Sarah and I spent this Thanksgiving morning flipping back and forth between the Macy's Parade and the parade in Philadelphia. We watched as Miley Cyrus and Syesha Mercado sang us Christmas greetings, Kermit the Frog and Snoopy balloons floated across the TV screen, and marching bands, floats, and dance schools gave us both eye and ear candy.
I turned to Sarah and asked, "What's your favorite part of a parade?"
Sarah answered without hesitation. "The candy they throw at me."
I admit, I forgot about that part.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Planes, Trains, & Free T-Shirts
Every Monday night a local theater, Penn Cinema, presents what it calls The Heart of Lancaster movie series. They show classic movies such as Rear Window, Back to the Future, The Wizard of Oz, and Christmas Vacation. It's a really cool way to see some of your favorite movies on the big screen again or, as is often the case, for the first time (Rear Window on video is cool...on the big screen is truly the way it was meant to be).
Before the movie begins, the theater owner comes out and asks trivia questions related to the evening's film, giving people the chance to win some fun prizes. When Sarah and I went to see Monty Python and the Holy Grail I won a nifty little chip clip.
But last night they showed Planes, Trains and Automobiles and I wasn't about to settle for a chip clip. I was determined that my years of studying Steve Martin and his works would not go unrewarded. The trivia questions are usually pretty tough, and I tried to imagine what the questions might be. As I waited for my buddy John to pick me up to see the film, I stood outside my apartment playing the film back in my head, thinking of every possible detail that could be quizzed.
The name of the ad campaign being studied in the opening (and very final) scene? Ibis.
The actress behind the counter at the Marathon Car Rental company? Edie McClurg, who was also in John Hughes' Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
The name of the movie Steve Martin's wife is watching while she waits for him to come home? She's Having a Baby, also directed by John Hughes and starring Kevin Bacon who has a cameo in PT&A.
Any other John Hughes connections in the film? Ferris Bueller's Ben Stein plays the airline attendant and Molly Ringwald's grandfather from Sixteen Candles is seated on the other side of Steve Martin in the plane.
So when the time came for the trivia to begin I was hoping I wouldn't freeze up and choke on something I should have known. The question came and, I have to admit, for someone who's seen the movie 30-plus times, it was a no-brainer.
"What are the first and last names of the two main characters in the movie?"
My hand shot up with lightning-fast speed and before I even realized my hand was in the air, the manager was calling on me, "The young man in the black coat." (He called me "young man." Heh heh heh. Sucker. My good genes fooled 'em again!)
I answered with all the calm confidence of Ken Jennings playing Celebrity Jeopardy. "Neal Page and Del Griffith."
So if you see me walking around in my new Dolby Digital T-shirt with an oddly happy spring in my step, you know why. I just wish I could go back in time to when I was a teenager watching Planes, Trains... for the 20th time. My mom asked me, "Why do you have to watch that movie so many times?".
Because now I have an answer.
Before the movie begins, the theater owner comes out and asks trivia questions related to the evening's film, giving people the chance to win some fun prizes. When Sarah and I went to see Monty Python and the Holy Grail I won a nifty little chip clip.
But last night they showed Planes, Trains and Automobiles and I wasn't about to settle for a chip clip. I was determined that my years of studying Steve Martin and his works would not go unrewarded. The trivia questions are usually pretty tough, and I tried to imagine what the questions might be. As I waited for my buddy John to pick me up to see the film, I stood outside my apartment playing the film back in my head, thinking of every possible detail that could be quizzed.
The name of the ad campaign being studied in the opening (and very final) scene? Ibis.
The actress behind the counter at the Marathon Car Rental company? Edie McClurg, who was also in John Hughes' Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
The name of the movie Steve Martin's wife is watching while she waits for him to come home? She's Having a Baby, also directed by John Hughes and starring Kevin Bacon who has a cameo in PT&A.
Any other John Hughes connections in the film? Ferris Bueller's Ben Stein plays the airline attendant and Molly Ringwald's grandfather from Sixteen Candles is seated on the other side of Steve Martin in the plane.
So when the time came for the trivia to begin I was hoping I wouldn't freeze up and choke on something I should have known. The question came and, I have to admit, for someone who's seen the movie 30-plus times, it was a no-brainer.
"What are the first and last names of the two main characters in the movie?"
My hand shot up with lightning-fast speed and before I even realized my hand was in the air, the manager was calling on me, "The young man in the black coat." (He called me "young man." Heh heh heh. Sucker. My good genes fooled 'em again!)
I answered with all the calm confidence of Ken Jennings playing Celebrity Jeopardy. "Neal Page and Del Griffith."
So if you see me walking around in my new Dolby Digital T-shirt with an oddly happy spring in my step, you know why. I just wish I could go back in time to when I was a teenager watching Planes, Trains... for the 20th time. My mom asked me, "Why do you have to watch that movie so many times?".
Because now I have an answer.
Friday, November 21, 2008
The Other Other White Meat
Sarah and I were in the store browsing through the book section when Sarah saw this:
Sarah's immediate reaction was a small gasp. She grabbed the book and, as she flipped it over, exclaimed excitedly, "There better be a picture of a baby on the back."
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Well, I Tried
It's been a while since I blogged last, so tonight I sat down with that one goal in mind. I actually had a lot I could blog about. I just celebrated a birthday. Sarah did, too. We were back home in Indiana this past weekend for my grandmother's funeral. The post office lost a birthday package Sarah's dad sent to us. And other stuff.
But after I sat down, I realized there were dirty dishes in the sink. I decided to play the role of good husband and take care of them while Sarah was gone. I'm pretty sure it was no coincidence that the first song that played on my iPod was Salt N Pepa's "Whatta Man." So I bounced around and sang about what a good guy I am while I did the dishes.
