Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The Useless South

Today I got a really random IM from Ashlea at work with a question that opened the floodgates. I'm probably going to offend some people with this one but at the end of the day, I stand by my word. I now give you our instant message conversation:

ASHLEA: Which state would you describe as the most useless?

ME: Montana. Alaska. Alabama. Kentucky. Missisippi. Tennessee. Georgia. South Carolina. North Carolina. And Virginia.

ASHLEA: Haha. Ok, disputes...Alaska has oil. And you can take cool cruises.

ME: Yea but conservationists won't let us get the oil, so it's useless. Mexico has cool cruises, too.

ASHLEA: North Carolina and South Carolina are awesome. Outer Banks, Myrtle Beach.

ME: If you want beaches, go to Florida or California or Hawaii.

ASHLEA: Georgia peaches.

ME: Georgia has the Klan.

ASHLEA: Tennessee because of Nashville.

ME: Nashville has country music and also inbreeding.

ASHLEA: Eddie you really need to redeem your feelings about Nashville.

ME: Nah. I like my feelings about Nashville. It's OK. I feel the same about Atlanta. We should just pave over them and start over.

ASHLEA: What would you change?

ME: I would gas it, fence it off, and make it a nature preserve.

After this, Ashlea didn't say anything else. So, naturally, that means I'm right.


1 comment:

Going Like Sixty said...

Aha! Kentucky isn't useless. Lots of speed, fast women, fast cars (Corvette made in KY), fast drunk (bourbon), fast horses, (Churchill downs) and meth.