Friday, December 21, 2012

Fake Men in Black

An Actual Conversation I Had With A Fellow Extra On the Set of "Veep" Yesterday

A big part of working as an extra on a movie or TV set is waiting. Go here. Wait. Go there. Wait. It's just part of the drill. There was a guy yesterday whom I suspect was unfamiliar with the experience and wanted something to happen NOW. And he wanted someone to vent to. Now. I was that someone.

Him: I know what's taking so long. One of the guys playing a Secret Service guy said that Julia Louis-Dreyfus isn't even here yet!

Me: She's here. I saw her a couple of hours ago.

Him: No. (gestures to the table of extras dressed in black suits) The Secret Service said she's not here.

Me: I saw her this morning on the set. She stuck her head in to say hello to some people and then I passed her on the street about an hour ago when I was coming back to the holding area.

Him: (a bit upset that I wasn't agreeing with him) No. The Secret Service guys said she's not even here.

Me: Those aren't real Secret Service guys. You do realize we're not really Senators, right?

Sunday, December 09, 2012

A Nice Weekend with Friends

When the TV show "Friends" first debuted (yes, I was watching from Day 1) it clicked with me immediately. As someone who's always been a people person, it came at a timewhen I didn't have a huge circle of buds in my immediate area. I was living in California at the time and didn't know many people. For a self-declared "people person," I'm not incredibly outgoing when I find myself among strangers. And so, at a time when my only contact with my friends and family back home was via a long-distance call or snail mail (I still can't believe I lived in a time without email or cell phones), hanging out with fictional friends once a week was an easy sell for me.

Fast-forward a couple of decades and it's no surprise that I'm a big fan of "Community." True, it's got some of the wittiest writing and acting on TV (that apparently no one but me watches), but it also has that communal vibe that clicks with me so well.

Today in the car, Sarah was commenting on how many people I still keep in touch with considering how many different places I've lived. We were coming back from visiting with a friend of mine who lives a few states away and was in town for a short bit. It was Sarah's first time meeting him and we had a lot of fun sitting in Red Robin talking, laughing, and making each other laugh.

This weekend we got to get together with a bunch of other friends from a variety of walks of life and tonight as things were winding down (and by winding down I mean hanging out in the living room watching Sarah choreograph Zumba Christmas songs) I got to share some nice exchanges with some pals online.

This weekend was a nice opportunity not only to spend time with some really cool people in a variety of different ways, but also to take a step back and appreciate those people in our lives. Not too shabby.


Thursday, September 27, 2012

A Good Week For TV

The networks have been rolling out a lot of their new shows this week (or, after playing a sneak preview of the premiere a few weeks ago, re-rolling them out) and I've been pleasantly surprised by how many of them I'll continue to DVR (which is pretty much all of them that Entertainment Weekly gave me the heads up on). In case you missed them, here are some new shows I recommend. I'm pretty much sticking to new shows in this post, as I've already raved enough about Community and Breaking Bad (or maybe not enough, seeing as how Community continues to flounder no matter how much I try to get people on board. But if you wanna wait until after the show is cancelled and then find it on Netflix and rave about the "new" show you found like you did with Arrested Development, go right ahead).

So, here's what's new that we're enjoying. As always, feel free to leave your new favorites in the comments below.

  • 10pm - Revolution (NBC)
    I'm still not convinced this is going to fill the hole in my heart left by Lost, but I found it engaging enough to stick around.
  • 8:30 - Ben and Kate (FOX)
    I laughed out loud numerous times. Smart and clever, this show will probably be cancelled within a season. I hope not, but that's what happens to all the good ones.

  • 9:00 - Go On (NBC)
    Slightly better than the last Matthew Perry vehicle, and I get a kick out of seeing the kid from Everybody Hates Chris.

  • 10:00 - Vegas (CBS)
    Dennis Quaid kicking gangster butt as a cowboy in the 60s? Who wouldn't wanna see that? Or so I thought. Watching it, I felt like an old lady watching Murder She Wrote. I'll give it another week to get as awesome as I wanted it to be, or I'm outtie.
  • 8:00 - Animal Practice (NBC)
    I can't help but feel that the Bobby Lee character is basically Chang 2.0, but the monkey is funny.

