Sunday, October 20, 2013

I Suck at GTA V

I'm having a blast playing the new Grand Theft Auto game, even though I'm horrible at it. I'll be posting some of my more embarrassing moments here via self-pics I take with the in-game cell phone. I'll be updating this entry as I take more pics, so stop in again soon.

The very first free-roam mission in GTA V was to drive a car. This is a selfie of me after I tried to do just that. Car didn't fare too well.

My car was handling weird, so I got out to take a look. Turns out I had somehow destroyed the right front tire.

Car was driving weird again (different car from last time, but that doesn't mean I was a better driver). Got out to look. Same thing. I'm horrible at this game.

I promise you, this one was an accident. There's a stunt ramp at the airport that I've been trying to perfect for I-don't-know how long, and no matter how many times I try it, it never works. I drive up the ramp, try to do a flip, and I always fail. Like this time, when my car actually landed on top of an airport employee. It was an accident and the cops got really super mad at me. I had time to snap this photo before they showed up and shot me to death.

(Updated 10/20/2013)

Dang it. Did it again.

(Updated later that night)


(Updated 10/25/2013)

That's right, suckas. I got me a blimp. 

Q: Can you land a blimp on top of the FIB skyscraper?
A: Sort of.

Of course, you always run the risk of parking it in a way that you can't reach to get back in and you find yourself trapped on top of a skyscraper with no way down. Not that that happened to me or anything.

(Later that day)

So wait, let me get this straight...People don't like it when you stand in the middle of the street and take photos of random drivers? Ah, OK. Got it. (Please note that you can see the tread marks in the street from my blown-out tire that I continued to drive on)

(Updated 11/01/2013)

There was a traffic jam? Hm. Can't imagine why.

Yes, it's true, I have my shirt off, but why is this zombie looking at me like I'm the weird one?

I found a cop car in the middle of the street. I thought it was a trick, like that Bait Car show, and as soon as I hopped inside the cops would shoot me. I walked up to the car and nothing happened. I got in the car and sat there and nothing happened. I drove away and nothing happened.

So, for the next 20 minutes, I took off driving as fast as I could, never letting up on the throttle, and if I hit something I hit something. In my adventures, I found a policeman in a car on the side of the highway waiting for speeders to drive by. I parked the (now trashed) police car I was driving in front of him as a combination peace offering/smug "look what I did to a cop car" gesture. The policeman didn't do anything.

In a grand gesture of Circle of Life-ness, I returned the mostly-dead police car to the sea from whence it came.

Beautiful scenery. There's me, a swamp, the car I was driving on the bottom of the swamp, and the two rednecks who saw the whole thing happen. I was embarrassed.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Am I Sick? Absolutely.

Been pretty sick the last couple of days and this evening when I looked down at my pile of Kleenex and discarded Cepacol wrappers, it reminded me of something. So, of course, I had to do something with it.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 30


If you're a fan of Arrested Development, you'll get the joke here. If not...well...this probably seems anti-climactic.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 28


Anything I'd like? Wow...that's pretty broad. Well, I'd like to steal Gabe and Jenni Patillo's dog and give it to Sarah. How's that? 

Don't worry, Patillos, I won't.

But I'd like to.

Monday, May 27, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 27


I'm sure Jesus didn't look anything like this, but at least here he's smiling and seems somewhat approachable. I don't think we hear about that Jesus enough.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Saturday, May 25, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 25


I didn't have anything in mind when I started this doodle, I just...started doodling. I'm going to say this is somewhere in Arizona. The only time I've been to Arizona, I was driving through it on my way to California and it was nighttime, so I don't know how close I am to the real thing. But this is what Arizona looks like in the daytime in my head. That's fair.

Friday, May 24, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 24


When Sarah and I first got to know Tyler and Monica, we were attending the same church. We invited them to our weekly "TV Tuesday" when, at the time, a group of us got together to watch "LOST." We began from the very first season so those who hadn't already started in wouldn't be left behind and soon, after watching one DVD a night (usually 3 or 4 episodes) we were all caught up.

After a few weeks Sarah and I noticed that Tyler and Monica were sitting together and one night in particular I spotted them holding hands. That's been a few years now and it's hard to remember them not together. They're an amazing pair of people and Sarah and I love being with them. They're fun (and funny), they love to laugh, they have great senses of humor, and it is sometimes infuriating that I cannot beat either one of them at Mario Kart.

Ty and Monica are getting married in July and just thinking of two people as awesome as they are being together forever... It's nice.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 23


The lovely coffee bean.

