Last night I was looking for a notebook I had while I was in New York. I remembered I had copied down a monologue in it that I wanted to take a look at. What began as a simple Hey, where did I put that notebook routine turned into Wow, I just found another notebook I had totally forgotten about journey.
I don't think I ever realized how many words I'd put to paper in the last couple of years. Notebooks, journals, notepads, pocket memo books, you name it and it was filled with stand-up comedy ideas (some of them still made me laugh and others made me glad I had buried them in a notebook I'd forgotten about), short stories (including the original hand-written version of my short story, "Java"), and various quotes that struck me as humorous.
Still, I was struck by how much there was. Pages were literally filled with my familiar all-caps handwriting, all written with my trademark black-inked Pilot G-2 pen. Page after page after page after page. It seemed to just pour out of me, usually pretty easily.
It's been a while since I've written and the all-too-many empty pages at the back of each notebook only emphasizes the point.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
The Game
Before I moved to Pennsylvania, I was hanging out at my coffee shop of choice, Brewdaily's in Auburn, IN. Nathan, owner and all-around cool guy, was working behind the counter and asked me if I'd ever heard of the game "Settlers of Catan". I hadn't, and he tried to explain it to me. Sort of like Risk, sort of like Stratego, but not really either one.
After relocating to PA I was asked by my pals Ethan & Aubrey if I'd ever heard of "Settlers of Catan". I told them my friend Nathan had just asked me about it but I had never played. They said it was a pretty cool game and we should play sometime.
A few weeks later I was over visiting my friends Linford & Trish and while they gave me the tour of their house I noticed a board game on their game shelf. That's right. "Settlers of Catan." I remarked how suddenly I was hearing about this game everywhere and from everyone. Trish and Linford also raved about the game.
Later, I was back in Indiana visiting with my brother Ray and out of the blue he asked me if I'd ever played "Settlers of Catan". What was going on here? When did he hear about this game? I usually pride myself in being the first to find cool new games that I tell others about (The Great Dalmuti and You Don't Know Jack are two games in particular that I got to introduce to my friends in the past) and this time around everyone I knew seemed to be on the bandwagon BUT me. What happened? And how did it happen?
Last week Sarah and I went to Ethan & Aubrey's house and were pleased to find they were the new owners of "Settlers". They busted out the game, spread out the board and distributed the appropriate playing pieces. And then tragedy struck.
Ethan was the only one of us who'd played before and he had forgotten how to play. Sarah and I tried to build little Jenga-like towers with our playing pieces as Ethan scanned the rule book and Aubrey chilled on the sofa. The pressure of re-learning the game mixed with the embarrassment of forgetting the game proved to be too much for poor Ethan and we ended up giving up on the game and playing Dutch Blitz instead (another game I found everyone but me knew how to play).
This past weekend when Sarah and I were home for our reception we got to spend some time with Nathan and his wife Stacy (Sarah's sister, for those of you updating your flow chart as you read this). It wasn't long before Nathan broke out "Settlers of Catan" and Sarah and I were on our way to learning the game.
It was, to quote Dane Cook, a blasty-blast.
Relatively simple to learn yet deceptively cunning and strategic, Sarah and I both had a great time and Sarah actually ended up winning the game (much to Nathan's chagrin). We were officially hooked.
Last night Sarah and I were at Target shopping for Christmas trees when it dawned on us that we should get our own copy of "Settlers". The game isn't available in most stores like Target, K-Mart, Wal*Mart or other mart-type stores. I recalled Ethan had said the only place he was able to find it was a local comic book store called, obviously enough, The Comic Store. Despite the fact that Sarah and I were both risking countless cool points by stepping foot inside a comic book store, we knew it was a small price to pay for such a cool game.
We got to The Comic Store and began our search. There were two Comic Book Guys behind the counter that gave us a knowing look when we entered that screamed "STRANGERS!" I didn't wear glasses and my hair wasn't greasy and plastered to my head. I didn't have on a black jacket and my neck hair was well-groomed. And Sarah, well...let's face it. She's really hot. She definitely didn't belong in a comic book store. The only girls even close to being as sexy as her these guys had been around were drawn in pen and ink.
We began to weave in and out of the aisles as countless cartoon drawings of red-haired babes in bikinis and shirtless guys with pecs like cannonballs stared at us from the hundreds of boxes that lined the shelves. We saw Abe Lincoln as a super hero and even an issue of Howard the Duck. There were Jon Bon Jovi action figures and the red and blue neon signs in the windows added to the surreal mood.
I passed a guy in a wheelchair who was wearing a long green army coat and he leered at me from the corner of his eyes. He reminded me of Samuel L Jackson in Unbreakable.
Finally, we found the game shelves and it was pretty wild. There was a Sin City board game and even "Axis & Allies," a game my brother and I were into back in high school. And, of course, there was "Settlers of Catan". And the "Settlers of Catan" expansion pack. And "Seafarers of Catan" and its expansion pack. And 3 or 4 other versions of the "Catan" series. And their expansion packs. It was almost too much.
Which one should we get?
Should we get the one we already knew how to play and were familiar with or should we go with one of the others to add to the game the next time we play with friends? After an unsuccessful phone call to Trish and Linford to ask their advice (I had the wrong number in my phone) Sarah and I decided to go with STARFARERS OF CATAN. It was in the biggest and most impressive box, so much so that whenever I write the name I feel compelled to use all caps. STARFARERS OF CATAN.
This version was set in space and even came with spaceships and promises of fighting evil alien monsters. We were sold.
We approached the counter to pay and Sarah came across a plastic package of paints that also included 3-inch pewter wizard figurines to decorate. I could tell by Sarah's tone she was about to make a joke. "Hey what's this!" she exclaimed and the guy behind the counter looked up. Don't make the comic store guy angry! I thought to myself and my telepathy must have worked. Sarah switched gears and muttered, "You can paint little dudes." Inside I laughed my head off and am still laughing about it as I write this. You can paint little dudes.
We completed our purchase, zipped home, and busted out STARFARERS OF CATAN. And guess what?
It freakin' rocks.
We built spaceships, we colonized planets, we battled aliens--and each other--and it was great. Sarah told me she was never really much of a game player growing up and I've lived alone for so long it's been a while since I've had anyone to play board games with. Needless to say, we both enjoyed it.
So as you're gathered around the Thanksgiving table tomorrow trying to figure out just what in the world is in that Tupperware container and wondering if your family is as crazy as you think they are, trying to hold conversation while a TV blares a football game in the background, Sarah and I will be sprawled out on the floor drinking coffee in our pajamas, lost in the world of STARFARERS OF CATAN.
And maybe, just maybe, laughing about the little dudes you can paint.
After relocating to PA I was asked by my pals Ethan & Aubrey if I'd ever heard of "Settlers of Catan". I told them my friend Nathan had just asked me about it but I had never played. They said it was a pretty cool game and we should play sometime.
