Tuesday, February 27, 2007

His what?

Today I was at the bank and talking with my Aunt Mary, who is one of the managers there (I think that's her title). While we were yakking a truck drove by outside behind me that was in pretty bad shape; the exhaust pipe had come loose and was dragging on the ground.

Mary looked over my shoulder and said, "Hey that guy's thing is hanging out."

I turned, looked, saw the truck, and then turned back to her. "Totally not what I was expecting to see."

She thought for a beat and then got embarrassed. "That sounded bad didn't it?"

"A little bit," I said, and knew I would be writing about it here.

Monday, February 26, 2007

A Friend Indeed

Without going into it too much and being too whiny, I had a bad day today. Really bad, actually. Basically, without provocation, my computer took a dump on me. Since I'm online right now it obviously wasn't a total dump, but it was enough of a dump to make me swear like Courtney Love in a No Smoking establishment. Basically the sound drive is shot which boils down to me not being able to hear sounds on my computer. It wouldn't be too bad except I can no longer hear audio to do my audio and video editing. And that sucks.

I spent the better part of the day trying to fix it and grumbling and hating life when the doorbell rang this afternoon. I was not in the mood for company. I peeked out the window and saw a UPS truck outside. I wasn't expecting anything, so I thought nothing of it until I saw the UPS guy leave my doorstep and return to his truck.

What is this? I was hoping he had inadvertently delivered a box of cash money to my doorstep and so I made my way downstairs.

There on my doorstep was a box and the return address confirmed it was from one John Allen. For those of you who don't know, I first met John when I was in Nashville working at Gotee Records; John was part of the sales team there. Like me he's a fan of movies, stand up comedy, and trivia so it goes without saying we got along well and are still good friends.

A week or so ago I posted a blog about reconfiguring the junk on my refrigerator and invited my buddies to feel free to send me something to add to the collection. John dropped me a line to let me know his son Jake was working on something for me and it would be in the mail soon.

I definitely wasn't expecting a box, though. I thought perhaps a legal-sized envelope or maybe even a Manila envelope, but definitely not a box. I giggled like an inbred monkey as I opened the box and out fell Jake's awesome picture of a purple elephant, a couple Relient K stickers, a mini-poster from the movie Amazing Grace, an autographed insert from the new Switchfoot album, and a crapload of CDs!!!!!

So thanks, John and Jake. Thanks for being so incredibly thoughtful and also for brightening my day so much, even though you didn't know how much I'd need it. It's always nice to get those little reminders of how awesome your friends are. I had a bad day and my computer still isn't fixed but thanks to my buddy John, I don't care nearly as much.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Daring to Flirt

you know me, what I'm about to tell you might come as quite a surprise. If you really know me, though, it probably won't. I've never ever openly flirted with someone before; someone I didn't know. I may have exchanged a smile or a polite hello or carried on chitchat with a cashier once or twice, but my intention is usually just to be friendly. I've never been one of those guys who can go up to a complete stranger and strike up a conversation.

The fact of the matter is, when it comes to talking to the opposite sex, I'm extremely shy. I guess I should clarify because most of my friends never see that side of me. But that's just it. You're my friends. It's strangers that I have trouble with. But if you think back very hard to the time you and I first met, you may recall that initially I was quite reserved. I have to warm up to someone and get a feel as to how much Ed they can take, I guess.

I say all that to tell you this: Today I decided I was going to openly flirt for the very first time in my thirty-six years. It all happened while I was out by myself at a Chinese restaurant. It was about 3:00, so the lunch rush was over and the dinner rush hadn't even started thinking about kicking in. I found myself entirely alone in the restaurant; not another customer in the place.

I was greeted by a cute Chinese girl who was working as hostess/waitress/manager and she had a nice smile and really pretty, dark brown eyes. I made my way to the buffet, filled up a plate, and sat down to eat. After a minute or two, she also went to the buffet, got a plate of food, and made her way to the far corner to eat. She would come over every so often to see if I needed another soda, smile, and then make her way back to her seat.

I observed her while she ate. Not in a creepy stalker way, but because it was either look at her or look at the wall. I noticed she didn't look up very often. Sometimes she would take a bite of food, swallow it, and then just kind of stare at the tabletop. I wondered what she was thinking about. And then I noticed that I was doing the same thing. I would eat a few bites of food and then find myself zoned out and staring at the empty seat across from me. I wondered if she noticed me and if she wondered what I was thinking about. Or if, in the silence of the restaurant, I just kind of melted into the background.

