Other important headlines in the News That Isn't Really News category:
Rocks are hard.
Dogs have a tendency to say "Woof" while cats are more prone to the phrase, "Meow."
Jaws is a movie about a shark.
Last week Christian singer and performer of schmaltzy anthems Ray Boltz announced he is gay as well. That's right. Apparently September is National Announce You're Gay If You're A Singer Whose Songs Make Me Turn Off The Radio And Your Name Rhymes With "Gay" month.