A few weeks later I was over visiting my friends Linford & Trish and while they gave me the tour of their house I noticed a board game on their game shelf. That's right. "Settlers of Catan." I remarked how suddenly I was hearing about this game everywhere and from everyone. Trish and Linford also raved about the game.
Later, I was back in Indiana visiting with my brother Ray and out of the blue he asked me if I'd ever played "Settlers of Catan". What was going on here? When did he hear about this game? I usually pride myself in being the first to find cool new games that I tell others about (The Great Dalmuti and You Don't Know Jack are two games in particular that I got to introduce to my friends in the past) and this time around everyone I knew seemed to be on the bandwagon BUT me. What happened? And how did it happen?
Last week Sarah and I went to Ethan & Aubrey's house and were pleased to find they were the new owners of "Settlers". They busted out the game, spread out the board and distributed the appropriate playing pieces. And then tragedy struck.
Ethan was the only one of us who'd played before and he had forgotten how to play. Sarah and I tried to build little Jenga-like towers with our playing pieces as Ethan scanned the rule book and Aubrey chilled on the sofa. The pressure of re-learning the game mixed with the embarrassment of forgetting the game proved to be too much for poor Ethan and we ended up giving up on the game and playing Dutch Blitz instead (another game I found everyone but me knew how to play).
This past weekend when Sarah and I were home for our reception we got to spend some time with Nathan and his wife Stacy (Sarah's sister, for those of you updating your flow chart as you read this). It wasn't long before Nathan broke out "Settlers of Catan" and Sarah and I were on our way to learning the game.
It was, to quote Dane Cook, a blasty-blast.
Relatively simple to learn yet deceptively cunning and strategic, Sarah and I both had a great time and Sarah actually ended up winning the game (much to Nathan's chagrin). We were officially hooked.
Last night Sarah and I were at Target shopping for Christmas trees when it dawned on us that we should get our own copy of "Settlers". The game isn't available in most stores like Target, K-Mart, Wal*Mart or other mart-type stores. I recalled Ethan had said the only place he was able to find it was a local comic book store called, obviously enough, The Comic Store. Despite the fact that Sarah and I were both risking countless cool points by stepping foot inside a comic book store, we knew it was a small price to pay for such a cool game.
We got to The Comic Store and began our search. There were two Comic Book Guys behind the counter that gave us a knowing look when we entered that screamed "STRANGERS!" I didn't wear glasses and my hair wasn't greasy and plastered to my head. I didn't have on a black jacket and my neck hair was well-groomed. And Sarah, well...let's face it. She's really hot. She definitely didn't belong in a comic book store. The only girls even close to being as sexy as her these guys had been around were drawn in pen and ink.
We began to weave in and out of the aisles as countless cartoon drawings of red-haired babes in bikinis and shirtless guys with pecs like cannonballs stared at us from the hundreds of boxes that lined the shelves. We saw Abe Lincoln as a super hero and even an issue of Howard the Duck. There were Jon Bon Jovi action figures and the red and blue neon signs in the windows added to the surreal mood.
I passed a guy in a wheelchair who was wearing a long green army coat and he leered at me from the corner of his eyes. He reminded me of Samuel L Jackson in Unbreakable.
Finally, we found the game shelves and it was pretty wild. There was a Sin City board game and even "Axis & Allies," a game my brother and I were into back in high school. And, of course, there was "Settlers of Catan". And the "Settlers of Catan" expansion pack. And "Seafarers of Catan" and its expansion pack. And 3 or 4 other versions of the "Catan" series. And their expansion packs. It was almost too much.
Which one should we get?
Should we get the one we already knew how to play and were familiar with or should we go with one of the others to add to the game the next time we play with friends? After an unsuccessful phone call to Trish and Linford to ask their advice (I had the wrong number in my phone) Sarah and I decided to go with STARFARERS OF CATAN. It was in the biggest and most impressive box, so much so that whenever I write the name I feel compelled to use all caps. STARFARERS OF CATAN.
This version was set in space and even came with spaceships and promises of fighting evil alien monsters. We were sold.
We approached the counter to pay and Sarah came across a plastic package of paints that also included 3-inch pewter wizard figurines to decorate. I could tell by Sarah's tone she was about to make a joke. "Hey what's this!" she exclaimed and the guy behind the counter looked up. Don't make the comic store guy angry! I thought to myself and my telepathy must have worked. Sarah switched gears and muttered, "You can paint little dudes." Inside I laughed my head off and am still laughing about it as I write this. You can paint little dudes.
We completed our purchase, zipped home, and busted out STARFARERS OF CATAN. And guess what?
It freakin' rocks.
We built spaceships, we colonized planets, we battled aliens--and each other--and it was great. Sarah told me she was never really much of a game player growing up and I've lived alone for so long it's been a while since I've had anyone to play board games with. Needless to say, we both enjoyed it.
So as you're gathered around the Thanksgiving table tomorrow trying to figure out just what in the world is in that Tupperware container and wondering if your family is as crazy as you think they are, trying to hold conversation while a TV blares a football game in the background, Sarah and I will be sprawled out on the floor drinking coffee in our pajamas, lost in the world of STARFARERS OF CATAN.
And maybe, just maybe, laughing about the little dudes you can paint.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
A Blog for Bob
When I was home in Indiana for our wedding reception this weekend I ran into my good pal Bob. He's been an avid reader of my blog for some time now, but he had a complaint. It seems that since Sarah and I have fallen for each other, my blogs have gone a little soft and become quite mushy.
I agree with Bob. Not that I mind the tone of my more recent blogs because, like the blogs before them, they are true to heart and reflect what was--and is--on my mind. But I am indeed aware that as a result, the humor and sarcasm seem to have taken a back seat.
I promised Bob that when I returned to PA I would make it up to him, even naming my next post "A Blog for Bob." I promised him a return of the humor he has come to look forward to (and subsequently miss).
I honestly thought about this during much of the drive back home from Indiana. As Sarah slept in the passenger seat beside me, I found myself wondering just what on earth I was going to blog about. Many of my more humorous blogs aren't necessarily me coming up with a silly idea; they're usually me reacting to an odd situation I've found myself in.
And I guess that's the problem. I haven't found myself in any weird or I-Can't-Believe-This-Is-Happening circumstances as of late. Or at least not that I can think of.
But now that I think of it, it IS really cold in my office. There are two ceiling vents that seem to blow air direct from the Arctic Circle and onto me on a regular basis. It's not as bad in the summer time because at least I can step outside to thaw out the icicles that have formed on my nose and/or ear lobes.
I mentioned this to someone here at work and was told there is nothing that can be done about it. The vents always blow cold air, always have and always will. The odd thing about it is that mine is the only area that seems to be this cold all the time. Part of me hopes my office is haunted. I want to fight a ghost.
