I Should Have Known This

This is an embarrassing blog to write, I'll be honest. I hate to uphold the stereotype of the naive American, but I had to write about this because my lack of education surprised even myself.

When I was 30 years old, I learned that England was on an island. I never knew it was not connected to the north of France and the west of Germany, and when this information finally dawned on me (I don't recall the exact circumstances of how I learned this) I felt like an idiot. How could I not know this? In my head I apologized to all Europeans for not knowing what should have been a very obvious geographical fact.

A couple of days ago I was looking at a map of Europe in a book I'm reading and suddenly became very confused. This couldn't be right, could it? I stared at the map and stared at the map and then double-checked Google maps to make sure that the book I was looking at hadn't altered the map for it's own humorous and/or fictional purposes. They hadn't. The map was accurate. Apparently England and Scotland are on the same island.

What?

I always thought (or at least, since I was 30, I thought) Ireland was its own island country, then Scotland was on its own, then England, and then all the rest of Europe was together on the rest of the continent. Nope. There's Scotland and then riiiiiight at the Southern end of the island is England.

This seriously blew my mind. I was alone at the time, but when it clicked in my head I still shouted aloud to no one, "I'm 40 and I just found this out?!" (I'm actually not 40 until the end of the year, but still.)

This time I am making my apology public.

I'm sorry, Europe, for not knowing your geography better than I should. I swear I'm not one of those stupid, self-absorbed Americans with no respect for anyone else. I love you guys. I suppose I could take the easy way out and blame the public school system, but who knows. More than likely while the rest of the class was studying geography like they should have, I was too busy replaying episodes of The Muppet Show in my head.

I promise to try to do better.

A Message from a Pervert

Shortly after posting my funny video about my friend being able to pick up Jell-O with their feet, I received this private message from a YouTube user going by the name gervilinf2010:

"i want see more about her feet"

Congratulations, pal, you're today's Perv O' The Day! You've earned a year's supply of cool hipster glasses and an additional year's stay at your parents' house free of charge! But wait, there's more! You've also been enrolled in Adrian Cronhaur's "Basic English for Mongoloids 101" at your local community college.

A winner on so many levels indeed.

Taking a Quick "Tom" Out

We interrupt this seemingly endless stream of posts about last year's trip to Ireland to direct your attention to the extremely talented cartoonist/caricaturist Tom Richmond. Not only is he a regular contributor to MAD Magazine (and countless other outlets), but he has a blog he keeps up on a regular basis. How he has time to crank out these amazing works of art and keep up a blog, I'll never know.

I like to pick up the pen and doodle from time to time. Sometimes I'm actually happy with how it turns out. And sometimes, I'm not. There's a reason I've always referred to myself as a "doodler" and not as an "artist": I recognize the fact that I don't have the patience to do what it takes to actually better my craft. I think I could be pretty good, I just don't wanna work at it. Wow, how bad does that sound? But at least it's honest. I grab my pen and I draw and whatever happens happens (I know I'm supposed to pencil it out first and get that rough sketch going, but by the time I've drawn something once, I've pretty much lost interest and want to move on.) Usually if I try to doodle someone and it doesn't work out by the second attempt, I'm over it. I wonder if there's a such thing as artistic A.D.D.? If you don't think so, then let me introduce you to the guitar I bought but never learned, the keyboard I bought but never learned (except for Dana Carvey's "Choppin' Broccoli;" I taught myself that and I'm pretty proud of it), and the ukulele I borrowed but never learned.

Which is why I love Tom Richmond's blog (you thought I lost my place, didn't ya?). If nothing else, his blog shows exactly just how much of a pro he is. You can't read one of his entries and not get a feel for how much he loves what he's doing. It's his passion, and it shows. You gotta admire that. This guy doesn't just doodle. He works.

For someone like me who enjoys the How-They-Did-It bonus features on a DVD as much as the film itself (and sometimes more. Hello, Forrest Gump), Tom's blog is a great peek behind the curtain to see what the wizard is doing and how he does it. He writes about projects he's working on, posts rough sketches to show before-and-after progress, and even supplies a sketch o' the week. Tom also blogs about things he finds interesting and passes them along, which is how I found out about (and ended up submitting to) National Doodle Day.

Every Sunday he fields questions from his readers and, not only answers them, but he answers them. Growing up a MAD reader myself, I always wondered about the caricaturists who drew the TV and movie parodies and the people in the background of the cartoons. Were they also caricatures of real people, or just figments of the artists' imaginations? Well, today I got my answer.

If, like me, you love your Google Reader (or whatever blog notification updater thing you use) then you'll want to add Tom's blog to your stream. You won't be disappointed.

Ed's note: It just hit me that Tom is the second MAD artist I've gushed about in the last three months (I wrote about my encounter with Sam Vivano back in December).  Apparently there's something about that publication that attracts good people. Either that, or I'm just looking for an excuse to read MAD and almost be 40 at the same time.

Re-Visiting Ireland 5

Re-Visiting Ireland 4

A continuation of the expanded series of our Ireland trip from last year. Instead of condensing all of our footage into a few short movies (as I did in our daily re-caps), I am stretching our footage out into shorter, easily-digestible vignettes in order to include scenes that were cut out of the original series. Enjoy!

More to come...

Oscar 2010: Best/Worst Dressed List!

Who was dressed like a hottie (or a nottie) at last night's Academy Awards?

Who was wearing what on the red carpet?

Who are people raving about and who are people sniggering at?

Seriously, who gives a crap?

Brag on Dad

Parents have the right to brag about their kids. Sure, people without kids might get tired of it, but they still have that right. And likewise, kids have the right to brag about their parents.

