Eminem Predicts the Future

2000: Eminem releases The Marshall Mathers LP. It contains the song "The Real Slim Shady" which includes the lyrics "My bum is on your lips. My bum is on your lips."

2009: Sacha Baron Cohen's Bruno makes it happen.

Cynthia Nixon's "Gay" Marriage

Dear Cynthia,

It's not a gay marriage if you marry a dude.

Love,

Ed

Too Good to Recap

Sarah and I had a GREAT weekend this weekend...so good, in fact, that trying to sum up everything in a blog is somewhat intimidating because I know I won't do the weekend justice. So, rather than trying to capture the magic of the details in convenient paragraph form, I'll list off the highlights in even-more-convenient list form.

FRIDAY

• 1:00 pm - Our friend Ashlea drops us off at the train station in Lancaster PA


• 1:30 pm - The crowded train leaves for New York City


• 2:00 pm - The guy sitting next to me gets off the train and Sarah and I are able to sit together


• 5:30 pm - Sarah and I arrive in NYC's Penn Station on 34th Street. We make our way to the 1 subway train to go check in at our downtown hotel


• 6:00 pm - We check in to the Marriott in the Wall Street District and drop off our bags in our 19th-floor room


• 6:01 pm - We leave the room to head to the National Comedy Theatre


• 6:02 pm - While swinging my backpack over my shoulder inside the elevator, it swipes the control panel and hits all the buttons. A fancy schmancy old white lady is not amused as we stop on every floor on the way down.


• 6:30 pm - I am dismayed to find that the pizza shop on the corner of 36th and 8th is now a T-Mobile store


• 6:35 pm - Sarah and I arrive at NCT. I am giddy with excitement to see the old gang again, including Adi, JT, Cohen, Kevin, Dan, and Paulie. I also meet Dave and Jen, cast members who joined after I left in 2006. After catching up and introducing everyone to Sarah, we head down to the green room to prepare for the first of two improvisational comedy shows of the night. Sarah and Adi find seats together and wait for the 7:30 show to begin.


• 7:30 pm - The first show begins. I am billed as Ed "One Night Only" Placencia. Although I was initially nervous about not performing on the NCT stage in 2-1/2 years, once I'm up there with the gang, it's like no time has passed.


• 9:45 pm - Second show of the evening and another good night of comedy has been thrown down.


• 11:15 pm - After getting notes, chatting with Eric, who showed up during the 2nd show, and saying our (for now) goodbyes, Sarah and I head back to the hotel. We are bummed to find that all of the Starbucks we pass are closed. Come on, people, this is New York.


• 11:45 pm - As we walk past construction outside our hotel, Sarah and I see New York rats. Instead of being grossed out, we chase them, giggling with glee.


• 12:30 am - Part of an episode of "Ghost Hunters" is all we can watch before falling asleep

SATURDAY

• 8:30 am - I sort of wake up. I watch an episode of "Ghost Hunters" and then go back to bed


• 11:30 am - I wake up again


• 12:00 pm - Sarah wakes up


• 1:30 pm - We finally leave the hotel and take the 1 to 79th Street


• 2:10 pm - We make it to the Museum of Natural History. After watching 5 minutes of a boring video on telescopes, we make our way to the 4th floor (where the dinosaurs are)


• 3:40 pm - After only making it through two floors, so much education makes us tired, and we leave


• 4:30 pm - Sarah and I walk down to Times Square. There's some sort of street fair going on, and we make our way to one of my old haunts, the Film Center Cafe. It's been redecorated and is no longer the cool, dark, pub-like vibe-y place but an upscale trendy place. The prices are still the same, so it's cool


• 5:30 pm - Sarah and I head back to the hotel to take a nap before returning to Rockefeller Center later that night. On the way there, we see a midget dancing like Michael Jackson in the subway


• 6:15 pm - We arrive back at the hotel and order coffee and dessert from room service.


• 6:45 pm - Coffee, cheesecake, and chocolate cake all around!


• 9:00 pm - We head down to Rockefeller Center to get in line for the taping of "Saturday Night Live"


• 9:30 pm - We find our place in line and wait to be let in. The line is already much longer than we thought it might be. My email confirmation is traded for cool tickets with the date and the guests printed on them. I tell Sarah I hope we get to keep them (we don't)


• 10:45pm - They begin seating us. We turn in our tickets and are given nifty wristbands. We head up to the 9th floor.


• 10:50pm - We are seated in the balcony and are transfixed watching the SNL crew prep for the show. The SNL band plays some amazing music as people are seated


• 11:00pm - Don Pardo greets us and introduces Jason Sudeikis, who entertains us with some goofy bits, basic rules of the road, and then introduces Kristen Wiig and Fred Armisen (on electric guitar). Kristen sings and, along with backup from the SNL band, we are treated to a great rendition of Blondie's "One Way or Another."


• 11:30pm - The lights go down, Will Ferrell takes the stage, and the show is underway. It's the season finale (and Darrell Hammond's last show), a great show, Green Day sounds great, and surprise guests Tom Hanks, Anne Hathaway, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Paul Rudd, Norm MacDonald, and Artie Lang make for a fun night


• 1:00 am - The show is over and the cast waves goodbye


• 1:20 am - Will Ferrell takes the stage again and announces that if we wait around for 5 minutes, Green Day will play a couple more songs for us. The SNL cast gathers on the stage to listen


• 1:25 am - Green Day plays the first of 2 bonus songs for us. They are accompanied through the duration of the second song by Will Ferrell on cowbell (naturally)


• 1:45 am - On our way out, Amy Poehler sneaks past Sarah on her way down the hall. As she stops to talk to someone Sarah, only inches away from her and somewhat starstruck, can do nothing but stare at her and smile


• 2:10 am - On the train ride back to the hotel, Sarah and I enjoy the "I'm Drunk On The Subway Show" as performed by a couple of wobbly-legged girls


• 3:10 am - Nighty night

SUNDAY

• 10:00 am - Sarah and I get up and around to make it out of the hotel by the 11am checkout time


• 11:01 am - Sarah and I leave the hotel


• 11:05 am - Sarah and I go to Starbucks for coffee and breakfast. It's swamped, so we leave


• 11:06 am - Sarah and I go to the hotel restaurant for breakfast.


• 11:07 am - After seeing that an omelette costs $21, Sarah and I sneak out and leave before they can even bring us water


• 11:15 am - Sarah and I hop on the subway and head back toward midtown


• 12:15 pm - Sarah and I have breakfast at the Westway Diner where an omelette costs what it should


• 12:45 pm - We catch a showing of X-Men Origins: Wolverine at the AMC theater on 42nd Street


• 3:00 pm - We walk around, take in the city, and waste time before our train leaves for back home


• 4:45 pm - We board the train (seats together) and make our way back home


• 9:20 pm - Our friend Alyssa picks us up from the train station and our amazing weekend has come to an end

Wow. Good times.

An Open Letter to Lorne Michaels*

*or Marci Klein. If I get either one of you to look at this, that's cool.

**********

Hi. My name is Ed. I'll make this quick, I know you're busy.

Word on the street is, you should stop by the National Comedy Theatre this Friday, May 15 and check out one of the shows (one at 7:30, one at 9:45). There's a good group of people there you should see.

I'm not just saying that because I'll be up from Pennsylvania and appearing in the shows that night. I'm saying that because I'll be up from Pennsylvania appearing in the shows that night and I want you to hire me.

My wife and I have tickets to SNL on Saturday the 16th, so I'll be in the building to sign the papers. Funny how it all works out, huh?

Thanks! See you in a few days!

Sincerely,

Ed Placencia