The cold air hasn't stopped despite the fact that the weather has taken a chilly turn. I actually thought it would let up when the temperature dropped, but no such luck. Today I found myself balanced on a chair, taping two folders (that I had already taped together) to the vent directly above me in an attempt to divert the constant breeze that is blowing down my back.
It seems to have worked. For now. Either that, or the air has stopped blowing. Either way, I'm still hoping to fight a ghost. That would be cool.
So there you go, Bob. This entry probably won't end up being printed in The New Yorker or even Cracked magazine but if you've made it this far then chances are I'm on the right track to Ha-Ha Town.
I agree with Bob. Not that I mind the tone of my more recent blogs because, like the blogs before them, they are true to heart and reflect what was--and is--on my mind. But I am indeed aware that as a result, the humor and sarcasm seem to have taken a back seat.
I promised Bob that when I returned to PA I would make it up to him, even naming my next post "A Blog for Bob." I promised him a return of the humor he has come to look forward to (and subsequently miss).
I honestly thought about this during much of the drive back home from Indiana. As Sarah slept in the passenger seat beside me, I found myself wondering just what on earth I was going to blog about. Many of my more humorous blogs aren't necessarily me coming up with a silly idea; they're usually me reacting to an odd situation I've found myself in.
And I guess that's the problem. I haven't found myself in any weird or I-Can't-Believe-This-Is-Happening circumstances as of late. Or at least not that I can think of.
But now that I think of it, it IS really cold in my office. There are two ceiling vents that seem to blow air direct from the Arctic Circle and onto me on a regular basis. It's not as bad in the summer time because at least I can step outside to thaw out the icicles that have formed on my nose and/or ear lobes.
I mentioned this to someone here at work and was told there is nothing that can be done about it. The vents always blow cold air, always have and always will. The odd thing about it is that mine is the only area that seems to be this cold all the time. Part of me hopes my office is haunted. I want to fight a ghost.
The cold air hasn't stopped despite the fact that the weather has taken a chilly turn. I actually thought it would let up when the temperature dropped, but no such luck. Today I found myself balanced on a chair, taping two folders (that I had already taped together) to the vent directly above me in an attempt to divert the constant breeze that is blowing down my back.
It seems to have worked. For now. Either that, or the air has stopped blowing. Either way, I'm still hoping to fight a ghost. That would be cool.
So there you go, Bob. This entry probably won't end up being printed in The New Yorker or even Cracked magazine but if you've made it this far then chances are I'm on the right track to Ha-Ha Town.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Q.O.T.D. - Nov 13, 2007
"Light as a candle, stiff as a wick." - Sarah, referencing an old slumber party game while moving a candle
"This is so cool. We should have a booth. Let's by some wood." - Sarah, admiring the booth at the kitchen table in Aubrey's parents' house
"This is so cool. We should have a booth. Let's by some wood." - Sarah, admiring the booth at the kitchen table in Aubrey's parents' house
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Q.O.T.D. - Nov 12, 2007
"I think it tried to eat a penny."
"Nice."
"Don't tell your mom." - Sarah to me while vacuuming, because she once saw mom pick up a penny from the ground outside a restaurant
"Nice."
"Don't tell your mom." - Sarah to me while vacuuming, because she once saw mom pick up a penny from the ground outside a restaurant
Monday, November 12, 2007
Quotes of the Day
As many of you know, I always carry a little notebook in my back pocket to jot down any moments of comedic clarity that might run through my brain throughout the course of the day. Some time ago I also started keeping track of "quotes of the day," odd, random, or just funny statements uttered by whomever I happened to be with at the time.
I'm at work right now, but while I wait for the DVD I'm working on to finish burning I thought I would share some of those quotes with you. Enjoy!
"Give me back my baby!!" - screamed by a random woman on the streets of Garrett, Indiana
"This stupid thing. I'm gonna burn it. (pause) Will this burn?" - my brother Ray mad at his tape measure
"Tootsies don't pop. They only chew." - Sarah explaining why she prefers Blow Pops to Tootsie Pops
"I couldn't hear you. Sarah was talking to the fruit flies." - Stacy, during a game of poker
"I think of meat and milk a lot." - Kristi, on the way to the Creation Festival
"I'm not cool because I don't have an iPod."
"Then go buy one so you can buy your coolness." - Mindy and Kristi, in the car on the way to Creation
"I didn't think people snored like cartoons but turns out they do." - Sarah complaining about a loud neighboring camper at the Creation festival
"Man, I haven't blinked in a while." - Sarah, playing Bejeweled on the computer
"I never knew what a work ethic was. Neither of my parents worked." - Sarah on a Sunday afternoon
"I don't have a grudge against him because he sucks at his job. I have a grudge against him because he sucks as a person." - Kate, amid frustration
"You can if you're a genius, a super computer, or two albinos with a camera." - Fred, after being asked if you can upload videos to the Monsterpod website
"I didn't think you would eat it."
"It's a brownie, man." - Me and Ken at Outback Steakhouse
"I was going to say 'Look at the moon behind you' but it was a light bulb." - Sarah outside IHOP
"Actually, I played with eggs more than I did with dolls." - Sarah, walking past a store where everything is made of eggs
"I can tell by your writing you're sick." - Sarah, to me when I was ill
"What'cha not writing?"
"My name." - me and Ashlea, in an i-tickets meeting at work
I'm at work right now, but while I wait for the DVD I'm working on to finish burning I thought I would share some of those quotes with you. Enjoy!
"Give me back my baby!!" - screamed by a random woman on the streets of Garrett, Indiana
"This stupid thing. I'm gonna burn it. (pause) Will this burn?" - my brother Ray mad at his tape measure
"Tootsies don't pop. They only chew." - Sarah explaining why she prefers Blow Pops to Tootsie Pops
"I couldn't hear you. Sarah was talking to the fruit flies." - Stacy, during a game of poker
"I think of meat and milk a lot." - Kristi, on the way to the Creation Festival
"I'm not cool because I don't have an iPod."
"Then go buy one so you can buy your coolness." - Mindy and Kristi, in the car on the way to Creation
"I didn't think people snored like cartoons but turns out they do." - Sarah complaining about a loud neighboring camper at the Creation festival
"Man, I haven't blinked in a while." - Sarah, playing Bejeweled on the computer
"I never knew what a work ethic was. Neither of my parents worked." - Sarah on a Sunday afternoon
"I don't have a grudge against him because he sucks at his job. I have a grudge against him because he sucks as a person." - Kate, amid frustration
"You can if you're a genius, a super computer, or two albinos with a camera." - Fred, after being asked if you can upload videos to the Monsterpod website
"I didn't think you would eat it."
"It's a brownie, man." - Me and Ken at Outback Steakhouse
"I was going to say 'Look at the moon behind you' but it was a light bulb." - Sarah outside IHOP
"Actually, I played with eggs more than I did with dolls." - Sarah, walking past a store where everything is made of eggs
"I can tell by your writing you're sick." - Sarah, to me when I was ill
"What'cha not writing?"