For example:

Movie Studio Theme Songs

What's it like watching a movie with Sarah? Depending on the movie, the first few seconds go something like this:

Practice Safe Googling

Tonight Facebook decided this ad was for me:

Something tells me if anyone Googles this girl, they're going to need a prescription afterward.

Reason # 583 Why I Love CraigsList

Saw this posting on the Lancaster PA Craigslist site:

Filmmaker seeks actors and other talent who have something to "bring to the table." Access to financing is a top consideration. Locations, equipment, editing, music, or anything else that may be useful to a film production. Creative roles available in short and feature projects in development. Please send basic info about yourself, what you do, and what you have to offer.

In other words:

"Hey, who wants to give me a bunch of money and then make a movie for me?"

Atop the Kimmel Center

While I was in Philadelphia, our pal Ralph was kind enough to stop by the city and show me some of his favorite sites in the city, which included some of his secret spots to snap photographs. It was really cool to see the city not from the viewpoint of a tourist guide but from the point of view of a photographer.

It was also really good to touch base with a friend again whom we see on a not-regular-enough basis. Ralph took me to the roof of the Kimmel Center, which just begs to be photographed. Ralph and I couldn't help but oblige.

Food in Philly

Sarah and I hit the town in search of something to eat. My pal Ralph showed me some of the sights earlier in the day and, now armed with my knowledge of the city, took Sarah to eat at one of the places Ralph recommended. There was a 40-50 minute wait at "The Continental" and the place was definitely too cool for me.

From there we walked down to option #2, a Mexican restaurant named El Vez. At least, by day it's a restaurant. By night it too had magically transformed into some cool hip dance club from the 80s and we were told the wait there would be 2 hours.

So, Sarah and I just turned around, went back to the hotel, and ate at the Thai restaurant downstairs. It was worth the wait.

Real (Bad) Time

Every time I go on vacation and stay in a hotel with free HBO, the same thing happens. I watch Real Time with Bill Maher and am reminded how much I can't stand this guy. Or his huge smarmy Crisco-blotted head.

It's like I have some weird kind of short-term memory.

"Oh hey, maybe NOW I'll like him."

(Five minutes later)

"Nope."

Body Works

Yep, Sarah and I made it to body works. We weren't allowed to take pictures inside, so if you aren't familiar with this science/art exhibit, here's what it is: Some crazy guy took a bunch of actual human bodies, peeled the skin off, plasticized them, and then stuck them in plastic cases for the rest of us to look at. It's really fascinating, but at the same time, reminds me that Hannibal Lecter is still on the loose, and now his handiwork is considered educational.

Hangin' wif Ben

Part 2 of my first day in Philadelphia continues. I learned that turning left out of our hotel is much more interesting than turning right. Left takes me to the Free Library, The Franklin Institute and, I think, the museum of natural history. I know what I'll be doing tomorrow.

While I wait for Sarah to return from her Zumba class, I'm posting this. Maybe we'll hit Body Works tonight, maybe we won't. If we do, you know I'll be blogging about it. :)

Seriously...Do You Hear That?

I was waiting for the elevator to go downstairs and I heard...well...this.

I thought this was the kind of thing that only happened in the movies. Part of me wants a translator and part of me really doesn't.

Philadelphia's Unknown Sights

Sarah and I are in Philadelphia for the weekend; she is attending a Zumba conference and I....well...I'm just hangin' out and doing whatever I want. It's a little weird, though, because I really don't know anything about Philadelphia. It's a weird city to walk around, because I seem to be surrounded by roundabouts. Some of them are on one-way streets, some of them aren't, some of them have Walk/Don't Walk signs, and some don't, so it's just kind of a random "go when you can and hope you don't get hit" feel sometimes.

I walked around a bit this morning to take in some sites, but it's hard to do when you don't know what you're looking at or what you're looking for. So I would just wander around and look at the old buildings. Most of them look like museums or libraries but so far most of them turn out to be insurance companies or banks. Other buildings look like they have some cool history, but when I approach them, scary bums come popping out of the shadows and freak me out.

The city hall building is cool, but a lot of it is underground and in shadow, and well...let's just say there are a lot of places for creepy bums to hide and freak me out.

I did find Chinatown. So there's that.

This is what I've done so far. I'll keep you posted on my next venture out.

Zoo in Space

I'll be honest: I'm really pleased with the video Phredd asked me to put together for the song "Zoo in Space" from his new album Phreddtastic. He came to me with the idea of compiling a bunch of stock footage clips to put with the song and I had a good time going through old NASA footage and royalty-free cartoons.

Here's the final product, as can be seen on Phredd's Youtube page, along with more music to keep your ukulele-lovin' foot tapping.

Shakespeare for Dummies

Sarah and I saw went to Pittsburgh to see our friend JT in a performance of "A Midsummer's Night Dream." The cast did a stellar job, and by the end of the show we (and the rest of the audience) were howling with laughter. Because neither of us are well-versed in the Bard and his style, we had a little trouble figuring out what was going on. This was through no fault of the cast...I blame the playwright who sometimes rhymes, sometimes doesn't, sometimes uses flowery analogy I don't understand, and sometimes backwards speaks. I freely admit, there were portions of the play where I needed help. I just wasn't following ya, Bill. What was the deal was with the King and Queen...Fairy? I think? And who in the world was "the boy" they were fighting over? And what the eff is Puck?

Also, it was the only time I'd ever been to a play (let alone a Shakespeare play) where I was sitting next to a couple totally making out during the show. I guess that's what we get for going during Valentine's weekend, but come on. If you're in your thirties, you'd think you'd at least have some theater etiquette. But not these two. They showed up 10 minutes late, the lady took a phone call during the show, and then they sailed through the second act playing tonsil hockey like a couple of kids in the 1950's at a drive-in movie.

