head shot and resume.

A full day yesterday. Whew! I love it!

I've run out of head shots so until I can afford to buy more photo paper, the hunt for a part-time job continues but as always I will keep you posted.

The Mean and the Nice

Today I encountered my first mean and/or rude New Yorker. I'm not surprised that I met someone grumpy because hey, this is New York. That's just a given. I'm actually more surprised that it took this long. I'm not changing any names to protect the guilty. I'm a New Yorker now and as a New Yorker, I say screw them.

I was out looking for temp work and went to a place called Winmar Temporary Services. I got up the elevator, rang the bell, and the door opened a crack and some lady in her 60s opened the door. She wouldn't open the door any further because apparently my identical twin was there last week and kicked open the door and attacked her with sticks.

She asked what I wanted and I told her I was looking for temp work. She got really upset and said I needed to call to make an appointment. I said OK and then, even though I already had their number, I asked for their number anyway. She looked at the door where it said "804" and again got mad and asked what I meant.

I said, "So I can call to make an appointment." Now bear in mind, I wasn't being rude or copping an attitude. I still had on my polite face and was using my polite voice. Instead, she looked at me in disgust and said, "You know, you have to have a resume."

Well duh, lady. I have 20 of them in my backpack and if you'd like I can take them out and give you a papercut with each one right across your face. I'm not sure what it was about me but she definitely didn't think I'd have any idea what a resume was, not to mention there wasn't a chance I would actually have one.

But instead of getting upset or becoming annoyed I just decided to laugh at her. And I did. Not a full-on belly laugh but a snicker/laugh that said, "Well of course I need a resume, you IDIOT." I said, "Yeah I have one." I went back into the elevator and when the doors closed I flipped her off. I called them on the phone and the guy who answered asked me to email my resume to them. I don't think I will.

I also went to a temporary staffing service place called CTI and when I asked for work the girl gave me an application and questionnaire. Inside were all sorts of questions about being a waiter.

1. From which side do you serve someone in French service?
2. When all of the waiters serve a table at once it is called _______ the room.
3. What is French service?

Huh? What? How the freak should I know? I just want to sit at a computer and type stuff. So I filled out the questionnaire to the best of my ability and when I didn't know the answer I made it obvious. By the way, my answers to the above questions were as follows (for real...this is what I put):

1. The right
2. Feeding
3. Treating you with a fake sincerity whilst secretly loathing me for being an "American swine."

I turned in my test and told them I knew nothing about being a waiter. It was a different girl behind the desk and she asked why I filled out that particular application. I told her that's what was given to me, I just want to type on a computer and she said, "Oh. Then I just need a resume. You don't want to be a waiter?" I told her to look over my test and see if she thinks that's my strong point. She laughed and I wished I was still in bed, sleeping away.

As I left I got stopped at a street corner and was waiting for the WALK signal. There were three people with British accents pointing and ooh-ing and ahh-ing. I looked up and just down the street was the Empire State Building. I think. It might have been the Chrysler Building. That's not the point. The point is, it was beautiful. The morning sunlight hit it just rioght and was reflecting off of the windows in a brilliant prism.

So thank you, English People, for pointing that out to me. I needed to see that and it was a nice way to cap off the morning.

I could go on about my afternoon where I got a gig doing improv and filmed blue screen stuff for the Discovery Channel, but for now I am all pooped out. I'll tell you more stories later, kids. But it was a great afternoon.

Mamet & Court TV

Well, last night I booked a shoot for Court TV and went in to do that this morning. It's actually for Court TV's website. Some kind of new interactive such and such or something...part of their new promotion or look or what-have-you. I played a diner at a fancy French restaurant. And hey, did I mention it was my first time doing green screen? Pretty weird, I must say. I basically sat across from a lady and we had to mime a table between us. We looked pretty goofy there with our elbows suspended in the air on nothing, but I am eager to see what the final project looks like. When it's online, I will be sure to post the website here so you can see it as well. I'm sure it will be good for a nice laugh.