"My name." - me and Ashlea, in an i-tickets meeting at work
Sunday, November 11, 2007
I Gots Ta Get To Readin'
In January I made a vow to myself to read more books this year than I did the previous year. I'm almost done with book number 19. Last year I read twenty-seven. Granted, a lot of that reading was while I was on the subway in New York and it's a bit more difficult to read while in transit now since I am the one doing the driving. (Just a bit, though.)
It doesn't look like I'll be able to do it, but I'm not taking this lying down (unless I'm reading, then I'll probably be lying down. You know what I mean. Shut up).
It doesn't look like I'll be able to do it, but I'm not taking this lying down (unless I'm reading, then I'll probably be lying down. You know what I mean. Shut up).
Friday, November 09, 2007
Tricked into Fun
If you want to get me to show up somewhere, then tell me there will be Guitar Hero and/or Karaoke Revolution. My buddies at work knew me well enough to use this to lure me right into a surprise wedding shower for Sarah and me. And it was great!
Every few weeks or so, I'll bring my PlayStation2 with me to work and a few of us will stay after hours to play Guitar Hero and Karaoke Revolution. It's always a lot of fun and usually around midnight we realize how long we've been there and pack up and head home.
A little over a month ago we planned our first post-Ed's-wedding Game Night. We were excited that Sarah would be able to join us and Wednesday I left work at 5:00 to pick up Sarah and the PS2. We got back to the station and walked upstairs and there stood the entire station staff. I'd only been gone about 20 minutes and in that short time the room was decked out with balloons, streamers, cake, presents, and food from Boston Market. They yelled "SURPRISE!" as we walked in and I called them all "jerks." They totally got me and I never suspected a thing!
It was a great time and it made Sarah and me feel all warm and gooey inside. It was like being home again, only this time Sarah was with me.
Halfway through the dinner, Sarah leaned over to me and whispered, "Do you think we'll still get to play Guitar Hero?"
Of course we would.
We opened presents and laughed and were reminded again of what great friends we have here. Soon people started to leave and others started to get antsy: they were ready for Guitar Hero, too. After some mingling and catching up, we were down to our core group of gamers and the festivities continued.
All in all, it was a great night.
I've worked in places before where they claim to have a "family" atmosphere or profess to be more of a family than a workplace, but here at WJTL it's actually true.
Every few weeks or so, I'll bring my PlayStation2 with me to work and a few of us will stay after hours to play Guitar Hero and Karaoke Revolution. It's always a lot of fun and usually around midnight we realize how long we've been there and pack up and head home.
A little over a month ago we planned our first post-Ed's-wedding Game Night. We were excited that Sarah would be able to join us and Wednesday I left work at 5:00 to pick up Sarah and the PS2. We got back to the station and walked upstairs and there stood the entire station staff. I'd only been gone about 20 minutes and in that short time the room was decked out with balloons, streamers, cake, presents, and food from Boston Market. They yelled "SURPRISE!" as we walked in and I called them all "jerks." They totally got me and I never suspected a thing!
It was a great time and it made Sarah and me feel all warm and gooey inside. It was like being home again, only this time Sarah was with me.
Halfway through the dinner, Sarah leaned over to me and whispered, "Do you think we'll still get to play Guitar Hero?"
Of course we would.
We opened presents and laughed and were reminded again of what great friends we have here. Soon people started to leave and others started to get antsy: they were ready for Guitar Hero, too. After some mingling and catching up, we were down to our core group of gamers and the festivities continued.
All in all, it was a great night.
I've worked in places before where they claim to have a "family" atmosphere or profess to be more of a family than a workplace, but here at WJTL it's actually true.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
A Little Better, but Just as Stupid
This morning I got up and couldn't feel my stomach. Meaning, it was upset all day yesterday but upon waking I didn't feel anything. My first thought was, "Am I better now?"
Sarah stirred and asked "How do you feel today?"
I sat up and felt pretty good. So, just to make sure, I punched myself in the gut. Hard. I winced. I wasn't better yet.
"That was dumb" was all I could say and then Sarah and I laughed.
Sarah stirred and asked "How do you feel today?"
I sat up and felt pretty good. So, just to make sure, I punched myself in the gut. Hard. I winced. I wasn't better yet.
"That was dumb" was all I could say and then Sarah and I laughed.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Ugh
Yesterday Sarah and I woke up to do our daily workout and I couldn't make it all the way through. Dizzy, light-headed, and just an in-general feeling of being drained. I pontificated on whether or not I was getting sick.
Last night we got home from the movies ("Back to the Future"!) and not long after getting back to the apartment I started feeling ill in my stomach. Almost like a light version of the stomach flu. I woke up a couple of times in the night to smell up the bathroom and when I woke up the woozy feeling was still there.
I came in to work today and smelled up the bathroom here a few times (I don't discriminate) and am now considering just going home early. Ugh.
Stupid imperfect body.
Last night we got home from the movies ("Back to the Future"!) and not long after getting back to the apartment I started feeling ill in my stomach. Almost like a light version of the stomach flu. I woke up a couple of times in the night to smell up the bathroom and when I woke up the woozy feeling was still there.
I came in to work today and smelled up the bathroom here a few times (I don't discriminate) and am now considering just going home early. Ugh.
Stupid imperfect body.
Monday, November 05, 2007
My Scientific Discovery
You know those times when you just wake up and you're laying there thinking about nothing in general and then you have an idea you think is BRILLIANT but then a few hours later you realize you were still half-asleep and your idea was, in all actuality, stupid?
Here was my awesome idea: Radio waves are everywhere. Radio stations are sending out all these signals and they're all over the place. I then wondered how the radio waves from all the radio (and TV) stations affected our bodies. And sometimes you come across people who are sick all of the time for no apparent reason. Well, what if it's the radio waves that are affecting their bodies and making them sick?! And what if I just cured someone? Has no one else ever thought of this? I'm a scientific genius!!
I remember laying there and priding myself in being such a deep thinker and if I have these awesome ideas in the morning by just laying there, maybe that's how I should start every day and who knows what story and movie ideas I would come up with.
But now that it's later and I'm pretty much fully awake I realize I should keep most of my half-asleep revelations to myself.
Here was my awesome idea: Radio waves are everywhere. Radio stations are sending out all these signals and they're all over the place. I then wondered how the radio waves from all the radio (and TV) stations affected our bodies. And sometimes you come across people who are sick all of the time for no apparent reason. Well, what if it's the radio waves that are affecting their bodies and making them sick?! And what if I just cured someone? Has no one else ever thought of this? I'm a scientific genius!!
I remember laying there and priding myself in being such a deep thinker and if I have these awesome ideas in the morning by just laying there, maybe that's how I should start every day and who knows what story and movie ideas I would come up with.
But now that it's later and I'm pretty much fully awake I realize I should keep most of my half-asleep revelations to myself.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
A Small Wedding
As I sat down to write this I turned my iPod on "shuffle" to supply a little background music. Appropriately the first song that came on was "L-O-V-E" by Nat King Cole. And really, right now that's about the only thing that's been on my mind.