Yikes.

During the intermission Sarah and I discussed the play so far and came to the conclusion that we know a lot about a lot of things but Shakespeare isn't one of them.

I feel the need to clarify that Sarah and I really did enjoy the show and, again, by the end, the audience was howling with laughter. We just wanted them to fast-forward all the dancing fairies and get back to our pal JT.

Yellow Pages to the Ground!

Seriously, WHO is still using the Yellow Pages? Hasn't the internet made this 50-lb waste of paper obsolete yet? Why are people still paying to place ads in this thing when your business is just a click away online?

Fortunately, Kristi and I found a practical use for them.

The Not-So Long Walk Home

Sarah and I walked home from the coffee shop after a fun time learning about roasting coffee. If walking home doesn't sound very interesting to you, then you've obviously never walked home with Sarah.

Yet Another Day in the Snow

Sarah and I decided to venture out into the Pensylvania snowstorm, despite the newscasters begging us to stay home. After a brief return into the house for Sarah's snowboard goggles, we were on the way to our destination: Square One Coffee!

Just as we were finishing up our game of Phase 10, Josh, Square One's owner and roasting guru, asked us if we'd like to watch him roast some coffee. We jumped at the opportunity and, with his permission, rolled video. And for those of you new to the idea of editing, despite the length of the video, no, the roasting process doesn't take a mere 3-1/2 minutes. Unless you want really bad coffee.

Snow End in Sight

The snow in Lancaster PA continues, and so do the trips to the parking garage, Square One Coffee, and interesting conversation.

Bullcrap Jingle

There's a commercial on TV that drives me NUTS. It's a promo for Bulldog Lawyers (dot com), just one of the billions of 1-800 lawyers who advertise during what I call "Judge TV," that time in the early afternoon when shows like Judge Alex, Judge Joe Brown, and Judge Judy rule the airwaves.

The marketing gurus at Bulldog Lawyers (dot com) decided to make their ad stand out by composing a jingle that would not only be bad, but be sung badly, too. After airing a few times this afternoon, I'd had enough. I went to their website to yell at them about their ad and find out who this tone deaf over-smiling jingle man is who sings their song.

Much to my surprise, they have a chat feature on their website and I immediately logged in and began speaking with Bulldog Vicky.

Vicky: Do you have a question I can help you with?
Guest: Hi. Who sings the "Bulldog Lawyers dot com"  jingle?

At this point, there is a 4-minute lag in the conversation. Then, Bulldog Vicky returns:

Vicky: I don't have an answer.
Vicky: Do you have a question about a pending lawsuit I can help you with?
Guest: No. I just wanted to know who sings that jingle.
Vicky: Maybe if you call our staff they can help you.

Vicky was no help. Turns out she's not a Bulldog Website Chat Answer Person. Dot com.

PS. Sarah came in to the living room as I was typing this. She saw my snickering and asked what I was doing. "Blogging," I told her. "About what?" she asked me. "Bulldog Lawyers dot com," I answered, laughing. Sarah rolled her eyes and smiled. She already knows how I feel about them. Then she sat down next to me on the couch, leaned her head on my shoulder, called me a nerd, and watched the rest of Judge Judy with me.

Snowstorms Are Cool. Coffee is Better.

This takes place a couple days after my previous post. Sarah and I are off to get our car out of the Emergency Blizzard parking garage. But coffee is our real motivation.

Snow Problem at All

This weekend, Lancaster got hit with some snow. Because we live on a "Snow Emergency" street, we aren't allowed to park in front of our place. The City of Lancaster opens up a number of garages to park our vehicles for free during the storm. You might think it would be a bit of an inconvenience to park 15 minutes away, but it's not. I actually like the walk, and it gives you a nice chance to enjoy the beauty of the city covered in snow (the fact that the nearest garage is directly across the street from our favorite coffee shop doesn't hurt, either).





[caption id="attachment_1472" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="All bundled up and ready to leave the parking garage and make the trek home"][/caption]



[caption id="attachment_1471" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="Right around the corner from the parking garage is this cemetery"][/caption]

A Walk in the Snow

Our friend Alyssa is showing her photography at our favorite Lancaster coffee shop, Square One Coffee. Sarah and I walked down for the big debut, just as a monster snowstorm began to hit our area. It made for a fun walk.

Chevy Helpin' Haiti

Chevy Chase at the Hope for Haiti benefit. How clueless does he look? And is it just me, or near the end does it look like he just decides to play "talk on the phone"?

The "Lost" Pinata

Sarah and I held our weekly "Lost" viewing party last night. Big deal, right? I'm sure there were a countless number of people having similar gatherings, especially since it was the season premiere of the final season.

We decided to turn it into a taco party. I freely admit we may not have been the only one to do that; tacos are easy to make and loved by all.

It's probably pretty safe to say that no other party featured a unicorn pinata.

This baby is about to find out that even the black smoke is no match for Tyler's power punch.

 

Heather Hearts Sleep

I'll be the first to admit I love catching a few Z's in front of the TV or sleeping in on a weekend. Someone named Heather loves sleep so much, she felt the urge to scribble the sentiment on the front and back of a dollar bill.





I feel bad for VA. They got second billing. Sleep got top billing.

Hey, Heather, guess what? You're an idiot.

A Post-Grammy Request

Ok. The Grammys are over. As much as I sort-of not-really enjoyed the 3D tribute to Avatar,  can we all just agree to let Michael Jackson be dead?

Thanks,

Ed

Reading Dip

As far as number-of-books-read-per-year goes, 2009 was a bust. In 2008 I read 24 books. 29 in 2006, and 27 in 2005. I only read nine books last year. Nine? If you know me, that's unacceptable. I blame Mario Kart, Seasons 1-5 of Saturday Night Live on DVD, and the fact that I doodled more in the past year than all previous years combined.