Then, for some reason, I decided I wanted to listen to Sammy Ward. I have no idea what the correlation is between Sammy and S&P, but I bet they would have a great conversation. After singing along to a few songs, I wondered if Sammy was my Facebook friend (he isn't) or my MySpace friend (nope).
But while I was on MySpace I stumbled across a contest where the prize is an appearance in the new Judd Apatow/Adam Sandler/Seth Rogan film. You had to say in 100 words or less why you should be in the film and I spent the next 20 minutes figuring out the best way to use those 100 words.
Then I looked around for something to eat and considered whether or not I should start watching 21. I didn't. I decided I should blog.
But I lost the drive.
At least now you know why.
So thanks, A.D.D.
But after I sat down, I realized there were dirty dishes in the sink. I decided to play the role of good husband and take care of them while Sarah was gone. I'm pretty sure it was no coincidence that the first song that played on my iPod was Salt N Pepa's "Whatta Man." So I bounced around and sang about what a good guy I am while I did the dishes.
Then, for some reason, I decided I wanted to listen to Sammy Ward. I have no idea what the correlation is between Sammy and S&P, but I bet they would have a great conversation. After singing along to a few songs, I wondered if Sammy was my Facebook friend (he isn't) or my MySpace friend (nope).
But while I was on MySpace I stumbled across a contest where the prize is an appearance in the new Judd Apatow/Adam Sandler/Seth Rogan film. You had to say in 100 words or less why you should be in the film and I spent the next 20 minutes figuring out the best way to use those 100 words.
Then I looked around for something to eat and considered whether or not I should start watching 21. I didn't. I decided I should blog.
But I lost the drive.
At least now you know why.
So thanks, A.D.D.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
A Chance Meeting
Ever have one of those moments that you know is significant but you're not sure why? Sarah and I had one of those this weekend when we met Jonas.
A bit of a warning: This blog may contain a rabbit trail or two that may or may not seem pertinent, but hang with me. It's all relative to the story. Kinda like Memento. At the beginning you're like "What the freak is going on here?" but then you find out...well...you'll see.
Sarah and I walked down to the Fulton Opera House this weekend to catch a production of "Glorious." It's a play based on a true story about a famous singer who actually couldn't sing at all. Call it Spinal Tap for the opera community. There were only three people in the cast and they all did a phenomenal job. They had us laughing from Joke One and kept us the entire length of the play right down to the very touching final monologue.
During the intermission, I was reading the actors' bios in the playbill. The lead actor was named Jonas Cohen and...wait a second...he had listed in his credits the fact he had just finished a production of "Love Jerry" in New York. I know it's a small world and they say the theater world is even smaller, but...
About four months ago I wrote a blog about "Love Jerry." My friend JT, whom I worked with at the National Comedy Theatre, was at the time trying to get this new musical off the ground and...wow...could this be a cool connection? With five minutes left to go in intermisison I broke the rules, pulled out my cell phone, and furiously sent a text to JT.
A few minutes later I received JT's response.
Wow! How randomly cool is this? And if JT says Jonas is a cool guy then it must be true because JT is himself pretty darn cool.
After the show, Sarah and I kinda lingered around in the theater to see if the actors were going to come out but then I realized this wasn't a high school musical and they would probably leave through the stage door on the side. Oh well. I figured I would send JT a message when I got home telling him to tell Jonas he did a great job.
Sarah had to take a bathroom break before we left so I lingered in the lobby, doing the "nod and smile" to all of the people who walked by. I eavesdropped on a conversation between three people who had met before and were trying to figure out where and when. I watched a stagehand run up and down the lobby stairs. I watched the ushers take off their bow ties, say goodbye to one another, and take off to enjoy their Saturday afternoon. I found the four ladies who were seated directly behind us during the play. They had serious "smoker's laugh" and I kept an eye on them in case one of their lungs fell out.
Finally Sarah and I were ready for our walk home (another thing I love about living in the city; we're only about five blocks away and in the height of the leaves changing color, it's a really nice walk). As we left the theater I saw a guy approaching us from the alley. I quickly turned to Sarah.
"Hey, is that the guy from the play?"
"Yep."
Sarah had barely answered me when Jonas was standing right beside us. Sarah and I greeted him with "great job" and "well done" and he politely thanked us and smiled. I then asked him if he knew JT Arbogast and the poor guy looked like he was slapped in the face.
"Yeah." He looked surprised and I guess in hindsight it may have been the last thing he expected a stagedoor fan to ask (even though we weren't technically at the stage door, we were nonetheless fans).
I went on to introduce myself and Sarah, told him how I knew JT, and we were all instant friends. Apparently, Jonas also knew about the "All Friends Of JT Must Be Cool" rule. Jonas asked where we lived and then asked if he could walk with us, as the apartment he was staying at was on the way, only a block and a half from our place. How cool is that!
During our short 2-1/2 block walk the three of us chatted about anything and everything as if we were old friends. The more we talked, the more we found we had in common, and the more we were all blown away by this seemingly random meeting.
As we arrived at his apartment and parted ways, exchanging emails and friendy guy-hugs, Jonas commented that sometimes you meet people and you feel there's a reason behind it, that it wasn't just a coincidence, and I agree. The funny thing is...I don't know what that reason is.
I don't know. Maybe Sarah and I were there to inspire him and bring him a smile. Or vice versa. Or something else that hasn't happened yet. For all I know he's Lorne Michaels' nephew and next year I'll be live from New York on Saturday Night.
As a comedian, I appreciate good timing, and if we hadn't gone to the theater that day...if JT hadn't been able to respond to the text message...if Sarah didn't have to wait in line at the restroom...well, it just all timed out perfectly.
I know, I know, it's also possible that I'm reading more into this than is actually there. But if I learned anything from M. Night Shyamalan's Signs, it's that there are no coincidences.
But what if it was all just a coincidence? Well, that's OK, too. The point is, we made a new friend when we least expected it, and it made for a really cool Saturday afternoon story. And I can't complain about that, ya know?