Sarah and I have been married for just over a week now and it's been amazing. Our wedding ceremony was pretty simple by most modern standards and I wouldn't have changed a thing. It was just Sarah and me on the beach in Florida with the preacher and a guy taking pictures.
It seems wedding ceremonies have become so complex and involved, it's become very easy to focus on all of the non-essentials: Renting the church, coordinating colors with bridesmaids' dresses, choosing music, deciding who to -- and not to -- invite, decorating, who will sing which song, whose niece will be the flower girl, will we take communion and light a unity candle, coordinating who walks down the aisle to which music cue, wondering if everyone will be able to fly in and get a hotel, buying and booking flowers, photos, videos, and commemorative mugs.
All that and more.
Needless to say, people in the wedding business are making a good chunk of change off of America In Love.
We go through such a rigmarole, instead of two people pledging love to one another the process transforms us into mini-producers trying to put together the perfect performance that will outdo anything we've seen, will be more memorable than the next couple's ceremony, and will also be pulled off without a hitch.
Sarah and I decided to approach it all from a different angle entirely. We wanted to skip all the flair and go straight to what was important to us: Pledging never-ending love to one another. Let's be honest. Ten years down the road no one but Sarah and I will care -- or remember -- what we did or didn't do for the ceremony and we agreed we'd much rather look back and remember the day not as a big blur that cost us thousands with nothing to show for it but a few fancy photos sitting in an album no one ever looks at (how about we save that money to put toward our future together instead?), but we'll remember October 26 2007 as the day we made a promise to each other (and God) that this was it.
When Brewster, my buddy who officiated the wedding, asked what kind of ceremony-on-the-beach we wanted it felt great to be up-front about it without having to impress anyone with our "wedding show". "Nothing fancy," we told him, "We want this day to be about what it's supposed to be about."
And it was good.
After the ceremony Sarah and I ran into the ocean, wedding clothes and all. Why did we decide to do such a thing? For no other reason except we wanted to. And why not? I can't think of a better way to start a great adventure. And admit it. It looked fun and you wish you jumped in the ocean, too.
Sarah and I have been married for just over a week now and it's been amazing. Our wedding ceremony was pretty simple by most modern standards and I wouldn't have changed a thing. It was just Sarah and me on the beach in Florida with the preacher and a guy taking pictures.
It seems wedding ceremonies have become so complex and involved, it's become very easy to focus on all of the non-essentials: Renting the church, coordinating colors with bridesmaids' dresses, choosing music, deciding who to -- and not to -- invite, decorating, who will sing which song, whose niece will be the flower girl, will we take communion and light a unity candle, coordinating who walks down the aisle to which music cue, wondering if everyone will be able to fly in and get a hotel, buying and booking flowers, photos, videos, and commemorative mugs.
All that and more.
Needless to say, people in the wedding business are making a good chunk of change off of America In Love.
We go through such a rigmarole, instead of two people pledging love to one another the process transforms us into mini-producers trying to put together the perfect performance that will outdo anything we've seen, will be more memorable than the next couple's ceremony, and will also be pulled off without a hitch.
Sarah and I decided to approach it all from a different angle entirely. We wanted to skip all the flair and go straight to what was important to us: Pledging never-ending love to one another. Let's be honest. Ten years down the road no one but Sarah and I will care -- or remember -- what we did or didn't do for the ceremony and we agreed we'd much rather look back and remember the day not as a big blur that cost us thousands with nothing to show for it but a few fancy photos sitting in an album no one ever looks at (how about we save that money to put toward our future together instead?), but we'll remember October 26 2007 as the day we made a promise to each other (and God) that this was it.
When Brewster, my buddy who officiated the wedding, asked what kind of ceremony-on-the-beach we wanted it felt great to be up-front about it without having to impress anyone with our "wedding show". "Nothing fancy," we told him, "We want this day to be about what it's supposed to be about."
And it was good.
After the ceremony Sarah and I ran into the ocean, wedding clothes and all. Why did we decide to do such a thing? For no other reason except we wanted to. And why not? I can't think of a better way to start a great adventure. And admit it. It looked fun and you wish you jumped in the ocean, too.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
"The Woodsman"
I saw a movie tonight that did what every good movie does: It made me think.
I recall reading a review for The Woodsman when it first came out last year. The reviewer liked it but, because the content was so touchy, predicted it wouldn't do big business in the box office. The reviewer was right. I never heard anything about it since but tucked it away in the back of my head as something I'd like to see sometime.
I'll do my best to not reveal any major plot points or give anything away, so continue reading with no fear of spoilers.
Kevin Bacon stars as Walter, a man returning to society after spending some time away. Walter was a bad man and did bad things. He's haunted by his past and his actions. He knows what he did was wrong and wants desperately to change as he tries to fit back in. More than once he asks his analyst, pleads, "When will I be normal."
Unlike many movies, Walter doesn't (and can't) change overnight. Walter struggles against temptations that are right outside his front door...literally. He wants to change...he really does. It's hard to sympathize with Walter too much, however, because we know what he's done in the past and his crime is indeed a horrible one. Is it right to empathize with someone who's done something so wrong? If someone commits what can very easily be considered an unforgivable sin, does it make you just as bad as the criminal if you forgive him? Should we really forgive those who trespass against us? Can we?
At one point in the film Walter finds himself giving in...we see him giving in...and I found myself pulling for him, hoping that he wouldn't do it...I really wanted Walter to stay strong and found myself getting angry at the fact that Walter was failing. Again. And then, at the last possible second there is a revelation that changes the direction and flow. It's not one of those twists-for-sake-of-a-twist that is so popular in movies now but a moment of clarity for Walter that may not have come if he wasn't tested.
I'm not trying to annoy you with my vague details, but one of the things I liked so much about the film was that I knew very little about it going in, so I never knew what to expect or what was coming next. I will say this: One doesn't walk away from the film with the false idea that every bad person will change their ways. But it hints at the fact that they can.
I recall reading a review for The Woodsman when it first came out last year. The reviewer liked it but, because the content was so touchy, predicted it wouldn't do big business in the box office. The reviewer was right. I never heard anything about it since but tucked it away in the back of my head as something I'd like to see sometime.
I'll do my best to not reveal any major plot points or give anything away, so continue reading with no fear of spoilers.
Kevin Bacon stars as Walter, a man returning to society after spending some time away. Walter was a bad man and did bad things. He's haunted by his past and his actions. He knows what he did was wrong and wants desperately to change as he tries to fit back in. More than once he asks his analyst, pleads, "When will I be normal."