It was during this time I decided I would try to flirt with a stranger for the very first time. I'd never done it before, so I didn't even know if it was a power I had. I've never ever talked to a girl I thought was cute just up and out of the blue but I figured this would be as good a time as any. I was under no misconception that I would say or do something that would make her swoon and we would end up driving off into the sunset...I just wanted to see if I could. Other guys can do it, why can't I? Why haven't I?

But it had to be real; I wanted it to be genuine. I didn't want to just throw a line out there like an overeager fisherman. And I also didn't want to come off as the sleazy jerk hitting on the waitress. After all, the food there is really good and I didn't want to become "that guy."

I started to talk myself into it. Would I actually be able to go through with it? Or would it just be like every other time where I tell myself I'm going to do it and then, in the moment of truth, I chicken out? I opened my fortune cookie and it read, "Your present plans will be successful."

Cool.

I stood up and put on my jacket. She noticed me and made her way to the cash register. and I got really nervous. Doing stand-up in front of 350 strangers is cake compared to this.

And this is how it went:

Her: Was everything OK?
Me: Everything was really good.
Her: (smiles) Good.
Me: Do you mind if I ask your name?
Her: Jenny.
Me: Jenny?
Her: Yes.
Me: Jenny, you have really pretty eyes. (I didn't tell her this in a Barry White/Ladies Man-type way, but just stated it friendly and matter-of-factly like I was telling her it was a nice day outside)

Jenny looked down and didn't say anything. And then I decided I'm an ass.

Jenny counted out my change and I was filled with self-loathing. I thought everything I said came out sounding genuine (she really did have pretty eyes) and not-at-all cheesy but what do I know. I'm a big dumb guy.

She handed me my change and I thanked her. She still didn't say anything. I smiled and turned to walk out the door. As I pushed it open I heard her say "Thank you." I smiled at her, nodded, and continued out and then she said it again.

"Thank you."

Two thank yous. I guess it could have gone worse.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Simon...Do We Have A Deal?

Ok, Mr. Cowell, here's my proposal:

I promise I'll keep watching American Idol if you promise you'll no longer put Paula Abdul on-camera if she's stoned out of her gourd.

Just thought I'd throw that out there.

HAPPY FEET An extensive movie review of the third animated film nominated for an Oscar

More like Crappy Feet.

Monday, February 19, 2007

August (Not In A) Rush

Almost a year ago I did some extra work on August Rush, a film starring Jonathan Rhys Myers, Keri Russell, Robin Williams, Freddie Highmore, and Terrance Howard. I spent four freeeeeeeeezing nights in Central Park from 11pm to 6am and the scenes they shot with us were some of the last scenes they were shooting.

I just checked the Internet Movie Database to see when in the world this film is coming out, as I haven't seen any trailers or anything for it. They don't have any trailers listed, no picture or image for the film, and the release date they have only says "February 2007."

What a bunch of liars.

I also looked up the only other project I worked on while in New York that still hasn't come out, a film entitled Devil You Know starring Lena Olin. Imagine my surprise when I saw that the release date was "2006" and it only played in New York City. No box office stats or anything. It is my suspicion this little gem was probably a direct-to-video deal gone awry, but I haven't been able to find anything else on it at IMDb.com or Amazon.com.

Let's go, film people. You've had a year. Ed's tired of waiting.

Fridge Decor

This morning while waiting for my Dad to pick me up for work I decided to tidy up the decor on my refrigerator. I have two surfaces to work with...the front and one side. I put up a few things I have gathered during my time in Indiana (mostly photos of my niece and a few friends) and took down a few things as well (some recipes from Men's Health and newspaper clippings).

Because I don't have a digital camera anymore (alas and alack) I'll let you know what's what. The side of the fridge is mostly covered by a map of the NY subway system. It also contains the McBob Annual Christmas Update, a program from the National Comedy Theatre, and the cast roster from my final show at the NCT.

The front of the fridge features photos of the Sattisons, the Blowers, the McRobertses, and the Bishops. There's also a promotional postcard from the NCT and some artwork (one by my niece Valencia, and one by my buddy Adi).

I'd like more, though, so I think you should send me items (photos, something you drew, postcards, cash money) to add to the beauty. You know my address. If you don't, drop me a line. Let's turn this mother out.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Uncle Joe's Quote of the Day - NASCAR Edition

Today I went over to my Uncle Joe and Aunt Sue's house for a fish fry. NASCAR hullabaloo was on the TV and Uncle Joe stated:

"NASCAR is just 43 hillbillies chasing a redneck."

Well put, Uncle Joe.

