Monday, July 12, 2004

I Hate Shaving

I mean, REALLY, I loathe shaving. But I don't want a beard so it's somethig I have to live with. I've never liked shaving. Never ever. I can remember my first time shaving back in Indiana and thinking to myself "Well this is gonna suck." And it does. Shaving sucks.

Beards serve no real purpose to me so thank you, Ed's chemical makeup, but no thanks. Yea sure, maybe back in the caveman days we needed them to protect ourselves from the sun, but I'm not a caveman and I need no such protection. Unless I'm Amish and I want to let people know that I'm married, I don't really need a beard.

And hear me when I say I'm not coming down on people with beards or goatees, it's just not for me. But I AM coming down on the guys with pencil-thin sideburns shaved into intricate designs. I mean come on. Seriously.

I'm also not saying people (guys mostly) shouldn't have the choice whether or not they want facial hair. I'm just saying that if they do, they should have to work for it. Like abs. You should have to do facial crunches and then the more you do, the more beard you grow. That way those of us who hate shaving can live peacefully and care-free for the rest of our lives and those who want the stubble just have to put in a little effort. But, no, a beard you can have for free. Abs you have to work for.

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