  • 9:30 - The Neighbors (ABC)
    Fun and funny, a nice mix of whimsy and sci-fi. Plus, it has Doug Jones in it.
  • 8:00 - Last Resort (ABC)
    This is the only one that EW didn't really rave about, but judging from the previews (and my pal Nick) I decided to give it a shot. I'm glad I did.

  • 10:00 - Elementary (CBS)
    A nice take on the characters of Holmes & Watson with plenty of wry wit and Sherlockian observations to keep Doyle fans like me happy.

The only show we recorded and subsequently removed from our DVR was Guys with Kids (hellooo, laugh track).
I'm still waiting for Sunday, which will bring us the premiere of 666 Park Avenue mostly because I miss John Locke.

Saturday, July 07, 2012

Instructions Below

From my hometown Indiana newspaper:

Not that there's anything particularly funny about the photo, but I do enjoy the How-To-Make-A-Newspaper caption template.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Tool Time

There's a guy I run into around town who is one of those characters who makes you groan every time they step into frame. He's introduced himself to me a few times and even given me his business card once (which I promptly tossed, despite the fact that it featured a photo of him on the front wearing a cowboy hat, his fax number prominently displayed in bold, and on the back was a collage of descriptor words like "Artist," "Singer," "Visionary," "dreamer," and "child of God"), but I still don't know what his name is. He's cocky, a bit abrasive, and loves to let people know how much he knows.

He is my own personal "Newman."

He's the guy at the party who eavesdrops on conversations and then bulldozes his way inside, offering unsolicited advice and criticism. He hangs out at the building where my wife rents space for her Zumba class and on more than a few occasions he's approached me asking how much she makes (I didn't tell him). When he found out I was married to the Zumba girl he tried to get me to hire him to be her web designer (I didn't) and then told me how she is going about her fitness career all wrong. Of course, he would be more than happy to help steer her career for a small "mentor" fee. There was also the time he tried to convince me there was a "Steve" who worked at the radio station where I worked. When I told him it's a small staff and  no one there is named Steve, he told me I was wrong.

So, as I was walking down the street today on my way to the local coffee shop to buy beans, listening to the latest album for my Comedy Reviews website, I felt my stomach sink as he stepped in front of me on the sidewalk. He was sweating and wearing cargo shorts, a flannel short-sleeved shirt, and a weightlifting belt. He recognized me immediately and said something (I couldn't hear what he said, as my ear buds were in). I turned off my iPod and said, "I'm sorry?"

"Do you live around here?" he repeated, as if I had no business being in the area. I nodded and told him the name of the building where we live. "Ah," he said, "You probably know Kathleen."

"Kathleen?" I repeated, having no idea who he meant. He said her last name (I forget it now) and it still didn't ring a bell. "No, I don't know her."

"You know," he insisted, "Kathleen. Kate."

"No," I repeated, "I don't know her."

"You know, you walk in the door and she's the first one on the right."

As much as that narrowed it down, there are over 130 condo units in the building, four floors,  and at least eight entrances that I know of.

"No," I said again, "I don't know her."

"You should meet her. She's young, cute, and single. You'd like her."

I held up my left hand and wiggled my wedding ring at him. "I'm good, thanks."

He persisted, "Well, if you're ever lonely, you should swing by. You'd like her."

First of all, I'm married.

Second of all, I'm sure your friend Kate loves being whored out like that.

Third of all, you're a douche.

I gave him a curt "No thanks" and popped my ear buds back in before he could say something else. I continued my stroll and left him and his weightlifting belt to continue sweating in the afternoon heat.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Uncle Joe

When I was a kid in elementary school, we used to sing a song in music class that went

"Did you ever got to meetin', Uncle Joe, Uncle Joe?
Did you ever go to meetin', Uncle Joe?"

I had no idea what the song was talking about (and still don't) but I liked to sing it because it was an upbeat song and it made me think of my Uncle Joe.

Every time I saw Joe, he was laughing. He loved to laugh and so, of course, he fit right in with our family. He always greeted me the same way, with a happy, enthusiastic, "Heyyyy, Eddie!" and a big hug. And then he would tell me a joke.

Uncle Joe always had a joke to tell. If there were four things he loved in life, they were his family, Notre Dame, fishing (and collecting antique fishing lures), and jokes. I remember the first time I came back to visit him after I had gone away to college. He took me aside and said, "I bet there are a lot of good parties at college, huh?"

I laughed and said that there were.