A bit of a warning: This blog may contain a rabbit trail or two that may or may not seem pertinent, but hang with me. It's all relative to the story. Kinda like Memento. At the beginning you're like "What the freak is going on here?" but then you find out...well...you'll see.
Sarah and I walked down to the Fulton Opera House this weekend to catch a production of "Glorious." It's a play based on a true story about a famous singer who actually couldn't sing at all. Call it Spinal Tap for the opera community. There were only three people in the cast and they all did a phenomenal job. They had us laughing from Joke One and kept us the entire length of the play right down to the very touching final monologue.
During the intermission, I was reading the actors' bios in the playbill. The lead actor was named Jonas Cohen and...wait a second...he had listed in his credits the fact he had just finished a production of "Love Jerry" in New York. I know it's a small world and they say the theater world is even smaller, but...
About four months ago I wrote a blog about "Love Jerry." My friend JT, whom I worked with at the National Comedy Theatre, was at the time trying to get this new musical off the ground and...wow...could this be a cool connection? With five minutes left to go in intermisison I broke the rules, pulled out my cell phone, and furiously sent a text to JT.
"Am watching a play with an actor in it named jonas cohen.
do you know him???"
A few minutes later I received JT's response.
"I just did a show with him.
He's a great guy."
Wow! How randomly cool is this? And if JT says Jonas is a cool guy then it must be true because JT is himself pretty darn cool.
After the show, Sarah and I kinda lingered around in the theater to see if the actors were going to come out but then I realized this wasn't a high school musical and they would probably leave through the stage door on the side. Oh well. I figured I would send JT a message when I got home telling him to tell Jonas he did a great job.
Sarah had to take a bathroom break before we left so I lingered in the lobby, doing the "nod and smile" to all of the people who walked by. I eavesdropped on a conversation between three people who had met before and were trying to figure out where and when. I watched a stagehand run up and down the lobby stairs. I watched the ushers take off their bow ties, say goodbye to one another, and take off to enjoy their Saturday afternoon. I found the four ladies who were seated directly behind us during the play. They had serious "smoker's laugh" and I kept an eye on them in case one of their lungs fell out.
Finally Sarah and I were ready for our walk home (another thing I love about living in the city; we're only about five blocks away and in the height of the leaves changing color, it's a really nice walk). As we left the theater I saw a guy approaching us from the alley. I quickly turned to Sarah.
"Hey, is that the guy from the play?"
"Yep."
Sarah had barely answered me when Jonas was standing right beside us. Sarah and I greeted him with "great job" and "well done" and he politely thanked us and smiled. I then asked him if he knew JT Arbogast and the poor guy looked like he was slapped in the face.
"Yeah." He looked surprised and I guess in hindsight it may have been the last thing he expected a stagedoor fan to ask (even though we weren't technically at the stage door, we were nonetheless fans).
I went on to introduce myself and Sarah, told him how I knew JT, and we were all instant friends. Apparently, Jonas also knew about the "All Friends Of JT Must Be Cool" rule. Jonas asked where we lived and then asked if he could walk with us, as the apartment he was staying at was on the way, only a block and a half from our place. How cool is that!
During our short 2-1/2 block walk the three of us chatted about anything and everything as if we were old friends. The more we talked, the more we found we had in common, and the more we were all blown away by this seemingly random meeting.
As we arrived at his apartment and parted ways, exchanging emails and friendy guy-hugs, Jonas commented that sometimes you meet people and you feel there's a reason behind it, that it wasn't just a coincidence, and I agree. The funny thing is...I don't know what that reason is.
I don't know. Maybe Sarah and I were there to inspire him and bring him a smile. Or vice versa. Or something else that hasn't happened yet. For all I know he's Lorne Michaels' nephew and next year I'll be live from New York on Saturday Night.
As a comedian, I appreciate good timing, and if we hadn't gone to the theater that day...if JT hadn't been able to respond to the text message...if Sarah didn't have to wait in line at the restroom...well, it just all timed out perfectly.
I know, I know, it's also possible that I'm reading more into this than is actually there. But if I learned anything from M. Night Shyamalan's Signs, it's that there are no coincidences.
But what if it was all just a coincidence? Well, that's OK, too. The point is, we made a new friend when we least expected it, and it made for a really cool Saturday afternoon story. And I can't complain about that, ya know?
Thursday, November 06, 2008
A Lot to Say
Sarah and I are back from vacation and the thought of writing a blog seems really intimidating; there's so much to say and yet I'm too lazy to say it all. Here's what's been happening:
Our anniversary/honeymoon trip to Jamaica was incredible. My favorite part about Jamaica was the people we met. The friends we made while we were there weren't fellow vacationers but instead people who worked at the Sandals resort in Negril. Great people, for reals. While we were there Sarah won the dance contest, the limbo contest, the Bob Marley trivia contest, and we won 2nd place in the Couples Game Show. Anyone like rum?
The election came and went and despite repeated warnings, the world didn't blow up and I haven't turned Communist yet. I was also told all of my money would be given to other people to pay their mortgages if Obama won but to be honest, if that were indeed the case I'd much rather help out people who are struggling than give billions of dollars to bail out banks.
The Phillies won the World Series but since I'm a Cubs fan, I didn't really care.
We also missed Halloween, so I guess you're just gonna have to wait until next year to see my awesome Kitt Kittrege costume.
Our anniversary/honeymoon trip to Jamaica was incredible. My favorite part about Jamaica was the people we met. The friends we made while we were there weren't fellow vacationers but instead people who worked at the Sandals resort in Negril. Great people, for reals. While we were there Sarah won the dance contest, the limbo contest, the Bob Marley trivia contest, and we won 2nd place in the Couples Game Show. Anyone like rum?