Plain and simple, people, I need coffee. You don't understand. I need coffee. I would write more, but just thinking about it... yeah... I'm gonna need to go brew another pot.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 22


Earlier this year Sarah and I visited Nashville. We stayed with our  friends Gabe and Jenni (check out her blog here) and their precious daughter Amara. They were amazing hosts. Sarah had never been to the Music City area before and the Patillos knew the best places to take her to eat (Sarah's primary love language is food so of course she had the time of her life). Ever since we've returned to Pennsylvania, we've mentioned on more than a few occasions how much we miss not just that area of the country, but those really dear friends of ours, the Patillos.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 21


I'm pretty content with life and there aren't a lot of things I want. But getting a letter like this in the mail sure would be nice.

Monday, May 20, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 20


Sure, the obvious choice would be to doodle an orange, but the first thing I thought of was one of the very first CDs I bought. It was 1992 and I had just moved to California. I bought my very first CD player (granted, even then I was a little late on keeping up with technology) and I had joined the Columbia House record club. One of the CDs I ordered in my 12-for-a-penny bundle was Very, a release by the Pet Shop Boys that came in an orange plastic jewel case that had raised circles on the front. Pretty cool, and great music to listen to while playing Sonic on your Sega Genesis.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 19


If you haven't heard of Pete Holmes, now you have no excuse. I first learned of him back in early 2012 when I wrote a review of his album for my Comedy Reviews blog. Pete is back with a brand new album ("Nice Try, The Devil") and I love it. As a result, I had to doodle my own rendition of the cover art, complete with a beard made of candy sprinkles.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 18


The Sketch Club app makes it fun to doodle, I gotta admit. As I go further along in this 30-day challenge, I'm learning to love this app more and more.

Friday, May 17, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 17


I don't really have a favorite plant, but as far as taking care of one and keeping it alive, it doesn't get much easier than a cactus. Forgot to water it for 4 months? No problem.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 16


There's nothing quite like the feeling of making people laugh.

Day 16 - Inspiration

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 15


I'm sure the cat would not approve of how I doodled her.

Day 15 - Family Picture 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 14


It was tricky trying to think of my favorite fairy tale, mostly because shows like Once Upon A Time have taken them all and squeezed all the life out of them. Still, I recall as a child having a picture book of Rumpelstiltskin that fascinated me. What's not to love about a tricky trickster who could turn straw into gold? Also, I recall being intrigued by the artwork. I don't know who the artist was, but as I recall it was very much in the style of Edward Gorey.

*NOTE. On a whim, I Googled "edward gorey rumpelstiltskin" and, as it turns out, it was him! I found images from the very book I was thinking of and it really brought me back. Another testament to how good art can stick with you throughout the years.

Day 14 - Favorite Fairy Tale 

Monday, May 13, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge – Day 13


Wait. By "comic" do they mean comic strip? Cartoon? Stand-up comedian? And if they mean a stand-up comic, how do I possibly choose one? So I went with my favorite comic strip. It was a much easier decision.

Day 13 - Comic

Sunday, May 12, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge - Day 12


I know it's not saving a baby from a burning trailer home or passing legislation that makes it OK for you to demand cotton candy from policemen on sight but I have to be honest: I felt good when I beat Far Cry 3.

Day 12 - Most Recent Accomplishment

Saturday, May 11, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge - Day 11


This one was easy. It was the day I walked into BrewDaily's Cafe.

Day 11 - Turning Point In Your Life

Thursday, May 09, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge - Day 9


This was a tough one to decide on. At first.

I'm such a big fan of TV and there have been so many great shows I've called my favorite. The Muppet Show was an early one. Then Moonlighting. Seinfeld. Friends. Arrested Development. Lost. Community (first 3 seasons only)...

But then I realized the show I've watched and loved the entire time the thrill of all the others I mentioned came (and went) was SNL. When that light went on, I knew there could be no other choice.

Photo 2013-05-02 06.14.21 PM

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge - Day 8


Karl Pilkington in the animated HBO series, The Ricky Gervais Show. If you've ever seen it or the Idiot Abroad series or heard Ricky's podcasts or radio show, you'll understand.

This doodle was especially fun to draw and create and I love the Layers feature of the Sketch Club app (nothing new to those of you who use Photoshop, but I never have so this is a first-time for me. Lay off).

Day 8 - Favorite Animated Character

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge - Day 7


If you thought my favorite word was going to be anything but this, you don't know me that well.

Day 7 - Favorite Word

Monday, May 06, 2013

30 Day Drawing Challenge - Day 6


This one was a bit tougher because the "can't be a movie" stipulation pretty much ruled out all of my favorite books (and my initial choice, Sherlock Holmes). So, I went with the title character in the Edgar Allen Poe poem, "Annabel Lee." It's beautiful and haunting and I still love it as much as I did the first time I stumbled upon it in my high school library.

Day 6 - Favorite Book Character (Can't Be A Movie)