So it's not like I wasn't doing something, I just wasn't doing a lot of reading. I'll try to make up for it this year. I'm almost finished with my third book of 2010, but it came with a price: my doodling numbers have plummeted.

Hm.

The Facts of Amish Life

Yesterday when Sarah and I got home, there were five Amish girls coming out of our apartment building. My first honest reaction was, "Oh, we're at the wrong address." Four of the girls looked to be in their 20s and they were accompanied by an older heavyset lady with a friendly smile.

One of the girls was having trouble locking the front door as we approached.

"Don't worry about it, we're going in, we'll get it," Sarah said. The Amish girl smiled. "Are you guys moving in?" Sarah sounded hopeful.

"No," the girl smiled, they just hired us to clean upstairs.

My first thought was, "Wow, our upstairs neighbors are really lazy."

My second thought was, "How amazing would that have been if they were moving upstairs. That would have been comedy gold. It would be like living below the Amish version of The Facts of Life."

Avatar: Congrats?

Recently Avatar became the highest-grossing movie of all time.

Really?

Is it really that amazing? Or is it just because of the 3D aspect and the higher ticket-price to see it in 3D that jacked up the final dollar count? Is the movie itself that much better than every other sci-fi film that comes down the pike?

I don't know, even with all the hype about the amazing 3D technology and how beautiful the film is and how James Cameron is the world's most unrecognized genius, I still walked away asking myself what the hoopla was all about.

I guess it's cool to look at for the first 20 minutes until you realize you're not really looking at anything. Kinda like Katy Perry in a diamond-studded dress. At first you're like "Oooh, sparkly" and then you realize "Wow, besides that, there really isn't anything there."

The New iPad!

Possible advertising slogans:

"iPad. Because you bought the iPhone on the first day, too. Sucker."

"Why pay less for a PC when you can pay more for what we market as being cooler?"

"Impress your friends. For about 10 minutes."

"iPad. From Apple. Do we know how to get you to pay to overcompensate for something else, or what?"

"Because a nerd with expensive toys is just a nerd with expensive toys.
But mostly just a nerd."

Top 10 Movies of 2009...and Then Some (Keith Soljacich Edition)

It's my pleasure again to send out my top 10 movies and more!  Take a read and let me know what you think... am I crazy, am I nuts, am I right?  Remember, enjoyment of movies is subjective and personal.  What I liked, you may not.  What you liked, I may not.  It's a free country bub and I love movies.

My Top 10 of 2009
1. Avatar - Marvelous.  One of the 3 best cinema experiences of my life.  I'll bet you a billion dollars 3D is the future of movies now.  Cameron would probably double-down.
2. District 9 - A director who absolutely owned his flick
3. Inglorious Basterds - I'm a sucker for Quentin, but so were a lot of other people
4. Star Trek - A solid solid solid action/sci-fi movie, and the second Trek movie I've seen (I saw the whale one when it came out, hence).  Just goes to show why JJ should have directed the prequels.
5. The Hurt Locker - Have you seen this?  You will.  Intense is an understatement.
6. The Hangover - Hysterical, funniest movie of the year.
7. Watchmen - Don't get me wrong and excellent movie but was missing that "thing"
8. Invictus - Morgan Freeman as Mandela.  I think this was Eastwood's middle finger to Spike Lee
9. The Messenger - Emotional roller-coaster ride of the year.  Tough movie to watch, but unforgettable
10. Gentlemen Broncos - I was one of 3 people in the theater laughing.  It's a cupcake for nerds.

My Predicted Top 10 From January 2008 and my comments at the time (comments now)
1. Watchmen - Unbelievable this is coming out, will be fantastic (Damn good but not #1)
2. Avatar - James Cameron is back, filmed in IMAX 3D (Wish I had placed this #1...so awesome)
3. Inglorious Basterds - New Tarantino (Yup - BADASS)
4. Observe & Report - Trust me (Pretty good but overall a disappointment)
6. Funny People - New Apatow flick with Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen about stand-up comedians (Ditto)
6. Wolverine - Looks good bub (Uck, this was a HUGE letdown)
7. Bruno - New Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat) movie, completes the Ali G trifecta (Damn funny, but not Top 10 material)
8. Terminator Salvation - John Conner+Christian Bale=Badass (Really good, I like it but not Top 10)
9. Public Enemies - Johnny Depp as John Dillinger, Michael Mann, filmed in Chicago, all good (Big Letdown... I was bored)
10. Shutter Island - New Scorcese flick takes place on an island that houses a prison for the insane (Didn't come out in 2009 so doesn't count)

Movies I Wish I Had Seen:
Where The Wild Things Are
Moon
Bronson
Up In The Air
The Road
The Lovely Bones
Ninja Assasin
Mystery Team

Movies I Will Never See (Ever):
Did You Hear About The Morgans?
Whip It
Taking of Pelham 123
The Soloist

My Top TV Series in 2009
1. LOST - Until it ends
2. Curb Your Enthusiasm - Danny Dooberstein!
3. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - 2009 was the year I finally gave in and I'm glad
4. Mad Men - Sit Down, Shut The Door best episode of TV this year
5. Eastbound & Down - So consistently funny
6. 30 Rock
7. The Office
8. Breaking Bad
9. Chuck
10. Fringe

Top 10 Movies To Look For in 2010
1. Iron Man 2 - WAR MACHINE
2. Kick Ass - Haven't heard of it?  You will.
3. Slammin Salmon - New one from the Super Troopers gang.  I'm a sucker for comedy.
4. Shutter Island - New Scorcese, been on hold for a bit
5. Alice in Wonderland (IMAX 3D) - Sure
6. MacGruber - The movie's in good hands and anyone who's seen Will Forte on anything but SNL knows he's a loon
7. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World - In the capable hands of Edgar Wright.  Might be the geekiest movie ever made
8. Predators - Sold
9. Inception - New Chris Nolan (Dark Knight) movie
10. Toy Story 3D - I'm a sucker for 3D
1,248. Twilight: The Turd One - Will they or won't they?  Who cares!