And then, as if I were the holder of precious secrets, he asked me in a hushed tone, "Did you hear any good jokes at any of 'em?"

I smiled and told Uncle Joe a couple of jokes I had heard and he swapped them for a few of his own. They were groaners - they always were - but we both knew they were, so it made them funnier.

Joe had a big heart and was always the first in line to help someone who needed a hand. When my grandmother fell ill, he and his wife Sue really took the lead on making sure she had everything she needed. He stepped up and treated her like his own mother and I know it meant a lot to her. It meant a lot to me, too.

Uncle Joe had fallen ill not long ago and his health descended quickly. This morning I got The Call from my brother Ray that Joe had passed on.


Sarah and I are going home to Indiana next week and I was looking forward to getting the chance to see him, Sue, and their son Joe. I wanted to give him a hug and tell him a joke. I hate that I won't be able to. I hate that sometimes good people go so soon (too soon) and I hate the pain Sue and his son have to feel and I hate having to describe Uncle Joe in the past tense.

But I love who Uncle Joe was.

I love how much he loved to laugh and I love how angry the Fighting Irish made him when they played poorly and I loved it when he would mutter things to me at family reunions that he probably shouldn't say about others but were funny because they were true. I love that he knew how much I enjoyed humor and that he always tried to make me laugh. I love how much he cared for others and that his heart was just as his big as his passion for life.

And I love that when I see him again, I know he'll have a cooler by the door with a cold one waiting for me and he'll have scoped out the best place in the Great Beyond to hook a big-mouthed bass. I'll bet there's a lot of laughing going on in heaven today. Uncle Joe is finally Home, and he's got a lifetime of jokes to share.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

That Looks "Yummy"

From my hometown Indiana newspaper:

That seems like an awfully important word to put in sarcastic quotes.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Something Clever

I'm kinda sorta getting sick of all of the "font boxes" people post on Facebook. You know, the clever/smarmy/witty/inspirational sayings and phrases that the person posting seems to enjoy, but just annoys everyone else. So I made one of my own. Feel free to share.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Sorry, Weird Al (Or, Why Facebook Kicked Me Off)

Today it's my friend Matt's birthday! As a little goof, I decided to post on his Facebook wall a video I made a few years ago of me jumping around like an idiot and lip-synching to Weird Al's song "Happy Birthday." Immediately after I posted it on Matt's wall, I was logged out of Facebook and received an email saying I had violated a copyright and, if it happened again, my video would be removed.

I am also no longer able to log onto Facebook.

Cool. Thanks, Facebook, for making the transition to Google+ that much easier. I'll see you all there!

Oh yeah. And happy birthday, Matt. :)

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Cubs (Don't) Win!

Tonight I was sitting inside Five Guys waiting for my order and had forgotten I was wearing my Chicago Cubs ball hat. An older man who was leaving smiled at me as he walked by and said, "Cubs lost today." He looked like a slightly-younger version of Whitman Mayo, the guy who played Grady Wilson on the old "Sanford and Son" show.

I smiled back and said, "I'm used to it."

His hands filled with his purchase, he backed against the door to open it on his way out and said, "The Cubs are gonna win the World Series one of these day."

"I've been saying that every year for the last 40 years," I told him. He laughed and walked to his car. It was only then that I noticed he was wearing a Phillies jacket. Not just a Phillies jacket but one with a bunch of patches all over it that said things like "2-Time World Series Champs" and various other stats and years.

I thought it was nice of him that, even though I do live in Phillies country, he wasn't mean or dismissive. We were just two baseball fans catching up with each other.

But then again, he probably just felt bad for me. It's easy to be nice to someone whose team poses no threat to yours.

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Must-See Movies?

I have a friend who is in her early 20s and was recently reprimanded by her older friends for never having seen various "classic" movies. As I talked with her I found that, yes, there are some films she hasn't seen that she needs to check out (i.e. Back to the Future, E.T.). She sent me the list of the must-see films she was assigned by her pals for my feedback (that's right...she knows where to go when it comes to second-guessing "classic" films). I read the list and it sounded more like a weekend of SpikeTV than a list of classic films. I added my comments and am sharing that with you here.

  • Rocky...and the following 6374 sequels
    Watch the first one. 2 & 3 you can watch if you want. The others must be avoided at all costs

  • Equalizer Night
    Never even heard of it. Skip it.