The election came and went and despite repeated warnings, the world didn't blow up and I haven't turned Communist yet. I was also told all of my money would be given to other people to pay their mortgages if Obama won but to be honest, if that were indeed the case I'd much rather help out people who are struggling than give billions of dollars to bail out banks.
The Phillies won the World Series but since I'm a Cubs fan, I didn't really care.
We also missed Halloween, so I guess you're just gonna have to wait until next year to see my awesome Kitt Kittrege costume.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
A Vote for Change!
I've decided I'm not going to put as much cream in my coffee as usual. The coffee was so good in Jamaica (mostly Blue Mountain) I didn't need to add as much cream as I didn't want to bury the taste. Even though the coffee back here isn't the same, I'm still going to try to cut back a bit.
Oh yea. And there was an election yesterday.
Oh yea. And there was an election yesterday.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Hey, Look! A Black Guy!
A couple of months ago I posted a blog about a mystery man who walks around outside my office window every day. I made a video of him, speculating who he might be. This strange white dude who wanders around every day, his long black hair and creepy moustache, his baggy dress clothes...he is indeed an enigma.
About 6 weeks ago he disappeared. I haven't seen him since. Did he find this blog, or the video of him, and go into hiding? Did he get a new job? Did whoever he talks to on the phone every day break up with him and thus he no longer has a need for his daily phone break?
Yesterday Lisa and Ashlea were in my office and I saw a figure outside the window from the corner of my eye. Lisa did too, and said excitedly, "Is that the guy on the phone?!"
We were instantly excited and all three of us dashed to the window and peered outside. And we got busted. The dude looked right at us.
The only thing is, it wasn't our guy. Not even close. It was a big bald black man.
And I'm sure the three white people rushing to the window to look at him made him feel AWESOME.
So, sorry, Stranger Outside My Window #2. I realize what it probably looked like but you have to believe me when I say it was a completely innocent group stare. I promise you I've seen a black guy before.
About 6 weeks ago he disappeared. I haven't seen him since. Did he find this blog, or the video of him, and go into hiding? Did he get a new job? Did whoever he talks to on the phone every day break up with him and thus he no longer has a need for his daily phone break?
Yesterday Lisa and Ashlea were in my office and I saw a figure outside the window from the corner of my eye. Lisa did too, and said excitedly, "Is that the guy on the phone?!"
We were instantly excited and all three of us dashed to the window and peered outside. And we got busted. The dude looked right at us.
The only thing is, it wasn't our guy. Not even close. It was a big bald black man.
And I'm sure the three white people rushing to the window to look at him made him feel AWESOME.
So, sorry, Stranger Outside My Window #2. I realize what it probably looked like but you have to believe me when I say it was a completely innocent group stare. I promise you I've seen a black guy before.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Honeymooning
When Sarah and I got married almost a year ago (wow that was fast!) her dad got us a pretty amazing wedding gift: a week at a Sandals resort in Jamaica. But, since we got married in Florida and spent a few days down there afterward as a honeymoon, he told us we could pick whatever date we wanted to go. We decided to go with our 1-year anniversary and the time is now upon us!
Our flight leaves early Saturday morning from Philadelphia. And, in another awesome gesture, Sarah's dad booked us a night in a cool hotel Friday night so we wouldn't have to make the drive into the city crazy early.
I've never been to the Caribbean before and I'm excited. Sarah asked if I want to learn how to scuba dive. I do, but I'm also way crazy scared of sharks. And for no reason. Considering I have no shark trauma in my past, I have no reason to have such an irrational fear of them. Even at aquariums, I freak out walking under fake sharks hanging from the ceiling and get nervous walking past paintings of them. At Sea World in Florida they have this shark exhibit where you walk through the shark tank...it's like a tunnel in the middle of their tank made of glass and it took all of my will power to go in. Fortunately, they were all tiny, like 2-feet long, so it wasn't nearly as bad as I feared.
So yea, I wanna learn to scuba dive but I also don't want to spend the whole time paranoid that a shark is behind me waiting to chew on my cranium. I wonder if I can just take my scuba gear into the hot tub?
There are some other cool things there that I want to do and see, so I'm sure my Steven Spielberg-induced fears won't totally dominate my time. :) I checked the weather forecast and it's calling for showers every day we're there. But I totally don't even care. Something tells me a rainy day in Jamaica isn't the worst place in the world to find yourself.
So I'll be gone for a few days. You kids be good while we're away. Don't eat all the cookies the first day and remember to tape Saturday Night Live for me.
Our flight leaves early Saturday morning from Philadelphia. And, in another awesome gesture, Sarah's dad booked us a night in a cool hotel Friday night so we wouldn't have to make the drive into the city crazy early.
I've never been to the Caribbean before and I'm excited. Sarah asked if I want to learn how to scuba dive. I do, but I'm also way crazy scared of sharks. And for no reason. Considering I have no shark trauma in my past, I have no reason to have such an irrational fear of them. Even at aquariums, I freak out walking under fake sharks hanging from the ceiling and get nervous walking past paintings of them. At Sea World in Florida they have this shark exhibit where you walk through the shark tank...it's like a tunnel in the middle of their tank made of glass and it took all of my will power to go in. Fortunately, they were all tiny, like 2-feet long, so it wasn't nearly as bad as I feared.
So yea, I wanna learn to scuba dive but I also don't want to spend the whole time paranoid that a shark is behind me waiting to chew on my cranium. I wonder if I can just take my scuba gear into the hot tub?
There are some other cool things there that I want to do and see, so I'm sure my Steven Spielberg-induced fears won't totally dominate my time. :) I checked the weather forecast and it's calling for showers every day we're there. But I totally don't even care. Something tells me a rainy day in Jamaica isn't the worst place in the world to find yourself.
So I'll be gone for a few days. You kids be good while we're away. Don't eat all the cookies the first day and remember to tape Saturday Night Live for me.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Adult Peer Pressure
Who knew that peer pressure is something you never outgrow?