Am I Crazy?  2011 will be awesome!!!
1. Ghostbusters 3
2. Captain America
3. Thor
4. The Hobbit Part 1
5. Anchorman 2
6. The Hangover 2
7. Dinner For Schmucks
8. Sucker Punch
9. Green Lantern
10. Harry Potter & The Deathly Hollows Part 2

OK I'm Insane!!! 2012: The World Ends!!!!  Will Email Still Exist?
1. Batman 3 - Definitely
2. The Avengers - Definitely
3. Avatar 2?
4. The Hobbit Part 2
5. Indiana Jones 5
6. Kill Bill 3?
7. X-Men First Class
8. Spiderman Reboot - Not sure if this will be good yet

What do you think?  What were your 10 best?

Four

Four. That's how many times our cat has thrown up today. I only hope this means she has finally started to die. I know that's mean, but it's honest. I'm tired of scooping kitty litter.

Top Movies of 2009 (Ashlea Breneman Edition)

woohoo! i think i have my list, finally!

** i LOVE a good story. stories that make you think about life, love and the possibilities. these movies all had great stories in them...

10. Sunshine Cleaning i think amy adams and emily blunt are fantastic in this. the scene where amy is sitting on a porch with an old woman who just lost her husband is so precious to me.

9. Avatar first time i saw a 3-D movie in who knows how long... perhaps ever... so that is why it made my list. i just wish they took a little bit more time to develop the story line.

8. State of Play this movie didn't garner a ton of attention, but i thought it was an extremely well-written script that kept me guessing until the very end.

7. 17 Again yeah, it has Zac Efron in it. but he actually doesn't suck at acting. and for some reason i laughed the whole way through this film. and yes, maybe our hands did just make a baby

6. The Proposal helllooo ryan reynolds. sandra bullock - thank you for always giving me a mental picture whenever i hear usher's song "yeah" from now on.

5. Sherlock Holmes since the bourne saga has come to an end, i need a fun new spy, let me beat up some guys series. thank you sherlock holmes.

4. 500 Days of Summer i loved the way this film was put together showing the progress and the deterioration of the relationship. ending was a bit cliche and a letdown but the message they sent through the ending i liked. plus i learned a fun new game to play in public.

3. Up wow... who would have thought that a pixar film could so moving?!? i definitely didn't know what i was getting into before i watched this. the montage of carl and ellie's life is great. my personal book of stuff i'm going to do is already formed in my mind.

2. The Blind Side there was so much hype about this movie, but i think it was worth all of it. the power of our choices to dramatically impact the lives of others is displayed wonderfully. go sandra and tim mcgraw!

1. Away We Go loved, loved, loved this movie! it made me excited about life and the idea that i can choose anywhere to live this journey. plus, john krasinski made beards look good and screaming on a train so fun.

Top 10 Movies of 2009 (Brad Moist Edition)

here's my list....I was waiting because I was hoping to go see Up In The Air and Crazy Heart before the deadline but no such luck...

I look forward to this every December. So, here's my Top 10 from 2009 plus 5 that I give an Honorable Mention and 5 that I still want to see really bad. I've also decided to change it up a bit and add my favorite line from each film.

1. Star Trek - "I dare you to do better."
2. Up - "Squirel"
3. Avatar - "They're pissing on us and not even giving us the courtesy of calling it rain."
4. The Hurt Locker - "What's the best way to go about disarming one of these things?"    "The way you don't die."
5. District 9 - "And always remember that a smile is cheaper than a bullet."
6. Inglorious Basterds - We in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a boomin'."
7. The Hangover - "I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack."
8. Food, Inc
9. It Might Get Loud
10. Terminator Salvation  "What's that?"   "Two day old coyote. It's better than three day old coyote."

- Honorable Mention (in alphabetical order):
Away We Go
Carriers
500 Days of Summer
Taken
X-Men Origins: Wolverine

- 5 I Still Want To See:
Crazy Heart
Funny People
The Road
Up In The Air
Where The Wild Things Are

Top 10 Movies of 2009

Well, here they are, my pick for the ten best movies of the year. As I said in a previous blog, I'll admit I didn't get to see everything I wanted to see. I'll admit I wrote this list without yet being able to see SUNSHINE CLEANING, THE SOLOIST, THE INFORMANT!, THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS, THE BLIND SIDE, or THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG. So, if one of those movies made your top 10 list and not mine, well...my bad. But of all the other movies out there...here're my ten favorite:

1. INGLORIOUS BASTERDS - Wow. Tarantino does it again. Big time. At first I was shocked by how many elderly people were in the crowd at a Tarantino film, but then I realized if anyone was hungry to see history re-written so Hitler gets what he deserves, it would be people who were actually alive when it all went down.


2. UP - This movie could have consisted solely of the opening sequence showing the ups and downs of Carl & Ellie's relationship, and it would still be in my top 10 of the year. There's more storytelling in this 5-minute vignette than in most of the other movies that came out this year.


3. THE HANGOVER - This movie made me laugh more than any other movie this year. And for that, it gets to sit pretty at #3.