An Inconvenient Movie

An Inconvenient Truth is a movie nominated for an Oscar for Best Documentary Feature, explaining the dangers of global warming. It is produced and narrated by Al Gore. It's basically the filming of a long lecture on global warming done by Al Gore, with various shots of Al Gore in between trying to save the world.

There is a reason Al Gore has a reputation for being boring.

This movie sucks. Not because of the content, but because Al Gore bores the everliving crap out of me. I tried, I really did, to be interested and listen to the facts, but when they're being given to you by a man with as much charisma as a week-old dog turd, it's a little hard to focus and pay attention. This blog is in no way affected by my personal opinion of Al Gore. The fact of the matter is, he's freakin' boring.

Sorry. This film may have information I need to know, but I'm not getting it this way. I stopped 25 minutes into the movie and can't take any more of it. The worst part of it is the fact that this will probably win the Academy Award for its category. Not because of its brilliant and intriguing storytelling or its revelation of hidden facts, but because Al Gore is popular with Hollywood and he didn't win the presidency. I submit to the jury that the Academy Award this "film" is almost certain to win will be Al Gore's presidential consolation prize.

And I won't have any part of it. Life is too short to mix politics with pleasure. And this film isn't even pleasant.

A Week From Tonight. And I Don't Care

The Oscar Awards are next Sunday, and I honestly couldn't care less. I can't remember being less enthused for the big shoo. Maybe it's because I haven't seen many of the nominees this year. Maybe it's because I don't really want to see many of the nominees this year. Or maybe it's just because there haven't been many movies to get excited about lately.

Of the Best Picture nominees, I saw The Departed (pretty good) and Little Miss Sunshine (amazing). I know LMS isn't going to win, though, and so I honestly don't care who does.

The category I'm most excited about? Best Animated Feature. This is the category they got right this time around, as all of the movies are deserving.

Cars was my least favorite of the Pixar films (I'll be the first to admit that I equate car racing with mullets and rednecks, so it already had that going against it) but the animation in itself was amazing.

Monster House was just fun. Fun, fun, fun. I definitely liked it much more than Cars. Sorry, Pixar. You know I still love you.

I just finished watching Flushed Away and maybe it's just because it's freshest in my mind, but it is my personal favorite of the three. And I didn't even want to see it because I never got into the Wallace & Grommitt series. I know that's heresy with some people, but I just couldn't find them entertaining, and this film is by the same guy. Maybe it was because I was expecting so little that I enjoyed it so much. I laughed out loud numerous times and that's always a plus with me. Definitely the kind of movie that will need repeated viewing (and a good knowledge of European life) to catch all of the numerous jokes that are tucked away in there.

I'm sure the Oscar ceremony will be fun to watch but when all is said and done...well...let's just say Ed's not having an Oscar party this year. And if I did have one, who would show up?

This is Indiana. If there's not a ball involved, there's not much interest.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

No Doves for Me

Still looking back at my old emails from my expired email account and found this little gem. I sent this to Missy Zahn at the Gospel Music Association in February 2004. Her response is below.

From: ED
Sent: Wednesday, February 25, 2004 2:28 PM
To: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject: TOP 10 REASONS WHY I, ED PLACENCIA, SHOULD HOST THE 2004 DOVE AWARDS

TOP 10 REASONS WHY I, ED PLACENCIA, SHOULD HOST THE 2004 DOVE AWARDS


10. Experience in improv will come in handy when Carman rushes the stage
9. Would never pronounce Jaci Velasquez "Mizz...Valice-gezz"
8. I'm often mistaken as the 6th Katina
7. Would invite Out of Eden on-stage for a DDR Max Dance competition
6. Promise to keep the Steven-Curtis-wearing-a-kimono jokes to a minimum
5. Would never think of opening the show with a song and dance number like that hack Billy Crystal
4. When's the last time a Mexican stepped foot on stage at the Doves? (besides Salvador)
3. Halfway through the show, we vote one of the Avalon members off the island
2. Will maintain my court-ordered 20-yard distance from Mac Powell at all times
1. It's 2004. Let's shake things up.


From: Missy Zahn
To: ED
Sent: Wednesday, February 25, 2004 3:49 PM
Subject: RE: TOP 10 REASONS WHY I, ED PLACENCIA, SHOULD HOST THE 2004 DOVE AWARDS


Very creative! We enjoyed the ideas. I'll forward it to our producers =)

Missy

Needless to say, I never heard back from "the producers." And as I think about it, I don't think they actually ever existed.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Pop Culture Hurts My Head

If you're not familiar with VH1's World Series of Pop Culture, it's basically just what it sounds like. A quiz show about pop culture. And I often found myself shouting answers at the screen and not believing these people actually made it onto the show.