When I was a teenager growing up in Indiana, peer pressure consisted of your basic alcohol/drugs/growing a mullet issues (and yes, I managed to avoid all three).
But peer pressure didn't stop there. In my twenties, the pressures almost stayed the same. Drink this, smoke that, cut your hair like George Clooney (admittedly, I gave in to the last one. But doggone if I didn't love my Caesar cut).
Now I'm in my thirties and peer pressure seems to have shifted a bit. Instead of "don't give in, you'll ruin your life" the pressure has become "don't do that, you'll ruin the lives of everyone around you." And of course, I'm talking about politics.
We're a few days from Election '08 and the debate between Obama and McCain rages on. And you know what? I'm sick of it. Really. Mostly becuase it's raging on among some of my friends whom I usually consider sane people. I can't stand talking about politics and yet here I am blogging about it. Go figure. I see the irony in that but I've gotta get a thing or two off my chest.
The thing that bugs me the most are the people who tell me (or infer) that if I vote this way it makes me less of a Christian. Unless I vote with you, I'm voting against God's will. Issue X is what matters the most and as a Christian we MUST vote "this" way. God would want me to vote for this guy and to do otherwise is to bring about the demise of the human race. This guy's stance on Issue Z offends you personally, so as fellow followers of Christ I must vote along with you and make it my most important issue as well.
I'll bring this down to extremely simple terms. It's kinda like buying a new house. What's the most important thing to you when you're looking to move? Price? The neighborhood? Condition of the house? School district? The crime rate? The color of the carpeting? Whether or not it has a garage? Proximity to the grocery store?
I realize it's not the best analogy in the world and voter issues are much more important, but just because the school district is the thing you feel most passionate about when you buy a home, why does it have to be my most important issue just because we both call ourselves a Christian? And because you feel most passionate about the school district, why does that automaically mean God feels the same? And if I make my decision based on the neighborhood rather than the school district, what right do you have to tell me that's not the Christian thing to do?
I'm not going to use this blog to push one candidate over the other because, frankly, I feel that says my opinion is more important and bears more weight than yours. Especially if you disagree. And it's just not true.
Sadly, though, I realize that's what's starting to happen around me.
Maybe this sounds insensitive, but you need to settle the freak down. This may come to you as a news flash but guess what? I don't think either of these candidates are bigger than God. Neither one of them is big enough to stop what Gods wants to happen. He's God, and He's pulled His people through situations a lot worse than President McCain or President Obama. To push the idea that God can't work or do His thing if this guy is elected over that guy...I don't know...I don't know about you but I never want to be accused of robbing God of His power.
How about this: You vote for who you feel would work out best, and I'll do the same. And when the dust settles and some of us are happy with the outcome and some of us aren't, we all continue to keep praying for each other, the country, the world, and yes, even the President. Even if he's The Evil One you didn't vote for.
When I was a teenager growing up in Indiana, peer pressure consisted of your basic alcohol/drugs/growing a mullet issues (and yes, I managed to avoid all three).
But peer pressure didn't stop there. In my twenties, the pressures almost stayed the same. Drink this, smoke that, cut your hair like George Clooney (admittedly, I gave in to the last one. But doggone if I didn't love my Caesar cut).
Now I'm in my thirties and peer pressure seems to have shifted a bit. Instead of "don't give in, you'll ruin your life" the pressure has become "don't do that, you'll ruin the lives of everyone around you." And of course, I'm talking about politics.
We're a few days from Election '08 and the debate between Obama and McCain rages on. And you know what? I'm sick of it. Really. Mostly becuase it's raging on among some of my friends whom I usually consider sane people. I can't stand talking about politics and yet here I am blogging about it. Go figure. I see the irony in that but I've gotta get a thing or two off my chest.
The thing that bugs me the most are the people who tell me (or infer) that if I vote this way it makes me less of a Christian. Unless I vote with you, I'm voting against God's will. Issue X is what matters the most and as a Christian we MUST vote "this" way. God would want me to vote for this guy and to do otherwise is to bring about the demise of the human race. This guy's stance on Issue Z offends you personally, so as fellow followers of Christ I must vote along with you and make it my most important issue as well.
I'll bring this down to extremely simple terms. It's kinda like buying a new house. What's the most important thing to you when you're looking to move? Price? The neighborhood? Condition of the house? School district? The crime rate? The color of the carpeting? Whether or not it has a garage? Proximity to the grocery store?
I realize it's not the best analogy in the world and voter issues are much more important, but just because the school district is the thing you feel most passionate about when you buy a home, why does it have to be my most important issue just because we both call ourselves a Christian? And because you feel most passionate about the school district, why does that automaically mean God feels the same? And if I make my decision based on the neighborhood rather than the school district, what right do you have to tell me that's not the Christian thing to do?
I'm not going to use this blog to push one candidate over the other because, frankly, I feel that says my opinion is more important and bears more weight than yours. Especially if you disagree. And it's just not true.
Sadly, though, I realize that's what's starting to happen around me.
Maybe this sounds insensitive, but you need to settle the freak down. This may come to you as a news flash but guess what? I don't think either of these candidates are bigger than God. Neither one of them is big enough to stop what Gods wants to happen. He's God, and He's pulled His people through situations a lot worse than President McCain or President Obama. To push the idea that God can't work or do His thing if this guy is elected over that guy...I don't know...I don't know about you but I never want to be accused of robbing God of His power.
How about this: You vote for who you feel would work out best, and I'll do the same. And when the dust settles and some of us are happy with the outcome and some of us aren't, we all continue to keep praying for each other, the country, the world, and yes, even the President. Even if he's The Evil One you didn't vote for.
Hassled by the Man
Yesterday I got a message from YouTube informing me that one of my videos was in violation of copyright something-or-other. The video in question? A minute-and-a-half video I made to the song "Lady Marmalade" where I re-created shot-by-shot the first part of the original video starring Christina Aguilera, Pink, Mya, and Li'l Kim. Only I used barnyard animal puppets instead.