4. AWAY WE GO - I heard some people complain that the main characters in this movie were either A) Too smarmy or B) Too much in love with each other to be interesting. Really? Well, then maybe THAT is why I fell in love with this movie and the main characters: because smarmy and totally in love pretty much describes me.


5. FANTASTIC MR FOX - I didn't want to see this at all. The animation didn't look appealing and I'm not particularly a Wes Anderson fan. Who knew that this style of jerky stop-motion animation and Anderson's quirky filmmaking would be a perfect match I couldn't resist. And, when Mr Fox finally faces his only phobia, well...I admit I raised my fist along with them in a sincere LOL moment.


6. PRECIOUS - The only time we see our heroine Precious smile in this movie is during the dream sequences, when the only thing she can do to protect herself from feeling the hurt around her is to leave this world for the brighter one in her imagination. And when she smiles in these visions, she beams. And when Mo'Nique delivers her Oscar-worthy monologue near the film's end...wow. It makes you wonder what she was thinking when she gave us Phat Girlz.


7. SHERLOCK HOLMES - I'll be honest. I didn't really want to see this one. I had forgotten, however, it was directed by Guy Ritchie, and from the first time Holmes walks us through a fight sequence and explains what will happen to his opponent's body before the first blow is thrown...I was hooked. CSI meets Arthur Conan Doyle.


8. UP IN THE AIR - My wife accuses me of having a man-crush on George Clooney and I really have no defense. What can I say, this year he was the man. He appears in 2 films in my top 10 list. Anyone else in the role he played in this film may not have been able to make him so likable. Anyone who plays someone whose job it is to fire people (especially with the economy what it is these days) and make him someone you'd wanna hang out with is doing something right.
   


9. THE PROPOSAL - I like Sandra Bullock. I like Ryan Reynolds. I did not, however, expect to like this movie as much as I did. This is how to do a romantic comedy (Sorry Hugh & Sarah Jessica).


10. PARANORMAL ACTIVITY - It wasn't until the next day when it really hit me how good this movie is. The filmmakers created very tangible suspense throughout the whole film and they did it without ever showing you anything. A shadow here. A door closing there. And still they managed to freak me out. Kinda makes you wish the guys from Saw would put down their buckets of blood and re-think a thing or two.

So there they are. Whaddya think? Am I close? What did you like? Comment and discuss.

Kenny Chesney in 3D

Apparently we've reached the end of finding a good use of 3D technology. After a year of dazzling images in top-of-the-line digital projection in such films as Avatar and Up, in the summer of 2010 Sony Pictures is bringing us a film of a Kenny Chesney concert IN 3D.

I'm too angry/perplexed/disappointed/befuddled to think of anything funny to say.

Top 10 Movies of 2009 (John Allen Edition)

(Ed's Note: It's time once again for my esteemed panel of friends to give you their favorite movies of 2009. Because we aren't Hollywood bigwigs with copies of the movies sent to us on DVD like we're Academy voters or movie reviewers, it's harder for us to catch everything that comes down the pike. But we sure try.  We'll start off this year with my buddy John Allen and his Top 10 movies of '09. The rest of ours will be coming soon. Stop by often and see which of my Pop Culture-starved friends you're most similar to when it comes to taste in film. Feel free to comment!)

JOHN ALLEN'S TOP 10 MOVIES OF 2009

1. It Might Get Loud


2. District 9


3. Sherlock Holmes


4. Law Abiding Citizen (still good even if Foxx does a Denzel impersonation for the whole movie)


5. Inglourious Basterds


6. State of Play


7. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (Steve!)


8. The Men Who Stare at Goats


9. Star Trek (and I'm not even a trekker, trekkie, whatever the heck it is)


10. Harry Potter (yeah, so what?)

A Mom Bomb

One thing I love even more than websites telling me what to wear to church are websites that are trying so hard to be hip and cool that they base their entire line of clothing on a cool catchphrase ("That's the bomb!") that was actually never cool. Christians love clutching onto a phrase ten years too late and claiming it as their own (please accept as Exhibit A the countless number of youth groups with "Xtreme" in their name).

Carrying on that tradition, we now have a website for moms who are trying to look cool and embarrass their kids at the same time. That's right, you too can be a mom who's the bomb! Ladies and gentleman I present to you THE BOMB MOM.

THE BOMB MOM. Perfect for white suburban moms everywhere who want to let a shirt proclaim their coolness without having to go to the trouble of actually being cool.

The website's tagline is "For moms that got it goin' on."

I'm not sure if these people are aware that the only people who actually use the phrase "got it goin' on" are the women sitting in Oprah's studio audience. Not necessarily a demographic I would describe as "the bomb" but whatever. To be honest, I don't really describe anything as "the bomb," mostly because I get embarrassed when people roll their eyes at me.

All this site is missing is a "You go girl!" banner stretched across the bottom. Everything else is there, including this sentence lifted verbatim from the site:

Take a look around and shop to your hearts content. We have shirts for the bomb mommies out there in WOMENS, and shirts for the bomb mommies' littles ones too in TODDLER and BABY.

That's right, kids. How many grammatical and spelling mistakes can YOU find?

The Bomb Mom. Wear one of our shirts and you'll almost forget how much you love being pregnant!

Being a bomb mom is fun! Obviously.

Are you an anorexic mom? We've got one for you.



Are you a girl uncomfortable and a little embarrassed modeling a shirt in public that's kinda dorkish and you would never wear in real life? Then we have one for you, too.

Don't worry, ladies, if you can't decide which one to buy, THE BOMB MOM has conveniently given you a wide assortment of basically-identical shirts to choose from.

According to the website, the shirts were made in places like Peru and Thailand. (Insert your own sweatshop joke here.)

THE BOMB MOM. Clumsily raising the self-esteem of white soccer moms everywhere.