  • Apollo 13
    Sure. Didn't blow me away, but whatever

  • Leaving Las Vegas
    Horrible. Horrible. Horrible. You'll want to kill yourself afterward. Also, it's 2 hours of Nicolas Cage "acting"

  • The Godfather trilogy
    I've only seen the first one, and I really liked it. From what I hear, the first one is all you really need

  • Goodfellas

  • Copland
    Definitely not. These guys obviously have a man-crush on Stallone

  • Roadhouse
    Nah. It was cool back in the 80s but now plays as really super cheesy. Might be fun to watch, but for reasons that will make them cry.

  • Romancing the Stone
    Meh. I never got into this one.

  • The Matrix...but just the first one

  • Star Wars...but only 4,5, and 6
    Sort of true. Again, they might play off as cheesy and you have to understand you'll go into them with huge expectations.

  • Highlander

  • Smokey the Bandit
    No way. This was cheesy back when it came out.

  • Blazing Saddles
    I saw it once. It was A'ight. 

  • The Mask of Zorro
    They put this in there? It was fun, I had a good time, but would never have considered adding it to a "Must See" list

  • Casablanca
    I've never seen it. I don't feel guilty about it.

  • Gone With the Wind
    Never seen it and I refuse to. I hate movies with hoop skirts.

  • Grosse Pointe Blank
    It was cool.

  • Better of Dead
    Never seen it.

  • Awakening
    Good movie.

  • Kindergarten Cop
    Meh. It's OK if you like Schwarzeneggar.

  • Strange Brew
    I liked it at the time, but havent seen it in years, so I can't guarantee how well it'll hold up.

  • A Prayer for the Dying
    Never heard of it. Skip it.
    PS. Just looked this up and saw it stars Mickey Rourke. Buy it and burn it so others won't be contaminated. 

So...Let the discussion begin.

Friday, February 24, 2012

My Vote Goes To...

'The Academy Awards® are coming up this Sunday and I'm excited. Our friends John and Lisa always throw a fun Oscar party where everyone is invited to dress as a character from a movie. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone this year -- and guessing who they are -- and Sarah and I are eager to debut our own costumes (hush hush if you already know our plan).

I've finally seen all 9 films nominated for Best Picture and if I had my say (and I don't) here's how I would rank them from Best to Least Best.

  1. Moneyball

  2. The Help

  3. The Descendants

  4. Midnight in Paris

  5. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

  6. Hugo

  7. War Horse

  8. The Artist

  9. The Tree of Life

For the most part I enjoyed most of them. Shave 30 minutes from the front and 20 minutes from the end of The Tree of LIfe and I would have enjoyed them all.

What about you? Which one would you place at the top?

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

What My Teachers Taught Me

I am currently reading an incredible read from Stephen King, "11/22/63." I'm about halfway through the 1,000-page tome and am loving it. Like my favorite King books, the focus isn't on the blood and guts and the havoc monsters wreak, but on the main characters themselves. I'm at a point in the book where King emphasizes how much impact a teacher can have on a student's life and it started me thinking back on my days in school and the teachers who meant a lot to me, whether they knew it or not.

This morning I decided to Facebook stalk my very first Drama teacher I had in Junior High, Mrs. Klecka. She was only at the school for two years while I was there before she moved away. She was, to put it bluntly, really freakin' cool and made something that I already enjoyed doing (being up on stage making people happy) even more fun. As I did a few quick Google searches, I was disheartened to learn that Mrs. Klecka (AKA Stormy Ann Urbaszewski) passed away last February. I was hoping to find her online and drop her a note of thanks.

I was too late.

As I digested that fact, it struck me that I was pretty fortunate growing up to not have just one teacher who really impacted me, but quite a few. Maybe it was the times, growing up in the 70s and 80s. Maybe it was going to school in a small town (we had a graduating class of 120, if memory serves). Or maybe I was just blessed. Whatever the reason, my life had no shortage of great educators who really seemed to care.

I'll start in the beginning (I'm told it's a very good place to start) and then move on from there. I don't know where most of these people are now but if you happen upon them, please pass on a hug from me.


  • Mrs. Hampshire - Kindergarten
    Yes, I remember my kindergarten teacher. She was warm and friendly and wore the same glasses that hipsters wear today to be cool. To a super-nervous kid in a big, new surrounding, Mrs. Hampshire taught me that being in a big, new surrounding doesn't necessarily have to be scary.