YouTube tells me UMG (Universal Music Group) claims the copyright is theirs. I assume they mean the music, because I kind of doubt they own the copyright on barnyard animal puppets prancing around. Or maybe they do. I mean, have you seen the original video?
YouTube went on to tell me that the video is still available because UMG doesn't object to it being on YouTube. Thanks, UMG!
But one thing I'm fuzzy on...I couldn't understand why for the life of me UMG is concerned about a song that was popular eight years ago. Are they still keeping an eye on the chart movement of the Moulin Rouge soundtrack? I think it's safe to say they can move on to more current releases, like Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights and Home Alone 3.
YouTube also let me know that UMG will be monitoring how many hits my video gets. So basically, they want me to quit acting up. I'm not in trouble...but they're watching me.
But let's be honest, Universal Music Group. You owe me one. Sarah and I went to California for a wedding earlier this year and I wanted to take Sarah to my favorite California tourist attraction, Universal Studios. But you were closed. CLOSED. All because you guys were too busy burning down your back lot. So the least you can do is let me have my barnyard animal puppet video in peace. And also cast me in your next film.
Deal?
YouTube tells me UMG (Universal Music Group) claims the copyright is theirs. I assume they mean the music, because I kind of doubt they own the copyright on barnyard animal puppets prancing around. Or maybe they do. I mean, have you seen the original video?
YouTube went on to tell me that the video is still available because UMG doesn't object to it being on YouTube. Thanks, UMG!
But one thing I'm fuzzy on...I couldn't understand why for the life of me UMG is concerned about a song that was popular eight years ago. Are they still keeping an eye on the chart movement of the Moulin Rouge soundtrack? I think it's safe to say they can move on to more current releases, like Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights and Home Alone 3.
YouTube also let me know that UMG will be monitoring how many hits my video gets. So basically, they want me to quit acting up. I'm not in trouble...but they're watching me.
But let's be honest, Universal Music Group. You owe me one. Sarah and I went to California for a wedding earlier this year and I wanted to take Sarah to my favorite California tourist attraction, Universal Studios. But you were closed. CLOSED. All because you guys were too busy burning down your back lot. So the least you can do is let me have my barnyard animal puppet video in peace. And also cast me in your next film.
Deal?
***
This is the stupid little video whose existence poses to take down the Universal Music Group empire. SO WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T WATCH IT!!
Monday, October 20, 2008
A Morning Conversation
A comedian, I forget who, maybe it was Karl Pilkington, once talked about old married couples and the fact that they often just sit in silence because they've run out of things to talk about. I don't think that will ever happen with Sarah and me. Behold, our in-depth conversation we had at 5:45 this morning:
I was coming out of the bathroom and walked past our cat Mai, who was laying next to the radiator. If you've seen our cat (a long haired calico) then you know she is 14.5 pounds of hair with a head.
Me: I can't believe Mai is laying right up against the radiator like that. You'd think with all that hair she'd get hot.
Sarah: Maybe she likes to sweat.
Me: Do cats sweat? I heard dogs sweat through their tongue.
Sarah: I don't think I've ever seen a cat exert enough energy to sweat.
Me: I bet if a cat sweats, it dies.
Sarah: First sign of a cat dying. "Cat breaks out in sweat."
Me: (typing "do cats sweat" at Google) I'll find out.
Pause while my laptop loses internet connection.
Sarah: Did you ask Jeeves?
Ed: Nah. I gave up and blogged about this instead.
I was coming out of the bathroom and walked past our cat Mai, who was laying next to the radiator. If you've seen our cat (a long haired calico) then you know she is 14.5 pounds of hair with a head.
Me: I can't believe Mai is laying right up against the radiator like that. You'd think with all that hair she'd get hot.
Sarah: Maybe she likes to sweat.
Me: Do cats sweat? I heard dogs sweat through their tongue.
Sarah: I don't think I've ever seen a cat exert enough energy to sweat.
Me: I bet if a cat sweats, it dies.
Sarah: First sign of a cat dying. "Cat breaks out in sweat."
Me: (typing "do cats sweat" at Google) I'll find out.
Pause while my laptop loses internet connection.
Sarah: Did you ask Jeeves?
Ed: Nah. I gave up and blogged about this instead.
Friday, October 17, 2008
"The Blanket" Debuts
Well, after rambling on and on about the short film I've been working on, it's finally finished. It's called "The Blanket" and you can either watch it by CLICKING HERE or by watching it below.
My thanks to John & Lisa Blowers for agreeing to star in the film and allowing me to let their son yell at them on camera. Thanks to my good buddy Gabe Patillo for the music and my friends Doney and Ashlea for popping into the studio to lend their voices. And of course, thanks Sarah. It's way too easy to make you look good. :)
My thanks to John & Lisa Blowers for agreeing to star in the film and allowing me to let their son yell at them on camera. Thanks to my good buddy Gabe Patillo for the music and my friends Doney and Ashlea for popping into the studio to lend their voices. And of course, thanks Sarah. It's way too easy to make you look good. :)
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
I'm Ed, and I approve this message
Someone just told me about the 2008 Blogger's Choice Awards. Two days before voting is over. Oh well. I thought I'd sign up for the Best Humor Blog category for something to do on a Tuesday.
So, if you feel like it (and if you think this blog is sort of humorous), swing by and vote for this disjointed group of posts I call a blog.
Thanks!
Ed
So, if you feel like it (and if you think this blog is sort of humorous), swing by and vote for this disjointed group of posts I call a blog.
Thanks!
Ed
Why Even Promote It?
Yesterday Sarah and I were out and about. It was one of those situations where we hadn't eaten for a while. We weren't very hungry; we were kinda thirsty. We knew we should probably get something small to eat and/or drink but we didn't know what.