Thanks to a "heads up" from mi amiga Libby, I was able to partake in an online test tonight to try to qualify to become a contestant on the show. It was a timed test with six sections. They would be taking the people who scored in the top 5 percent and then choosing 50 contestants at random from that pool.

I just finished taking the test. My head hurts. The questions were much harder than I remember them being on TV, but I guess it has to be like that to weed out the chaff. My worst section of the test was a portion where they take a movie or episode of a TV show and give you a basic summary of the plot and you have to choose the one word in the paragraph that is wrong. Much to my chagrin, they gave summaries of TV shows I didn't watch (Cheers, Saved by the Bell, Ally McBeal) and movies I had no time for (Broadcast News, Boogie Nights). Thankfully that portion was multiple choice. I'll tell you right now, if I don't win, I know what section was my downfall.

The other five sections I rocked in. I mean for real. I honestly don't think I missed any other questions. I knew the lyrics to the theme from Growing Pains, I knew that Benicio Del Toro was in Big Top Pee Wee, I knew the lyrics to Pink's "Get this Party Started", I knew the original band name of R.E.M., and I knew how many fingers Homer Simpson has on both hands (including thumbs).

So if they pick me, cool. If not, that's cool too. I'm not expecting anything at all, but those of you who know me know how much I love trivia, so it was a nice little diversion and something to do. Now I'm just waiting 10 more minutes so I can watch "Lost" (I had to turn off the TV so as not to be distracted, thus I was unable to watch the episode as it aired and will have to resort to watching it recorded via VHS).

I know what you're thinking, and you're right. Libby and I both stayed inside on Valentine's Day to take an internet quiz and then watch "Lost."

Alone.

That's right. We are the coolest people ever.

Phone Calls to Make One's Day

Two phone calls today.

The first was a conference call with Julie, Libby, and Tom. I hadn't spoken on the phone to Julie & Libby since my old radio promoter days and had almost forgotten how much fun they are. It was my first time speaking with Tom and the three of them together was a good time indeed. It was the next best thing to hanging out in person with three people who love to joke around and laugh.

A couple of hours later I called back to wish Libby a Happy Valentine's Day. We ended up talking about everything from Hurricane Katrina to the VH1 World Series of Pop Culture and everything else in between. It was a good time indeed.

If you have a friend you haven't spoken to in a long time and/or have fallen out of touch with, I highly recommend giving them a buzz or dropping them a line. It'll do your heart good and bring on the smiles.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

White Night

I was just finishing up some radio spots for my pal Lisa and happened to notice the clock. I couldn't believe it was past 11 since it's still light outside the window. Or at least I thought it was. It's actually just snowing so much that the sky is an almost luminescent white color, as is everything else outside that is covered with snow.

Weird. Definitely not looking forward to going out in this stuff tomorrow.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

My Secret Admirer!

Yesterday I found a plastic bag hanging on my front door. Inside were six huge heart-shaped cookies covered in frosting and pink sprinkles.

And that was it. No note. No clues. Who would leave me such a treat? Is it possible someone has had their eye on me and my horrible male radar never picked up on it?

The plastic bag was from Meijer, a grocery store chain in this area...but not one near my house. So it had to have been someone who goes to Ft Wayne to do shopping. But who?

I have to admit, my first thought was the girl I blogged about last week and I really didn't want that to be the case. Really really. I put the bag of cookies on my kitchen table and decided not to eat them for fear they would be poisoned with craziness.

Later that day I was at a basketball game and my sister-in-law Piper asked me if I got the cookies my mom dropped off for me.

Mom.

How quickly I forget that I am back home again.

On one hand I was happy because they were from Mom and that meant I could eat the cookies. On the other hand, it meant they were from Mom, and not from Jennifer Aniston.

Calling Me Be My Wrong Name

A few people recently have asked me if they should call me Ed or Eddie. For most of you who live out-of-state, that's never been a problem. You know me by one of those names and that's all you ever hear people call me. But here at home, it is a bit of a dilemma.

I'll try to explain. Most people who have known me since childhood call me Eddie. My family (except Dad, who's pretty much always called me Ed), my friends, and people I went to school with. But now when I meet people I introduce myself as Ed. And when they get near my family, that's when the confusion starts because they hear everyone else calling me Eddie. And then they ask me which I prefer.

I guess I don't really have a preference. Whatever you call me is what you call me. But when you call me by the name you don't usually use, that's when it sounds weird. And a couple of times I've actually caught myself signing an email or message with the wrong name and gone back to correct it, most recently with Julie and Libby. So if I ever sign the wrong name when I write you, please forgive me. Sometimes it's hard to remember who calls me what.

