A Mom Bomb

One thing I love even more than websites telling me what to wear to church are websites that are trying so hard to be hip and cool that they base their entire line of clothing on a cool catchphrase ("That's the bomb!") that was actually never cool. Christians love clutching onto a phrase ten years too late and claiming it as their own (please accept as Exhibit A the countless number of youth groups with "Xtreme" in their name).

Carrying on that tradition, we now have a website for moms who are trying to look cool and embarrass their kids at the same time. That's right, you too can be a mom who's the bomb! Ladies and gentleman I present to you THE BOMB MOM.

THE BOMB MOM. Perfect for white suburban moms everywhere who want to let a shirt proclaim their coolness without having to go to the trouble of actually being cool.

The website's tagline is "For moms that got it goin' on."

I'm not sure if these people are aware that the only people who actually use the phrase "got it goin' on" are the women sitting in Oprah's studio audience. Not necessarily a demographic I would describe as "the bomb" but whatever. To be honest, I don't really describe anything as "the bomb," mostly because I get embarrassed when people roll their eyes at me.

All this site is missing is a "You go girl!" banner stretched across the bottom. Everything else is there, including this sentence lifted verbatim from the site:

Take a look around and shop to your hearts content. We have shirts for the bomb mommies out there in WOMENS, and shirts for the bomb mommies' littles ones too in TODDLER and BABY.

That's right, kids. How many grammatical and spelling mistakes can YOU find?

The Bomb Mom. Wear one of our shirts and you'll almost forget how much you love being pregnant!

Being a bomb mom is fun! Obviously.

Are you an anorexic mom? We've got one for you.



Are you a girl uncomfortable and a little embarrassed modeling a shirt in public that's kinda dorkish and you would never wear in real life? Then we have one for you, too.

Don't worry, ladies, if you can't decide which one to buy, THE BOMB MOM has conveniently given you a wide assortment of basically-identical shirts to choose from.

According to the website, the shirts were made in places like Peru and Thailand. (Insert your own sweatshop joke here.)

THE BOMB MOM. Clumsily raising the self-esteem of white soccer moms everywhere.

Coming soon: Dizzle Daddy jeans!*

*And other "cool" ideas thought up by a Youth Pastor with a goatee and frosted tips.