Unlike many movies, Walter doesn't (and can't) change overnight. Walter struggles against temptations that are right outside his front door...literally. He wants to change...he really does. It's hard to sympathize with Walter too much, however, because we know what he's done in the past and his crime is indeed a horrible one. Is it right to empathize with someone who's done something so wrong? If someone commits what can very easily be considered an unforgivable sin, does it make you just as bad as the criminal if you forgive him? Should we really forgive those who trespass against us? Can we?
At one point in the film Walter finds himself giving in...we see him giving in...and I found myself pulling for him, hoping that he wouldn't do it...I really wanted Walter to stay strong and found myself getting angry at the fact that Walter was failing. Again. And then, at the last possible second there is a revelation that changes the direction and flow. It's not one of those twists-for-sake-of-a-twist that is so popular in movies now but a moment of clarity for Walter that may not have come if he wasn't tested.
I'm not trying to annoy you with my vague details, but one of the things I liked so much about the film was that I knew very little about it going in, so I never knew what to expect or what was coming next. I will say this: One doesn't walk away from the film with the false idea that every bad person will change their ways. But it hints at the fact that they can.
Friday, October 12, 2007
In the Air
I walked outside this morning and could smell it. For the first time this year, it smells like fall. There's nothing like it and it's amazing. I can't quite put my finger on what it is exactly; it's a little cooler, the air is crisp, and it makes me think of long-sleeved sweatshirts and high school football games. It makes me want to go on a Goonie adventure or sit under a tree with a notebook.
In reality I probably won't do either one, but I still like the feeling it brings.
In reality I probably won't do either one, but I still like the feeling it brings.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
All Blech, No Bite (Yet)
As regular readers of my blog know, a couple of weeks ago there was a huge book sale put on by the Lancaster Public Library and I took full advantage. I've already read and finished one of my finds (The Mothman Prophecies) and was excited to begin my next book. I am halfway through Peter Benchley's Jaws.
The film version of the book came out in (I believe) 1975 and I blame it for my fear of sharks that is still with me to this day. I'd love to go scuba diving someday but know that in the back of my mind, no matter how beautiful the underwater scenery, I am going to be thinking shark, shark, look for the sharks, shark, shark, they're sneaky, they want to eat you, shark, shark, shark.
And part of the fun of watching shark movies and "Shark Week" is facing that fear (kind of but not really) and learning more about it, getting that little adrenaline rush that comes with a good scare. Needless to say I was excited to begin Jaws. I wondered if it would keep me up at night or if I would find myself going to the bathroom as quickly as possible (like I did when I was a kid) because I was sure a little tiny shark was going to find its way into the sewer, up the pipe, and chew my butt off.
Before I go any further, let me just say that I'm not finished with Jaws yet and so I realize I have no business complaining or criticizing. I can hear you now... "Finish the book before you complain about it!!!" I know, I know, I'm not ignorant of that fact and it's more than valid. I recognize that.
But until I finish it, I'm going to do a bit of griping.
There's hardly a shark in it so far. In fact, the shark has only appeared twice and only for a total of about 10 pages (hey everyone, look at me complaining about a book that came out 30 years ago...am I on the cutting edge or what?). Come on!! Scare me!!! Please!! Scare me!!
But that's not it. The story -- so far -- isn't about Chief Brody and his hunt for the shark that is terrorizing his community. It's about his wife, how unhappy she is, how bored she is, how miserable her life is, and how she ends up having an affair with Hooper, the shark expert (the Richard Dreyfus character in the movie).
What the freak is that???
This may be the first time that a movie was made based on a book, and the movie ended up being better. Not that they changed much or "Hollywood"-ed it, but they pretty much left out the whole affair scenario. And that's fine with me.
Maybe this blog ends up sounding ultra-conservative -- and I think most people who know me probably wouldn't categorize me as such -- but it's just not what I signed up for. I've never been a big fan of books or movies that have the characters fooling around on their significant others (American Beauty, The Last Kiss). That's probably the thing I feel the strongest personal conviction about and I'm sure the fact that I'm about to be married doesn't help much.
I don't know. I thought I was going to get a scary shark book and instead I ended up with some lame soap opera.
I'll let you know how it ends.
Two hours later
I finished it. The last fifty pages were exciting as the trio of men faced off against the shark. If only the rest of the book had been that way.
How Benchley resolves the whole Brody's-wife-has-an-affair-with-Hooper scenario is ridiculous. While Brody, Hooper, and Quint are on the boat chasing the shark, one of the other town characters pays a visit to Mrs Brody out of the blue and confesses his love for her. I'm still wondering where this came from. As a result of this almost-laughable-because-it-was-so-improbable plot twist, Mrs Brody decides that her life is perfect and fine and she loves her husband after all and her fling with Hooper was just sex and nothing else.
And I guess it's good she came to that conclusion because on the next page Hooper is eaten by the shark.
Convenient, huh? And by "convenient" I mean "stupid".
The film version of the book came out in (I believe) 1975 and I blame it for my fear of sharks that is still with me to this day. I'd love to go scuba diving someday but know that in the back of my mind, no matter how beautiful the underwater scenery, I am going to be thinking shark, shark, look for the sharks, shark, shark, they're sneaky, they want to eat you, shark, shark, shark.
And part of the fun of watching shark movies and "Shark Week" is facing that fear (kind of but not really) and learning more about it, getting that little adrenaline rush that comes with a good scare. Needless to say I was excited to begin Jaws. I wondered if it would keep me up at night or if I would find myself going to the bathroom as quickly as possible (like I did when I was a kid) because I was sure a little tiny shark was going to find its way into the sewer, up the pipe, and chew my butt off.
Before I go any further, let me just say that I'm not finished with Jaws yet and so I realize I have no business complaining or criticizing. I can hear you now... "Finish the book before you complain about it!!!" I know, I know, I'm not ignorant of that fact and it's more than valid. I recognize that.
But until I finish it, I'm going to do a bit of griping.
There's hardly a shark in it so far. In fact, the shark has only appeared twice and only for a total of about 10 pages (hey everyone, look at me complaining about a book that came out 30 years ago...am I on the cutting edge or what?). Come on!! Scare me!!! Please!! Scare me!!
But that's not it. The story -- so far -- isn't about Chief Brody and his hunt for the shark that is terrorizing his community. It's about his wife, how unhappy she is, how bored she is, how miserable her life is, and how she ends up having an affair with Hooper, the shark expert (the Richard Dreyfus character in the movie).
What the freak is that???
This may be the first time that a movie was made based on a book, and the movie ended up being better. Not that they changed much or "Hollywood"-ed it, but they pretty much left out the whole affair scenario. And that's fine with me.
Maybe this blog ends up sounding ultra-conservative -- and I think most people who know me probably wouldn't categorize me as such -- but it's just not what I signed up for. I've never been a big fan of books or movies that have the characters fooling around on their significant others (American Beauty, The Last Kiss). That's probably the thing I feel the strongest personal conviction about and I'm sure the fact that I'm about to be married doesn't help much.
I don't know. I thought I was going to get a scary shark book and instead I ended up with some lame soap opera.