  • First Grade - Mrs. Sliger
    Yes, we learned the basics -- and in first grade, it's pretty basic -- but Mrs. Sliger did so in a way that encouraged creativity. I could relate to that.

  • Third Grade - Mrs. Rupert
    Mrs. Rupert had a great laugh. When she found out I liked performing, she set aside an hour of class time one afternoon to let my pal Todd and me perform songs from The Muppet Movie soundtrack. This, of course, was the seed that blossomed into my very first TV appearance. 

  • Fourth Grade - Mr. Sunday
    Mr. Sunday is a teacher like you won't find anymore. He was also a Sunday School teacher at my church, and he would take that week's posterboard Bible verses and hang them up in the classroom. He wasn't trying to shove anything down anyone's throat, but the verses were there if you needed them. Even at that young age I admired him for that.

  • Fifth Grade - Mrs. Bickley
    Mrs. Bickley really got behind my love for acting. I was always asking her if I could put on a play and not only did she let me, she also made every Friday afternoon Skit Day. Anyone who wanted to do a skit for the class could, and we all took advantage. I specifically recall a "Welcome Back Kotter" skit featuring Kool & the Gang's "Celebration" as Vinny Barbarino made his entrance (played to perfection by the cool kid of the class, Brett Cramer).

  • Sixth Grade - Mr. Greenamyer
    I was competing in the County Spelling Bee and before I left class on the big day, my Home Room teacher Mr. Greenamyer passed me a note. It said, "Remember the three C's. Stay collected." He also left his phone number and asked me to call him when I got home that night to let me know how it went. As nice as his words of encouragement were, I still remember how nervous I felt as I dialed on our green rotary phone. After all, I was calling a home!

  • Music - Mrs. Gagen
    Twice a week in elementary school, we had music class. Not only did she let me read an excerpt from The Muppet Movie companion book before our amazing rendition of "The Rainbow Connection" at a recital (I may or may not have grown up with a Muppet obsession), she also taught us some pretty cool songs, especially for elementary school. Most noted were "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" and Men at Work's "Land Down Under" (a song I refused to sing, only mouthing the words. I didn't understand that the term "down under" meant Australia, so I assumed we were singing about hell, and I was a good Christian boy who would have no part in singing songs about demons). I also remember that she got married and we would have to start calling her by her new name: Mrs Gagen. We all thought the name sounded weird and we'd never get used to it. I remember her saying, "After a month, you won't even remember my old name." Oh yes? You think that is so..... MS. COX???


  • Geometry - Mr. CapinMr. Capin had a great teaching style in that he never allowed to us take notes. It was his contention that if we were writing while he was teaching, even writing about what he was teaching, things would slip through the cracks. When he finished his lesson we were allowed to take all the notes we wanted and that forced us to pay attention as he spoke, following everything he said. When he put down the chalk and returned to his desk, we would scramble to jot it all down. And it worked. Also...he told really funny stories.

  • Music - Mr. Gerke
    Mr. Gerke was the one who introduced me to one of my favorite movies of all time. After finding out I was really into comedy, he took me aside and told me, "If you like comedies, you need to check out A Fish Called Wanda." He was right. That, coupled with our fun debates on which SNL cast was the best (he was on the side of the original cast, I supported the at-the-time current Hartman-Carvey-Lovitz-Miller-Hooks regime) helped to fuel my passion for comedy.

  • Theatre - Mrs. WallsI had a fun relationship with Mrs. Walls. She knew I liked to joke around and I knew that she wasn't going to take any of my crap, so we had a mutual respect for each other, much like you do for someone with whom you're playing poker. "Your move, teacher. What'cha got?" She knew when to let me goof around and she knew when it was time to get serious, and when you think you're God's gift to high school plays - and I admit I sometimes did -  it's good to have someone there to give you a much-needed reality check.

  • Spanish - Mrs. Wallace
    I only took two years of Spanish but I felt like Mrs. Wallace was my pal throughout my entire high school career. When I would walk by her classroom we wold always exchange a friendly greeting, even though I had forsaken Spanish class for Art. One part Kathy Bates in any Kathy Bates film except Misery and one part Angela Lansbury (albeit a much, much younger Angela Lansbury), Mrs. Wallace was down-to-earth and friendly and I found I could make her laugh if I drew sarcastic cartoons in the margins of my Spanish quizzes.

