A Series of Open Letters to The Yellow Pages

 

Dear Yellow Pages,

The party is over. Admit it. No one wants you anymore. You're free and people still opt out. Don't be that guy who refuses to admit everyone else has moved on to the cooler party down the street. It's starting to get sad. Believe me.

Sincerely,

Tom from MySpace

***

Dear Yellow Pages,

And we thought we had a majorly overblown sense of importance.

Sincerely,

The Cast of Jersey Shore

***

Dear Yellow Pages,

You're surrounded by injuns. This can't end well.

Sincerely,

Gen. Custer

***

Dear Yellow Pages,

Sorry.

Sincerely,

Google

***

Dear Yellow Pages,

Stop it. You're killing us.

Seriously.

Sincerely,

The Trees