After that I decided to go to an audition for the David Mamet play, Speed the Plow. All I know about the play is Madonna did it on Broadway back in the 80s and got horrible reviews. So who knows. I could hear some of the people doing monologues in front of me, and they all sounded like mean, angry rants with lots of swearing (typical Mamet). But I started to second-guess myself, because the monologue I had prepared (the only one I have right now, really) is a comedic monologue from Steve Martin's book Pure Drivel. And the closer it got, the more nervouse I made myself. What if I do my monologue and then they ask if I have something more dramatic?? Then, as the guy took us to go in, he said they are looking for a monologue 2 minutes or less, and preferable comedic. YES!!!!

The audition went great. The people I auditioned for were the producers of the show. There were four of them, three men and a woman. I did the same monologue I did for the Martin Short audition yesterday and they laughed the whole time. It was a blast!! I felt really good about it and after I was done the lady pointed at me and said "Is that from Steve Martin?" and I pointed right back at her and said, "Yes it is!" There's nothing quite as fulfilling as going to an audition and knowing it went well. Whether or not anything comes from it, I'm really happy with how it went.

On the way home I stopped and filled out some applications at some of the area theaters. I ran into our friend Illeana at one of them (wow, only 4 days in New York and I already saw someone I know!).

Good times. :)

What I Almost Stepped In

One of the fun things about being in New York City is the vast cornucopia of items you can step on (or almost step on) while traversing the streets. Today my favorite thing I almost stepped on was a jumbo pretzel. I'll keep you updated on those fun facts.

This morning there was an audition for the new Martin Short show. I think it went well, thanks to yesterday. Yesterday (did I already mention this?) I had an audition for Spamalot, the Broadway musical verion of Monty Python's Monty Python & the Holy Grail. It was my first "big" audition in NY and it was basically a cattle call (meaning, there were a zillion people there). I went in, sang my song, they smiled, and I was done.

I'm not an amazing singer by any sense of the imagination and singing auditions get me kind of nervous (just let me do my funny monologue and I am good to go), so it was a good chance to go in, do it, and get in the mode.A nice warm-up.

Today's audition for the Martin Short show was a lot better. Actually, there was hardly anyone there and most of them were girls so that was cool (not because I was there to pick up girls, but because that means less guys competing against me). The auditioners wanted a funny song (actually, just 16 bars of it) and a comic monologue. Cool. Let's do this.

The people that went in before me were flustered when they got back. They said the people were nice, but they gave no reactions; had no expressions. One extremely effeminate guy came back into the main holding room, waved his hand over his face, and just said "Ssssstonefaced."

Another girl said "They're nice enough, but they're so young!! They just sat there and watched and didn't react at all. No expressions. I can't believe how young they were." And then the people began to murmur about the casting people being so young and how horrible it was.

I didn't get it.

I went in and there they were. The pianop player, and two girls behind the desk (one of whom I learned was an intern). I guess they were young, but I still can't figure out what the big deal was. It's not like I've never seen someone in their 20s before.

They were very friendly and carried on niceties and then when I began, their expressions went blank. Just staring and watching and I was determined to get them to laugh. I did my song (it was OK) and then my monologue. I've never done my monogogue and not gotten a laugh and these people had made up their minds to not to laugh at anything. And they didn't laugh. So in my head I decided they had been instructed not to laugh to see how that affects our performance and I was determined it wouldn't affect mine.

And I did my monologue and when I was done, and they knew I was done, they both started laughing. Cool. They thanked me and I was on my way. When the piano player gave me my music back he told me I did a "really great job." So even though it doesn't really matter what the piano player thinks, that was good to hear. And at least I got them to laugh.

So that was fun and cool. It's good to be doing the grind again.

Then, on the way home, is when I almost stepped on the pretzel.