I'll let you know how it ends.
Two hours later
I finished it. The last fifty pages were exciting as the trio of men faced off against the shark. If only the rest of the book had been that way.
How Benchley resolves the whole Brody's-wife-has-an-affair-with-Hooper scenario is ridiculous. While Brody, Hooper, and Quint are on the boat chasing the shark, one of the other town characters pays a visit to Mrs Brody out of the blue and confesses his love for her. I'm still wondering where this came from. As a result of this almost-laughable-because-it-was-so-improbable plot twist, Mrs Brody decides that her life is perfect and fine and she loves her husband after all and her fling with Hooper was just sex and nothing else.
And I guess it's good she came to that conclusion because on the next page Hooper is eaten by the shark.
Convenient, huh? And by "convenient" I mean "stupid".
Friday, September 28, 2007
A Kick in the Pants
About a week and a half ago Sarah was in town and I have yet to blog about it. Why? To tell you the truth it seems a little intimidating. Mostly because there's so much to write. We did so much, I experienced so much, I felt so much, I know that once I start writing it's going to be quite the tome and I haven't been able to bring myself to tackle the sequel to "War and Peace" (not that I see our relationship as "War and Peace", quite the opposite, but that's the longest book I could think of off-hand. Maybe I should have used "The Borthers Karamazov").
But I digress. Big time.
While Sarah was here we went up to New York City for the day. Her friend Courtney was going to be in town visiting from Scotland and so we hopped on a train and made the journey. We got off the train at Penn Station in the middle of Manhattan. Because we were only a couple of blocks from the improv theater I was part of while I lived in the city we decided to stop by the National Comedy Theatre as we made our way to Central Park and see if anybody was home.
I had so much fun performing at NCT and the people there are like family to me and, in many ways, they're like home. If you've read any of my old blogs you're used to me gushing about them. When I found I would be returning to Pennsylvania I was excited because I had visions in my head of returning to NYC on the weekends to perform.
It hasn't happened yet.
I'll try to explain why, but I'm not a Master Wordsmith so bear with me.
To be honest, I hadn't felt that tug, that pull, to get back to the city. I just didn't have the motivation. And I think it's because of my job.
Nothing against my job and nothing against NCT, but I'm doing what I love to do at WJTL. I'm making movies. I'm filming, editing, tweaking, writing, storyboarding...I love it. And I think because I have that creative outlet I was missing that hunger to perform I might have if I had a run-of-the-mill 9 to 5 office job. Does that make sense? Because my creativity had an outlet, I never had a chance, I never built up that yearning, to perform.
Not that I didn't want to. I just didn't have that drive. I don't know if I'm correctly explaining myself or not, but I don't have the energy to go back and do it better.
But all that changed last week.
As soon as Sarah and I stepped in front of the theatre, it was back. I could feel the energy and the excitement, and when I saw my friend JT inside it was a little overwhelming. I knew I had been away too long.
Kramer and Jeff were also there and the three of them were downstairs in the green room putting down new flooring. It immediately took me back to my time there, painting the green room, putting all this work into the theatre we loved so much and I missed it.
It was so good seeing those guys again, I wished I would have seen some of the rest of the gang too, and that fire is back. I can't wait to get back there.
And you know the best part of it? Sarah was happy to be there, too. After we left she was so excited for me. It was encouraging and such a great feeling (and quite frankly, a new feeling for me) to be with someone who was genuinely supportive and eager for me to get back there. Sarah told me she wants to go back soon, and often, so she can watch me in the shows.
I didn't have that support and encouragement in my last relationship. And now that I do, I can't believe I lasted as long as I did without it.
But I digress. Big time.
While Sarah was here we went up to New York City for the day. Her friend Courtney was going to be in town visiting from Scotland and so we hopped on a train and made the journey. We got off the train at Penn Station in the middle of Manhattan. Because we were only a couple of blocks from the improv theater I was part of while I lived in the city we decided to stop by the National Comedy Theatre as we made our way to Central Park and see if anybody was home.
I had so much fun performing at NCT and the people there are like family to me and, in many ways, they're like home. If you've read any of my old blogs you're used to me gushing about them. When I found I would be returning to Pennsylvania I was excited because I had visions in my head of returning to NYC on the weekends to perform.
It hasn't happened yet.
I'll try to explain why, but I'm not a Master Wordsmith so bear with me.
To be honest, I hadn't felt that tug, that pull, to get back to the city. I just didn't have the motivation. And I think it's because of my job.
Nothing against my job and nothing against NCT, but I'm doing what I love to do at WJTL. I'm making movies. I'm filming, editing, tweaking, writing, storyboarding...I love it. And I think because I have that creative outlet I was missing that hunger to perform I might have if I had a run-of-the-mill 9 to 5 office job. Does that make sense? Because my creativity had an outlet, I never had a chance, I never built up that yearning, to perform.
Not that I didn't want to. I just didn't have that drive. I don't know if I'm correctly explaining myself or not, but I don't have the energy to go back and do it better.
But all that changed last week.
As soon as Sarah and I stepped in front of the theatre, it was back. I could feel the energy and the excitement, and when I saw my friend JT inside it was a little overwhelming. I knew I had been away too long.
Kramer and Jeff were also there and the three of them were downstairs in the green room putting down new flooring. It immediately took me back to my time there, painting the green room, putting all this work into the theatre we loved so much and I missed it.
It was so good seeing those guys again, I wished I would have seen some of the rest of the gang too, and that fire is back. I can't wait to get back there.
And you know the best part of it? Sarah was happy to be there, too. After we left she was so excited for me. It was encouraging and such a great feeling (and quite frankly, a new feeling for me) to be with someone who was genuinely supportive and eager for me to get back there. Sarah told me she wants to go back soon, and often, so she can watch me in the shows.
I didn't have that support and encouragement in my last relationship. And now that I do, I can't believe I lasted as long as I did without it.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Books, books, books
My friend Trish gave me the heads up on a huge book sale going on this week and as someone who likes to read but doesn't like to spend a lot of money, I was really grateful. Twice a year the Lancaster library system holds this huge book sale to get some of the books off their shelves and raise some money at the same time. The sale has gotten so big they now have to hold it in a huge skating rink. It began yesterday morning at 9am. I got there about a quarter after the hour and COULDN'T BELIEVE how jam-packed it was. I had to park in the fourth overflow parking area. I was excited to see so many people there and at the same time really shocked at how many people there were.