We were driving past the Lancaster campus of HACC (Harrisburg Area Community College) and I saw a coffee shop I'd never tried before. It was a relatively new building with a professional-looking light tan brick exterior. The signs outside were printed in a very upscale button-down font. It was called Gold Cafe and the steaming cup of coffee on the logo was enticing.
Figuring they would probably have light snacks as well, I recommended we give it a try. We pulled in next to the drive-thru lane and Sarah said, "I think this is a bank."
I was about to remind her of all of the coffee signs outside the building, but something inside told me she may be right. Sure enough, as we got out of the car and approached the front door (and one of their signs) I saw that in smaller print underneath where it said "Gold Cafe" it also had printed Union National Community Bank.
We walked in and to our right was a small seating area with tables and chairs. In front of us was indeed a coffee shop counter. And to our left was a bank lobby. I was about to say, "How weird is this? A coffee shop and a bank" but then I realized all of the coffee makers had plastic covers on them. The counter was dark and there weren't many lights on in the seating area. There were two large coffee dispensing canisters on the counter labeled "REGULAR" and "DECAF" with a small stack of paper cups beside them. On the specials board it said, "Talk to our manager about opening an account today!"
I shifted my somewhat stunned look to the bank lobby. There were two men in business suits sitting, conversing, and not eating or drinking coffee. They didn't acknowledge that Sarah and I were standing in the middle of the lobby, still perplexed that a bank had lured us in by posing as a coffee shop.
"What is this?" I asked as we turned around and walked out. As I think about it now, it didn't look like a bank or a coffee shop. It looked like one of those churches that have coffee shops inside of them but it was all dark because it was a Monday afternoon.
As we pulled out I noticed that the drive-thru was actually a bank teller drive-thru. What a mean, mean trick! To pose as a coffee shop and really just be a bank? That's low, people. That's like when your friend asks you if you want to go out to eat and you find out that it's really a business pitch for some new pyramid scheme they've gotten into. How dare you tell me you have coffee when you're really a freakin' bank and the only coffee you have is something that was probably brewed six hours earlier sitting in an aluminum tank?
I found this promotional picture for the Gold Cafe online.
Please note that
A) People are actually there
B) There are baristas present
C) The lights are on
D) From the outside, it does indeed look like a fancy coffee shop
E) Union National Community Bank are tricky tricksters
Shame on you, Bank-Posing-As-Coffee-Shop.
We were driving past the Lancaster campus of HACC (Harrisburg Area Community College) and I saw a coffee shop I'd never tried before. It was a relatively new building with a professional-looking light tan brick exterior. The signs outside were printed in a very upscale button-down font. It was called Gold Cafe and the steaming cup of coffee on the logo was enticing.
Figuring they would probably have light snacks as well, I recommended we give it a try. We pulled in next to the drive-thru lane and Sarah said, "I think this is a bank."
I was about to remind her of all of the coffee signs outside the building, but something inside told me she may be right. Sure enough, as we got out of the car and approached the front door (and one of their signs) I saw that in smaller print underneath where it said "Gold Cafe" it also had printed Union National Community Bank.
We walked in and to our right was a small seating area with tables and chairs. In front of us was indeed a coffee shop counter. And to our left was a bank lobby. I was about to say, "How weird is this? A coffee shop and a bank" but then I realized all of the coffee makers had plastic covers on them. The counter was dark and there weren't many lights on in the seating area. There were two large coffee dispensing canisters on the counter labeled "REGULAR" and "DECAF" with a small stack of paper cups beside them. On the specials board it said, "Talk to our manager about opening an account today!"
I shifted my somewhat stunned look to the bank lobby. There were two men in business suits sitting, conversing, and not eating or drinking coffee. They didn't acknowledge that Sarah and I were standing in the middle of the lobby, still perplexed that a bank had lured us in by posing as a coffee shop.
"What is this?" I asked as we turned around and walked out. As I think about it now, it didn't look like a bank or a coffee shop. It looked like one of those churches that have coffee shops inside of them but it was all dark because it was a Monday afternoon.
As we pulled out I noticed that the drive-thru was actually a bank teller drive-thru. What a mean, mean trick! To pose as a coffee shop and really just be a bank? That's low, people. That's like when your friend asks you if you want to go out to eat and you find out that it's really a business pitch for some new pyramid scheme they've gotten into. How dare you tell me you have coffee when you're really a freakin' bank and the only coffee you have is something that was probably brewed six hours earlier sitting in an aluminum tank?
I found this promotional picture for the Gold Cafe online.
Please note that
A) People are actually there
B) There are baristas present
C) The lights are on
D) From the outside, it does indeed look like a fancy coffee shop
E) Union National Community Bank are tricky tricksters
Shame on you, Bank-Posing-As-Coffee-Shop.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Reality Check
The first time the ending was spoiled for me, it was 1987. I had just told a girl in high school I was going to see Ferris Bueller's Day Off that night. Her response was, "That movie was so stupid. He wrecks his friend's car at the end." The girl's name was Jennifer Case and I don't think I'll ever forget her name.
Although I've been known to get hooked on a season or two of various reality shows (Season one of Survivor and last year's American Idol) in general I'm not a huge fan of reality TV. But I have to confess over the last few seasons I have become a fan of The Amazing Race.
Last night I was flipping through the channels and came across an episode beginning. I was pretty stoked, as I hadn't realized the season was beginning! And then of course, I heard the announcer say, "Previously on The Amazing Race..."
I quickly flipped off the television, as I didn't want to give anything away. It started already?! I went online to download the episode I missed only to find I had missd the first two episodes! How did this happen? We're on week three already?!
Today at work I was re-telling the story to Ann in the office who is also a fan of the show. "How could you not tell me it started?" I jokingly reprimanded. I told her I hadn't watched either of the first two episodes yet but am excited to catch up. And then Ann proceeded to not only tell me who got eliminated in the first show, but also who is still in the running.