Start Spreadin' the News

New York....finally. I'm still exhausted from a week of seemingly endless driving and furniture moving, but I'm here now with Dee. I have some fun auditions lined up this week and this morning went to an audition for Spamalot. The usual waiting, but the audition itself was quick and painless. I'm currently on the hunt for a PT job to supplement before a gig comes along, but I have no complaints. Give me a few weeks. I'll find something.

But really. I'm just up the block from Avenue Q and Glengarry Glen Ross. So I'm in good company.

Ramblin

Just got back to Indiana from moving all of our junk into storage down in Nashville. Drove down Thursday, moved all day Friday, and just got back. I need sleep. Leaving tomorrow for PA.

'Night.

Back in Nashville...really?

Only took me 6-1/2 hours to get here from home! A new record! Never before did I have such smooth sailing. No traffic at all. Yee!

What kept me company on the way here? Hmmmm...... Dane Cook, Stephen Lynch, Spamalot, Fatboy Slim, and various mix tapes.

Onward ho!!!!

Dane Cook 2. Yea, it's that good.

Finally got out to grab the new album by comedian Dane Cook, "Retaliation." No such thing as a sophomore slump with this guy. I almost hit 2 people in my car driving home listening to it (No fair making me laugh so much I can't see the road!).

You may have read my blog earlier about this CD and believe, me, it's worth it. 2 CDs and a DVD for 15 bucks? Come on. You can't NOT afford that. Get off your butt and support some good comedy.

My brother must have been adopted

While visiting with my brother the other day he informed me that he hates -- hates -- Will Ferrell. Huh? How can that be? There are some people who could say that and I wouldn't be surprised, but as goofy and crazy as Ray is, I don't get how he could find Will Ferrell un-funny.

Considering the adventures Ray has had so far in his new job as a mailman, if someone were to make a movie about Ray's life, I would cast Will Ferrell to play the part. Not only do I think it would be hilarious, but also because I know it would drive Ray nuts.

Free Books!! (and hi, Shayne)

Did I mentions that the Waanders Bookstore in Auburn IN has free books? Have I written about that in any of my blogs yet? I'm too lazy to go back and look, so if I have, well, you can never hear too much about free books.

Walk inside the door and turn right. In front of you, on the very bottom shelf, are free books! The sign encourages patrons to "help themselves!" I took four the first time I went in and went in and snagged three more yesterday. They are advance copies of books coming out soon; I didn't see anything by anyone I'd heard of before, but found one really good one: Torture the Artist by Allen Goebel. It's basically a really nice social commentary on the state of entertainment. So, you know, if you happen to be in town for the big car show thing they have every year, you might want to swing by (and then be sure to visit my uncle's Mexican restaurant right next door. Their PHATT STUFFED CHIMI is amazing...a chimichanga with cajun spices!!). And while you're there getting free books, pick up some books you have to pay for at the same time. Support your independent bookstores!!

I also got to talk with one of my best friends from high school, Shayne, yesterday. She told me that she comes online and reads my blog all the time but she hasn't signed up for MySpace because she is only online at work (a bank) and she's already lost her email account for, you know, non-banking emails (sorry, Shayne).

So Shayne can read my blogs but never respond. And that gives me a freedom like you wouldn't believe. But I won't abuse that. I will say, however, that yesterday on the phone Shayne said she refers to one of my relatives (I'm not saying who) as "the prancing pony." I told my dad, and he laughed like a crazy man.

PAPARAZZO SHOT

From E! Online News:

Photographer Brad Diaz was shot in the leg with a BB gun while standing in the street about 200 yards from a Malibu home where Britney Spears was a guest, authorities said. No official word on who fired the shot.

I did it. It was me. I confess. Interview me, please.

OK, maybe I wasn't actually there in person and pulled the trigger but it is my sincere belief that I have wished someone would shoot a paparazzi so many times and with so much conviction that I willed this incident into existence.

No need to thank me. It was my pleasure.

Really.