Coming soon: Dizzle Daddy jeans!*

*And other "cool" ideas thought up by a Youth Pastor with a goatee and frosted tips.

Adversity

What do you do when you come face to face with adversity (or what you may perceive to be adversity)? I'm blessed to be married to someone whose first instinct is not to get angered or stressed or worried. Sarah's knee-gut reaction is to hug, laugh at it, put her trust in God, and then make us the best turkey sandwiches you've ever tasted.

Adversity? I don't think so. Not with Sarah around.

Year in Review (2009)

2009 - YEAR IN REVIEW

It’s time again for my look back at the goings-on of the past year. Feel free to read, skim for your name, or just find the bold links and click on them in the hopes you’ll find a video featuring  a midget dressed up as Michael Jackson and dancing in the NYC subway system…you might just find what you’re looking for.

JANUARY

• January 4 - I auditioned for The Foreigner at the Fulton Opera House. I didn't get it or anything, but call me weird, I like auditioning. It's just another excuse for me to get strangers to laugh. On purpose.


• January 11 - My pal John Allen was in town for a conference. I know John from my days working at Gotee Records in Nashville when I was in the Radio Promotions department and he was in Sales. Sarah and I met up with John in Hershey, PA. It was really nice to re-connect and introduce him to my better/crazier half.


• January 17 - I went hiking with my friend John Blowers in the Pennsylvania mountains. Somewhere. I actually don't have any idea where we were, only about a half hour or so from Lancaster, so if he wanted to kill me and hide my body he very well could have. But he didn't. I guess that means John's my friend. :)

FEBRUARY

• February 3 - Sarah and I watched the touring production of Avenue Q at the Hershey Theater. There's nothing quite as fun as introducing your wife to the world of foul-mouthed puppets. And Gary Coleman.


• February 22


• February 27

MARCH

• March 17-24

APRIL

• April 19 - My pal Mitch McVicker came to town and performed a concert at our church. Even better than watching him perform again was getting to catch up with a good friend.


• April 24 - Sarah and I went to a Capital Lights concert with our travel buddies Alyssa and Ashlea. Weeks later, the band announced they are breaking up. Coincidence?

MAY

• May 15 - Sarah and I traveled to New York City for the weekend. I rejoined my friends at the National Comedy Theater and jumped in the Friday night shows for a great night of improv. I am happy to report that JT, Chris, Paul, Dan, Cohen, Kevin, and Jason have not lost the funny.


• May 16 - Sarah and I hit some NYC tourist spots and that night we were in the live studio audience for the season finale of Saturday Night Live. It was everything we dreamed and more.

JUNE

• June 23 - I broke a molar eating an ice cream sandwich.

JULY

• July 8 - After two weeks of temporary crowns, my molar was finally completely repaired.


• July 17 - Sarah and I attended a barbecue at Dustin and Janelle's house. It was a great evening of friends and hangin' out, capped off by an amazing Roman candle fight between Jeremy and Dustin.


• July 24-26 - Sarah and I returned to New York City and this time we brought our friends Ryan, Alyssa, and Ashlea with us. I performed at the National Comedy Theatre Friday and Saturday night and the rest of the time was spent giving them a whirlwind tour of the city.

AUGUST

• August 8 - Sarah and I went to Nissley Vineyard (the place I proposed to her two years earlier) with friends to enjoy a nice evening in the countryside.


• August 28 - Posted my 200th doodle.

SEPTEMBER

• September 12 - Sarah and I saw Bill Cosby perform live at the American Music Theatre. Despite the fact that he looks older, he's still the same old Cos.


• September 18 - I had a voiceover audition at Max Films. Nothing has come of it (at least not yet) but again, it was something fun to do on a weekday afternoon.

OCTOBER

• October 1 - I hung my doodles at a local coffee shop, Square One, as part of their monthly rotation of local artists. The theme for the month was Halloween, so I displayed my collection of doodles of movie villains


• October 3 - Sarah and I went to the New Holland Fair and were shocked to find they imported everyone who attends the county fair back home in Indiana to attend this one, too. Either that, or everyone who goes to fairs looks the same.


• October 7 - After months of hunting, Sarah and I picked up our new car, a Ford Focus from Keller Brothers. If you're in the area, we highly recommend them!


• October 26 - Married to Sarah for two years and she's still my bestest friend.


• October 31 - At our Murder Mystery Party, everyone got dressed up in fancy clothes and we pretended we're a lot more civilized than we actually are.

DECEMBER

• December 4 - We attended a surprise birthday party for our friend Alyssa. It was a successful covert surprise operation.


• December 5 - My dear friend Nik (another Gotee Records survivor) is in town and Sarah and I get together with her for coffee. I probably sound like a broken record, but it's so nice to re-unite with old friends and catch up!


• December 12 - My pal John had a poker night (guys' night out). We tried to keep it as manly as possible, considering the snacks consisted of deli meats, apple cider, and hummus.


• December 24


• December 26 - For the second year in a row, Sarah's sister and her family (The Tatmans) visited us for a week . We played games, watched movies, and hung around the house. Basically everything you WISH you did on vacation.

There's one highlight I didn't post because it happens every week: Sarah and I have some good friends over on Tuesday nights to watch Lost. Our usual gang of misfits includes some of our closest friends in Pennsylvania (Alyssa, Ashlea, Dustin, Janelle, Monica, Tammy, and Tyler). Sure, we're all fans of the show and enjoy the twists and turns, but most of all we love having an excuse to get together with good friends. In a time of virtual social networking, nothing compares with actually hanging out with others.

Thanks, everyone, for a great 2009. Preparing to enter 2010 is weird. 2010. It looks really super futuristic. If I don't have a flying car by 2015, I'm going to be mad.

