I'm growing a goatee. Don't worry, it's not going to be around for very long. My friends John and Lisa throw a huge Oscar party every year and they've decided that this year everyone should dress accordingly. At first Lisa was going to have us dress as our favorite Oscar nominee from this year. And then it became any past Oscar winner. And now -- I think -- it's evolved into a Come As Any Movie Character.
When the parameters were still in the "Any Past Oscar Winner" phase, I decided who I was going to be. It would require minimum costume purchase and that was cool with me. In fact, all I'd really need to do is grow a mustache. But I'm not a porn actor from the seventies or a child molester from any era, so I wasn't too keen on being "that guy" for the next month or so. I decided instead to grow out a goatee and then, on the day of the party, shave it to just the 'stache.
In the meantime I have a couple weeks' worth of growth and I look like most of my cousins did in the 10th grade. Now when I am introduced to people for the first time, this is who they think I am. The Guy With the Goatee. I met someone last week who knew me from the radio station but had never seen me and I was informed I looked "just how he pictured me."
I wanted to tell him this isn't actually how I look, but I didn't. I figured he probably wouldn't follow me when I explained to him I was only growing out this facial hair so I could shave half of it off on the 24th and try to pass myself off as Kevin Kline from A Fish Called Wanda.
Yep. That's who I'm going to be. And, if you're like most people I know, you have no idea what film I'm talking about. Shame, really. It came out in 1988 and stars John Cleese, Kevin Kline, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Michael Palin. Is it any good? you may ask yourself. And I will answer your question with one of my own: When's the last time you heard of someone winning an Academy Award for a comedic role?
Yes, it's that good. And it holds up. Sarah had never heard of it and watched it a couple weeks ago and I'm pleased to say it kept her laughing.
So now all I need is a black ball cap (check), a grey shirt (check), a black tie (check), and a soul patch and mustache (check and almost check).