Can someone please tell me what it is about me that makes people want to tell me the endings of movies/TV shows after I tell them I haven't seen it yet?
Although I've been known to get hooked on a season or two of various reality shows (Season one of Survivor and last year's American Idol) in general I'm not a huge fan of reality TV. But I have to confess over the last few seasons I have become a fan of The Amazing Race.
Last night I was flipping through the channels and came across an episode beginning. I was pretty stoked, as I hadn't realized the season was beginning! And then of course, I heard the announcer say, "Previously on The Amazing Race..."
I quickly flipped off the television, as I didn't want to give anything away. It started already?! I went online to download the episode I missed only to find I had missd the first two episodes! How did this happen? We're on week three already?!
Today at work I was re-telling the story to Ann in the office who is also a fan of the show. "How could you not tell me it started?" I jokingly reprimanded. I told her I hadn't watched either of the first two episodes yet but am excited to catch up. And then Ann proceeded to not only tell me who got eliminated in the first show, but also who is still in the running.
Can someone please tell me what it is about me that makes people want to tell me the endings of movies/TV shows after I tell them I haven't seen it yet?
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Sorry, Mai
I heard that a dog's sense of smell is incredible compared to humans. I wonder if it's the same with cats. If so, then I publicly apologize to my cat about the litter box.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Doodlin'
It's been a few days since my last post, but don't let that lead you to believe I've been resting on my laurels. I've been doing a little doodling lately. Here are a couple of things I did today and yesterday:
I even opened a new Flickr account to post my doodles. They go all the way back to 1988 when I designed the cover of my High School Newspaper for the Special "Senior" Edition.
Enjoy the art and I'll see what I can do about getting a new blog to you soon.
I even opened a new Flickr account to post my doodles. They go all the way back to 1988 when I designed the cover of my High School Newspaper for the Special "Senior" Edition.
Enjoy the art and I'll see what I can do about getting a new blog to you soon.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Weekend Video Recap
I could tell you what Sarah and I did this weekend, the shows we watched, the games we played, but quite honestly I'm too lazy to do that right now. So instead of telling, I'm showing.
Actually, the last one we didn't really watch all the way through. We got it from Netflix and the disc was so banged up it wouldn't finish playing. So we're looking forward to watching the second half.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Spamming Back
OK, so I don't really discuss politics in this blog...except maybe for the blog about Sarah's comment about McCain but seriously, I couldn't not write about that one. I shy away from politics not because I find it boring and, as a result, I find myself fairly uninformed (both of which are true) but honestly people who talk politics annoy me almost to the point of rage. When someone decides they want to try to convince me their political point of view is the One True View, I have to admit the more they talk and the more passionate they are, the more I find myself siding with the other party.
That being said, I found myself particularly annoyed when I heard about an email my friend Ashlea received. I asked her to send it to me so I could check it out for myself. Here it is in its original form...actually, there are a couple omissions, but I'll tell you about them when you get there:
Don't get me wrong. This email didn't annoy me because I'm a particularly fervent McCain/Palin supporter. It annoyed me because I hate spam. And for some reason (probably because I knew I'd end up writing about it here) I decided to send them a letter in response. I know, I know, the return email address is probably a dummy address that doesn't go anywhere, but I still had fun putting my reply together.
That being said, I found myself particularly annoyed when I heard about an email my friend Ashlea received. I asked her to send it to me so I could check it out for myself. Here it is in its original form...actually, there are a couple omissions, but I'll tell you about them when you get there:
Hi. I got your e-mail address from a listing of public media contact names. I'm writing to ask you for two things.
First:
Please personally spread this e-mail around to everyone you know, especially friends who are undecided or recently switched to the GOP because of Sarah Palin.
Here she is laughing while a political opponent of hers, who is a cancer survivor, is called a bitch and a cancer:There was a link provided here, but since I'm not really up for helping out, it's not here any more.And here's some commentary about it:Same with the commentary. If you wanna do more reading, why not start at my blogs from the very beginning.Also, while Mayor of Wasilla, Sarah Palin had the city charge rape victims for the rape kits used in their cases! Wasilla was the only city in Alaska that did this, and eventually, the state legislature had to pass a bill to stop it.Yea, I know, bla bla bla, more links that I didn't bother clicking on used to reside here.We can't let this horrible person come within a 71 year old heartbeat of the Presidency!!!Second, please encourage your media outlet to cover these stories if it hasn't already. Many people are being drawn to the McCain/Palin ticket because of an image of Sarah Palin that is a pure PR creation, and the American media needs to correct it. Also, consider that if either of the Democratic candidates had anything like this in their past records, FOX News would be broadcasting it every hour on the hour as the lead story every day from now until November!Thank you for your time.
Don't get me wrong. This email didn't annoy me because I'm a particularly fervent McCain/Palin supporter. It annoyed me because I hate spam. And for some reason (probably because I knew I'd end up writing about it here) I decided to send them a letter in response. I know, I know, the return email address is probably a dummy address that doesn't go anywhere, but I still had fun putting my reply together.
Hi. I got your e-mail address from a friend of mine you spammed. I'm writing to ask you for two things.
First:
Please personally do your own work and stop being lazy and trying to get others to do it for you. Are you willing to go to the jobs of the people you write and do their work for them? Or is this just a one way street? If you expect us to do your campaigning for you, then are you willing to come to my house and wash my car? Give and take, dude/ma'am/nameless writer. Do you always approach complete strangers and ask them for favors? Do you walk down the street and randomly ask people to pick up your laundry or whip up some food for dinner?
Here's a video link you never asked to see. It's a parrot eating a grilled cheese sandwich:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SylJpiWNfCM
Second:
Please consider the fact that the more you spam people about your politics, the angrier they become at the agenda you're trying to push. You're like a viral Jehovah's Witness, except without the nice clothing or grasp of social graces.
Thank you for your time.
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