  • English - Mrs. Grogg
    Mrs. Grogg  was awesome. She was small and tiny and excited about literature. She jumped in with both feet and wanted desperately for us to feel what it's like to be totally engulfed in the gift of imagination and creativity. She was quirky and enthusiastic and sometimes her quirkiness and enthusiasm got her snickered at behind her back by  her students (unfairly, I thought). But Mrs. Grogg didn't notice. And if she did, she didn't care. There's magic in the world around us and it's so easily accessible. I didn't just read about King Arthur and The Jumping Frog of Calavaras County, I felt like I hung out with them. I felt the fabric of royal robes and coughed at the dust kicked up in the streets of that small Southern town on a hot summer's day. I'm grateful to this day that Mrs. Grogg introduced us.

My wife Sarah asked me if I was going to send these teachers a thank-you note. I'd like to, but for the most part, I don't know how to get in touch with them. Until I track them down (Facebook, you've failed me yet again) I guess this nostalgic little write-up will have to suffice.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

UAFF - Breaking Bad

A was watching an episode of "Breaking Bad" and hit PAUSE while I was talking to Sarah. Thus accidentally begins a new series of blogs that I will add to from time to time called "Unintentionally Awesome Freeze Frames."

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Story Time with My Wife and Dylan Brody

This afternoon I asked Sarah, "Hey, do you have a few minutes? Wanna hear a story?"
She nodded her head with a smile and said, "Sure!"

After pouring us each a cup of her world-famous white mochas, we settled in on the couch. I have spent the last couple of days listening to an album for my Comedy Reviews website and I played for her a track from the forthcoming project from comedian/storyteller Dylan Brody, "Chronological Disorder."

It's a track called "Bad Deal," and we sat on the couch listening to his story about poker, his grandfather, his wife, and an Atlantic City hotel parking garage. With our mugs of coffee close at hand, we laughed, smiled, and allowed ourselves to be transported for a few minutes to a place where we could not be harmed. The recording itself is intimate and close and it didn't take long before we felt like we were there, in person, listening to his tale among friends and fellow fans of "fine words and phrases."

After the story was finished, Sarah and I looked at each other and smiled. We shared a hug and a kiss and a feeling of warm fuzzies filled the room. It was nice.

Needless to say -- spoiler alert if you read my reviews -- I love this album. I can't wait to tell you more about it.

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

10 Steps To Enjoying A Night In

Start with some freshly-ground coffee from a place that roasts their own beans as well as the gang at Square One Coffee does

Just a bit of water at first. It almost looks like a chocolate cake

Add more water

Lean in and take a whiff

Something good happened here

No cream or sugar for you? Good news, your coffee's ready

I'll take some cream, please


...and enjoy.

My camera seemed to add a green tint to the final photo that wasn't there in real life. The lighting seems to have tweaked the golden tan color it actually has. My thanks to the fine folks at Square One Coffee for providing the beans that made for an excellent way to wind down tonight.

The pour-over dripper, kettle, and filters are totally worth it (especially if you're a coffee snob like me) and available in person at Square One or online from Amazon.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Holding a Grudge

Hey, remember Beth from season 2 of The Real World in LA circa 1993? Yea, I still hope she gets mauled by possums.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Pardon Me

Sometimes when I go into the bedroom the cat gives me this look like I'm interrupting...something.

Our cat, Mai, is clearly not entertained if I snicker while taking her photo

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Ed the American

Today I had the following conversation with a man at Sarah's Zumba class. Let it be noted that English is not his native language. I believe he speaks Spanish, but I couldn't venture to guess which Latin culture he hails from. When you read this, please give him as heavy an accent as possible.

Guy: You are-a Mexican?

Me: (thrown off by the weird way he chose to start a conversation) Sorry?

Guy: You are from Mexico?

Me: Well, my grandparents are, yea.

Guy: You no speak-a Spanish?

Me: No.

Guy: Someone told me you be-a from Mexico.

Me: My grandparents are. I'm actually from Indiana.

Guy: Ah, you are Indian.

Me: No. Indiana. The state.

Guy: Ah, you are from the United States.

Me: Yes. Yes I am. I am from the United States.

Monday, January 23, 2012