Wednesday, March 17, 2010

ACLU: Get a Hobby

So here's what's going on:

Last week the ACLU sued a high school in Mississippi.

You see, it's prom season, and a girl at Itawamba Agricultural High School announced she was going to go to the prom with her lesbian girlfriend wearing a tuxedo. The school let her know that the prom was for guy-girl couples and so, naturally, the girl and the ACLU filed a lawsuit against the school.

Naturally. That's the next logical step to take in the process. Why bother talking to the school board or setting up a conference? There's money (and headlines) to be made here.

So the school said, "OK, fine, this is more trouble than it's worth. Prom is canceled, maybe a private organization will hold the prom instead. This is getting crazy."

So now the ACLU is suing the school again, trying to force them to have the prom.

You're having a prom? I'LL SUE YOU.

You canceled the prom? I'LL SUE YOU.

I can just see the ACLU in their Fortress of Spinning Wheels, shaking their gentle fist, "You won't escape us! Bwwaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha! Have the prom, cancel the prom, we don't care, we're suing someone."

I'm looking forward to next week, when the ACLU sues Mattel for not producing a Kendra doll, a female version of Ken, which, as we all know, stifles a girl's opportunity to explore all of her options.

The week after that, the ACLU will sue McDonald's for only serving Coke and discriminating against Pepsi. McDonald's will then serve Pepsi and will in turn be sued by the ACLU once again. The ACLU will claim they are only "trying to reach their pointless lawsuit quota for March."

The ACLU will then get its own half-hour sitcom on the WB, called "Them Wacky Bungholes." They will also get a 1-hour reality series on FOX (airing after American Idol) in which two contestants are introduced to one another. The first person to sue the other person is hired by the ACLU. The following week, they will be fired.

They will then be sued by the ACLU.

Meanwhile, millions of ignored starving people die, child trafficking continues, and Lady Gaga continues to fool people into thinking she's actually a female. But at least the ACLU got to sue a school because of their prom.


Michelle said...

This is super annoying. But a comical review, thanks for that.

janelle said...

aahahahahha, this is great. ...and then the ACLU will audition for america's next top model. They will cat fight and wear strange outfits while hanging upside down in a tank of water to get their picture taken. They will be voted off due to too much crying and plain stupidity. But lucky for them, they will turn around and sue!

p.s. - the original Ken is already feminine enough.