The rink was divided into two basic sections. In one half were the newer books (for 1-3 dollars apiece) and the other books were all a dollar each for hardcover and 50 cents for paperbacks. There were so many people there it was often times hard to move and, I'm sorry, the Amish guys in attendance gave me a really bad headache with their overpowering body odor. I'm not even trying to be funny. For real. They smelled really bad. So bad that I left earlier than I had intended. That's not right and the smell coming off of them was anything but godly. Come on, Amish. You ride in cars. You often use cell phones. You shop at Wal-Mart. Do you honestly think God's going to be upset if you grab some Speed Stick? (It's not like I'm asking you to undergo the Axe effect or anything)
I returned this afternoon for a bit and there were significantly fewer books. And also significantly fewer people. I was able to browse freely and a little more comfortably. Tomorrow (the last day of the sale) everything is half off but I don't think I'm going to brave the crowds again. I ended up spending about 20 bucks for 30 books so all in all I feel like I did well. I mostly bought some classics I never read but felt I probably should have (such as Melville, Haley, Shelley, Orwell, and Dumas).
I've been seriously slacking off in my reading habits this year so far and this was just the jump start I needed to get my nose back in some books.
The rink was divided into two basic sections. In one half were the newer books (for 1-3 dollars apiece) and the other books were all a dollar each for hardcover and 50 cents for paperbacks. There were so many people there it was often times hard to move and, I'm sorry, the Amish guys in attendance gave me a really bad headache with their overpowering body odor. I'm not even trying to be funny. For real. They smelled really bad. So bad that I left earlier than I had intended. That's not right and the smell coming off of them was anything but godly. Come on, Amish. You ride in cars. You often use cell phones. You shop at Wal-Mart. Do you honestly think God's going to be upset if you grab some Speed Stick? (It's not like I'm asking you to undergo the Axe effect or anything)
I returned this afternoon for a bit and there were significantly fewer books. And also significantly fewer people. I was able to browse freely and a little more comfortably. Tomorrow (the last day of the sale) everything is half off but I don't think I'm going to brave the crowds again. I ended up spending about 20 bucks for 30 books so all in all I feel like I did well. I mostly bought some classics I never read but felt I probably should have (such as Melville, Haley, Shelley, Orwell, and Dumas).
I've been seriously slacking off in my reading habits this year so far and this was just the jump start I needed to get my nose back in some books.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Temptation
I went to Costco today and I left the building a better man.
As I was pushing my cart through the warehouse's aisles, I of course made sure to swing by the DVD section. Not that I was looking for anything in specific but if you know me then you know I likes my DVDs. A few things caught my eye and a few were so interesting I had to pick them up and give them further examination (the first two seasons of "The Muppet Show" and the M. Night Shyamalan 2-pack). But it was very easy for me to put them back on the shelf and continue my shopping.
I'm going to be getting married soon and I need to be a little wiser with how I spend my money.
And then I saw it.
The Saturday Night Live 10-pack. That's right. Ten DVDs featuring the Best of Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Will Ferrell, Christopher Walken, and--oh snap--Steve Martin. Depending on where you go, these DVDs are usually available for anywhere from $9.99 to $14.99 apiece. This convenient box set was selling for $47.
I mean come on, that's a great deal, right? I slowly put the DVDs back on the shelf and continued on my way.
And a few minutes later I returned. I slowed down to a crawl and did a drive-by second-looking. I didn't stop. I kept going.
I snaked in and out of the aisles until I was satisfied with the items in my cart and then made my way back to the DVD section for a third time. Again, my cart did not stop, but holy schnikeys I wanted to.
I made my way back to the front, paid, and made it out to the parking lot. I called Sarah immediately to brag about how strong I was.
Nice try, SNL. Close. Very close. But no cigar.
As I was pushing my cart through the warehouse's aisles, I of course made sure to swing by the DVD section. Not that I was looking for anything in specific but if you know me then you know I likes my DVDs. A few things caught my eye and a few were so interesting I had to pick them up and give them further examination (the first two seasons of "The Muppet Show" and the M. Night Shyamalan 2-pack). But it was very easy for me to put them back on the shelf and continue my shopping.
I'm going to be getting married soon and I need to be a little wiser with how I spend my money.
And then I saw it.
The Saturday Night Live 10-pack. That's right. Ten DVDs featuring the Best of Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Will Ferrell, Christopher Walken, and--oh snap--Steve Martin. Depending on where you go, these DVDs are usually available for anywhere from $9.99 to $14.99 apiece. This convenient box set was selling for $47.
I mean come on, that's a great deal, right? I slowly put the DVDs back on the shelf and continued on my way.
And a few minutes later I returned. I slowed down to a crawl and did a drive-by second-looking. I didn't stop. I kept going.
I snaked in and out of the aisles until I was satisfied with the items in my cart and then made my way back to the DVD section for a third time. Again, my cart did not stop, but holy schnikeys I wanted to.
I made my way back to the front, paid, and made it out to the parking lot. I called Sarah immediately to brag about how strong I was.
Nice try, SNL. Close. Very close. But no cigar.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Because
Sometimes I make myself laugh. I hope that doesn't sound cocky or anything. It's just that often times my mouth's filter isn't turned on and I say things that I don't know I'm going to say until they're said. Does that make any sense? Sometimes I'm embarrassed by what I say but more often that not it's pointless and trite and just kind of dissipates in the air like a barely noticeable scent wafting away. But whatever it is, it's always a surprise. I'm sure there's medication or some sort of self-discipline for this behavior but so far I've neglected to look further into it.
Today I was giving Ann a hard time in the office, mostly because she's fun to make laugh. I can see sometimes the determination in her face, having decided in her head that she's not going to laugh. And so of course, I have to make her laugh.
Today it took me a few minutes but I finally got a nice big laugh out of her and I felt I had accomplished something. And then I surprised myself. I proclaimed to Ann, loud enough for the others around to hear, "I'm just joking with you, Ann. I tease because I tolerate."
And then I laughed at myself.
Today I was giving Ann a hard time in the office, mostly because she's fun to make laugh. I can see sometimes the determination in her face, having decided in her head that she's not going to laugh. And so of course, I have to make her laugh.
Today it took me a few minutes but I finally got a nice big laugh out of her and I felt I had accomplished something. And then I surprised myself. I proclaimed to Ann, loud enough for the others around to hear, "I'm just joking with you, Ann. I tease because I tolerate."
And then I laughed at myself.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
The Big Costco Blog
I know you were all waiting eagerly to hear about my adventures at Costco this evening (as promised in my previous blog). What sort of characters did I run into? What amusing anecdotes did I walk away with? What hidden gems did I discover at my local discount warehouse?
Well, I didn't go tonight. Sorry.
But I won't leave you empty-handed; that's not who I am. I wouldn't think of leaving you with nothing, and so I'll share this quick amusing story with you:
A couple of weeks ago Ann and I were going to HersheyPark for a WJTL event. On the way there we passed a gas station that had a huge sign advertising
Well, I didn't go tonight. Sorry.
But I won't leave you empty-handed; that's not who I am. I wouldn't think of leaving you with nothing, and so I'll share this quick amusing story with you:
A couple of weeks ago Ann and I were going to HersheyPark for a WJTL event. On the way there we passed a gas station that had a huge sign advertising
FRESH DONUTS
IN TWO WEEKS
Yea, I know. I think the word you're looking for is "Huh?"
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