Up the Creek...with a paddle

Yesterday my dad and I went canoeing...canoing? How the heck is that word spelled? Anyhow, we went down a river in a canoe.

How far did we go? Fourteen miles, my friend, fourteen miles. And I had a blast. It took us about 4-1/2 hours and it was great. I knew for sure I would be sore by the end of it (or at least by the next day) but you know what? Not at all. Not sure why. I was tired, but no aches and/or pains. Even today I feel just as good as I did yesterday morning at this time.

Go figure.

I guess that's what happens when you are a model of physical fitness.

Atta Boy, Dane

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge Steve Martin fan (go ahead...name something he's done that I haven't seen....can't think of one, can ya?). I've been listening to his stand-up albums for as long as I've been able to listen without my parents finding out. But alas, Steve doesn't do a lot of stand-up anymore. So, about two years ago (I think) when I discovered Dane Cook's comedy, I declared him my new favorite stand-up (or at least one of them).

Dane's new CD/DVD Retaliation has just hit stores and it's only the 2nd comedy album ever to go higher than #5 on Billboard's album sales chart. It debuted at #4. The other album to break the top 5? Steve Martin's Wild and Crazy Guy. Can I pick 'em or can I pick 'em?

I haven't had the chance to get the new Dane Cook CD/DVD, I have only heard snippets, but if you're a fan of outrageous laugh-til-you-puke comedy, then I highly recommend Retaliation. You can thank me later. And all of you to whom I introduced Dane's first album, Harmful If Swallowed can testify that I know what I'm talking about (the Kool-Aid Man bit, for example).

It's the weekend. Go nuts, and buy a comedy CD. When was the last time you bought a CD that actually put you in a good mood and made you laugh? And while you're at it, go ahead and grab Wild and Crazy Guy, too. You know it's been too long since you gave it a listen.

See....

I told you I'd be out of commission for a few days.

I've been working hard and if you've paid any attention to the weather forecast then you know that it's been hot (almost 100 on more than one day) and humid. But I'm staying hydrated and coming home each night and crashing. That kind of work is good for the soul, I guess, but I will be ready to move on to Phase 2 soon.

Not that it hasn't been nice being here. Running into old friends and family has been great and spending so much time with my grandmother has been priceless. I interview her on an almost daily basis asking about the family, where she grew up, what she did when she was young, and even what kind of car they had (her brother had a Model T, how crazy is that?). She's seen a lot in her day.

In the meantime, finding the opportunity to hop online has been less-than-frequent (I bring up the fact that I am typing this after-hours in a real estate office as proof. It's eerily quiet and I am stuffing myself with free Gummi Bears). But rest assured I will keep you posted when I can and as things happen.

But hey, enough about me, how have you been? And after you tell me how you've been, step outside and get some fresh air. Sure it's hot and humid but in a few months as winter sets in, we'll be wishing it were warm once again. Enjoy it while it's here.

Pizza on You

You know what I think is cool? You can order pizza online with a credit card. But you know what would be cooler? If you, dear reader, got me pizza as a present by ordering online with your card and had it delivered to my address. I'm not picky. I like all kinds, so surprise me.

You have my address. And if you don't, just drop me a line.

I'll be waiting......Will anyone actually take me up on this? Who knows. But I'm willing to take that chance.

The 48 Hour Film Project

I had a chance to hook up with a cool group of people involved in this year's 48 Hour Film Project this weekend and had a blast, a blast I say! This is an annual nationwide (or actually worldwide) project and Chicago's weekend was this weekend (to see when it's coming to a city near you, check out the link above).

For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, here are the basics: You get a team of people together and all meet together on Friday night. At 6:55 pm you are assigned a genre of film you must make. Also, everyone is give a prop, character, and line of dialogue that must be somewhere in the film (these elements are all the same for every film, only the genre is different). Then at 7 the countdown begins and you have until Sunday at 7:30pm to write, film, edit, and turn in your 4-7 minute fully-produced film.