All of my friends in Pennsylvania call me Eddie. When I was on the air there, that's the name I went by and how I came to be known. But if someone from PA would call me Ed, that would just sound weird. Likewise if my Nashville or New York friends were to call me Eddie. It just doesn't fit.

So Ed...Eddie...it doesn't much matter. Just pick one and stick with it. But ladies, you can still call me Pablo.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Oh....

Today I went to a high school basketball game and learned what to do and what not to do the next time I am invited to sing the National Anthem at a sporting event.

1. Do not forget the words or sing the same verse twice.

2. If you happen to forget step 1 and sing the wrong words, be sure to take the microphone away from your mouth before pausing....waiting...and then mumbling "Oh....crap."

Friday, February 09, 2007

"The Failures of Ed" Update

Just an update to let you know the status of the short film I mentioned I was working on last week. Instead of boring you with a summary, I find bullet points are much more exciting!!

* This film will debut the name of my new production company. The name won't mean anything to anyone except for those people who know their History of Ed. One of the pictures in my MySpace photos is labeled "Garrett, August 1980." If you know the story behind that photo, then the name might make sense. Otherwise...just another production company.

* Seven scenes have been shot. Total running time so far is 2m40s.

* Another cameo appearance by a former co-worker of mine at WJTL.

* Shooting will continue in downtown Auburn IN this weekend.

* Only one scene (so far) has dialog.

* A friend has been contacted about writing original music for the short film but nothing has been confirmed, thus I shall refrain from naming names.

So there you go. Some leaks directly from the set to my favorite friends in the whole wide world. Do with this info what you will (i.e. notify Entertainment Tonight and Lorne Michaels and Marci Klein at Saturday Night Live).

More to follow...

Who ARE these people?

People are spying on me. And I wish they had the guts to step forward and identify themselves instead of lurking in the background.

Ramblings of a paranoid delusionsal? Not this time.

I have that little Trakzor thing that monitors who visits my MySpace page, when they visit, and where they're from. Trakzor doesn't tell me who visits, but because it tells me what time they visit and what city they're in, using a little detective work I can usually figure it who it is. For example, my brother left me a comment last week. So I went to see what time he left the comment and checked with Trakzor to see who visited my page at that time. Sure enough it said someone from Garrett visited me at the same time, so I was able to identify him.

But there are a couple of people who visit my page on a regular basis who for some reason have refused to ever contact me or leave me a message. And so now it's time I call them out:

Ft Wayne, In: Someone from Ft Wayne visited my page 3 times so far today: at 8:21am, 1:25pm, and 4:02pm. This person visits my page on average about 4 times a day. Every day.

Charlotte, TN: This person doesn't visit as much as the person from Ft wayne, but still....they visit a lot. And I have no idea where Charlotte is, which is why this one always stood out.

Nashville, TN: This mystery person has slowed down ther visits as of late, but at one point it got me very curious. They were visiting sometimes as often as 8 times a day. They usually visit bewteen midnight and 1am.

Mesa, AZ: I actually think this person who also usually visits me late at night is my cousin Rich. But he never leaves me a message so I can't be sure. Rich, if you read this, step up, bro.

As for the rest of you...who are you? And why don't you ever message me? There's something that brings you back day in and day out, but apparently nothing intriguing enough to inspire you to come out from behind your mouse pad and 'fess up. I have some suspiscions and some theories, but they're just that.

Come on. stand up and be counted. I double dog dare ya.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

The Balance of Anna and Indy

There are some people who maintain the belief that there is only so much good and evil in the universe, only a certain amount of room to hold these two entities, and it is the job of the universe to uphold that balance. Many people who hold this belief are a little...I don't know, let's say "touched." Johnny Depp's character in Once Upon A Time In Mexico is a prime example. At a Mexican restaurant he enjoys a dish (Puerco Pibil, in case you're interested. And yes, I know how to make it) that is so good he feels the only way to balance it out is to kill the chef. Something as extraordinary as this pork dish cannot exist in the world without something else good in the world paying the price for it.

I'm not trying to be offensive or insensitive. It's not my intention to say something controversial just to say it and be controversial. But I have to be honest with you, my friends and faithful readers, when I say I was reminded of the balance between good and...not so good today when I saw two very different headlines. It was honestly the first thing that came to mind. I shall present the headlines to you and then let you be the judge on whether or not there really is a battle for this balance being fought.

"Anna Nicole Smith found dead."

"Release date for 4th Indiana Jones movie announced."

Balance, people. It's all about balance.