As I returned from my lunch break at work this evening, I saw a lonely umbrella on the sidewalk leaning against a fence next to a scooter. I really wanted to steal it. Well, I guess it wouldn't be stealing so much as it would be taking. It looked like a really nice umbrella, too.
But I didn't take it (nor did I steal it). But not because of my extreme sense of responsibility as an upstanding citizen. No, I didn't take it because it was a large umbrella and when it rains in NYC and everyone has their umbrellas out, large ones are annoying. And I don't want to be annoying.
So, umbrella owner, whoever you may be, your umbrella is still right where you left it. And you're welcome.