I saw an ad online for a group of people looking for others who'd like to help with their film and got in touch with Keith and the rest of the group from Hexxed Productions. I was there Friday to witness the drawing of the genre and the announcement of the elements and it was exciting. We figured there were about 20 different teams who signed up (one of them from Ft Wayne IN!).

The elements this year were as follows:

Character: J. Giordano, Detective
Prop: Measuring Tape
Line: "Take it back"

Also, since this year was the first year of the Project being in Chicago we also had to include somewhere in the film evidence that we shot in Chicago (anything from a landmark in the background to a Chicago phone book lying on a table). The genre category we drew was "Action/Adventure."

We were off to Keith's place where our small band gathered to work through the night (there were eight of us that comprised the entire cast and crew if I remember correctly). They had gotten together the night before to brainstorm possible ideas in every possible genre, so we had a good place to start from with our genre. We batted around ideas for a while and went with a story about a famous actress being chased by the paparazzi. After coming up with a basic plotline, we then had to write the script and storyboard the shots. Because our film included a character watching herself on TV, the first thing we had to do was film that show-within-a-show. We shot that and then finished writing the rest of the film.

By 6am Saturday morning we were ready to go. We shot all through the day and that evening we were off to edit, record ADR, and plan out any pick-up shots we still might need. I was even given the opportunity to direct a quick pick-up scene and was really pleased with what we got! I was there until about 1:30am until all that remained was the editing and we left Keith (and John) to do their magic.

It's such a weird feeling to be there during the whole shooting process and yet not know what the final puzzle will look like when all the pieces are together. You have an idea, but not much more without seeing it all cut together with music, etc.

I talked to Keith yesterday after he turned in our film and he sounded very excited about it. He seems to be pleased with the final product and I am stoked to see it. Some of them gathered ysterday to watch it, but I want to wait and see it for the first time on the big screen, which is also a little nerve-wracking (please, God, don't let me suck!).

For those of you in the Chicago area, there will be two screenings of the film this week on the silver screen. They split all of the entries into two groups; we are in Group A. The screenings are taking place at Landmark Centruy Centre Cinema, 282 N Clark St. Group A films are being shown at 7:00 on Tuesday night and 9:15 on Wednesday night (Group B is the opposite, at 9:15 and then at 7). Tickets are 8 bucks apiece (more info here), so come on out if you can!

By the end of the weekend, yes, I was worn out and tired but I was also inspired to do more. I came home and watched a bunch of things I had produced in the past and wished I had something new to edit.

Ya know, if you do something non-stop and it wears you out and by the end of the weekend you want to do more, then that's a pretty good sign you're doing what you love to do.

A Hard Laugh is Good to Find

I was able to go out tonight and see a sneak preview of the new Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson movie "Wedding Crashers" (yay for free passes!).

It was a great time. The film had the audience in non-stop laughter the entire time. It's been too long since I laughed this hard (and this often) at a movie. If you're a fan of movies like "Old School," "Anchorman," or "Meet the Parents" then you'll dig this one. If you go to the movies just for the plot and the cinematography, leave your deep-thinking scrutiny at the door. This movie is just trying to have fun, and I think it works.

I assume the purpose of sneak preview showings is to get some good buzz going about the film and in this case they have succeeded. Two thumbs up!

My Friend the Visionary

A couple of years ago my good buddy Aaron Marrs had an idea for a new type of business. He was so confident that the idea would work, he waited until he really knew me to divulge his secret...he didn't want anyone to take his idea and run with it.

It was indeed a great and novel idea, and if only we'd had the financial backing maybe we could have made something of it. But, alas, we didn't and, alas again, it was such a good idea someone else was bound to think of it.

This could have been us.

Woulda, coulda, shoulda, huh?

Oh well. If it makes any difference, I think Aaron's name for the business was better. But you know, that's between us.

Ugh

I think I have a stomach virus. Who wants to bring me soup? Or at least a burrito?