Ed on iTunes

So, the post I wrote a little bit ago about being on the new album by children's artist Phredd...the one where I have a couple of songs on the project? Well, Phreddtastic is now available on iTunes and you can download us and put us in your iPod and listen on repeat for days on end.

Ya weirdo.

Merry Christmas from Us

Merry Christmas to you from us...and our upstairs neighbor.

Crafts by Old People

What Happened to Aaron's Paperjack?

A few years ago a dear friend of mine named Aaron Marrs passed away. He was working on a crab-fishing boat in the Alaskan waters when their boat was lost at sea. Aaron was working to save money to finish a documentary he and the rest of the crew of Paperjack Films were trying to finish (Aaron was the only one from Paperjack Films on the boat that went down).

After Aaron passed away, a benefit concert was held in Nashville featuring artists like Bleach and Relient K. The money raised was given to Paperjack Films so they could afford to finish the film. Does anyone out there know whatever happened to the film and this company? The Paperjack Films website disappeared a couple of years ago with no sign of the finished film and no word on where they were in the process. Their last update to the site was when they asked people to come to the benefit concert and, after that...nada.

I'm not trying to ruffle any feathers, but would really like to rest easy knowing all of the money raised by this benefit concert was actually used for what it was advertised it would be used for. Obviously I don't know the details, but to someone on this side of things, it looks like they took the money and ran. I just want to know that isn't the case.

If anyone has any info that would shed any light, please comment.

Thanks!

The Top 10 Comedy Albums of 2009

(*You can find my Comedy Reviews blog here.)


Top 10 Album lists are pretty popular but I'll be honest: I didn't listen to enough full albums this year to feel like I really knew what I was talking about. Being a radio guy, I guess I mostly listen to singles. If you want someone who is a real music head, then check out Brad's year-end best-of list. On the other hand, I did listen to my fair share of comedy albums. I didn't listen to everything that came out (as of this writing I still haven't heard the new George Lopez album and I avoid any CD by a member of the Blue Comedy Collar Tour like a Blue Collar Comedy Tour audience member avoids evolution) but I think I caught most everything else that came by. I'll include clips from the album when I can find them, so just in case you have kids...or office mates...nearby, you may wanna keep an eye on the volume. Most of them contain words that will get your mouth washed out with soap.

10. Stephen Lynch, 3 Balloons
Not my favorite Lynch album, but still worth a mention. I especially enjoyed "Fishin Hole" (Where everyone is a butthole) and "Dear Diary," a collection of "he didn't just say that, did he?" tributes to dead celebrities.

9. Greg Giraldo, Midlife Vices
Like most people, I became acquainted with Giraldo through his work on Comedy Central's Roasts. He's always teased as "the comic no one has heard of." Although this is funny because it's true, it shouldn't be the case.

8. Jon Lajoie, You Want Some of This
One of four comedians on this list that are comedic songwriters. I used to abhor musical comedians (besides Weird Al) but when they're funny, they're funny. LaJoie's CD not only celebrates the joy of just being a regular guy, but does it to a beat that would get spins on any Top 40 station.

7. Nick Swardson, Seriously, Who Farted?
Swardson, the guy who appears in every Comedy Central show ever, returns to what (I think) he does best. Goofy voices and uncomfortable situations.

6. Christopher Titus, Love is Evol
Released three days after Valentine's Day, the album is one long rant about someone facing the D-Word: Divorce. As someone who's been in each phase of this journey, it's as if someone took everything I didn't know how to say and said it better. And funnier. I don't know. Maybe I can just relate because I too once spent some time splitting up with a psycho.


5. Dane Cook, Isolated Incident
Dane Cook got so big so fast, it wasn't long before the backlash set in. At first he was the cool underground sensation and suddenly he became cool to hate. I don't get it. If someone's good, then they're good. I mean come on, how does he keep coming up with great material...and so much of it! Another double disc. This new collection shows he isn't just a jokey jokester, but he's an amazing storyteller.

4. "Weird Al" Yankovic, Internet Leaks
Someone who's been doing this as long as Al has shouldn't be on this list. Compared to everyone else on the list, Al's an old-timer. But his song "CNR" done in the style of the White Stripes and heralding the most surprising of heroes shows he's still got it.

3. The Lonely Island, Incredibad
My favorite songs on this CD are the ones I hadn't already seen on SNL. And this CD boasts the best line-up of guest vocalists on any album this year: T-Pain, Jack Black, Norah Jones, Justin Timberlake, Natalie Portman, and Julian Casablancas.

2. Patton Oswalt, My Weakness is Strong
There are some people that are just funny when they're angry, and Oswalt is one of them. His album starts off with this "I Hate" bit and only gets better.

1. Jim Gaffigan, King Baby
Just when you thought he'd never be able to top his own catch phrase ("Hot Pocket!") he does it with just one word: bacon.

Nope. I'm Not Hanging THAT In My House

There's not really a polite way to say this, so I'll just say it. If your Christmas card features photos of your children on the front, I'm just gonna throw it away.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for family photos and I don't mind a Christmas greeting with a shot of the whole gang. I will gladly hang that along with the other Christmas cards we've received. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the Christmas cards that only have kids on the front; two scamps in sweaters in front of yet another fireplace and I have no idea who they are.

Those are the cards I'm talking about. I won't hang them up for the same reason I don't cut out pictures of kids from magazines and hang them up in my house. I don't know those kids.

Last year we received like 10 cards that were basically photos of kids and every time we were asked, "Oh, who's that?" Sarah and I would just kinda look at each other and shrug our shoulders. We don't know these kids.

And this year, they're not taking up our wall space.

I'm not mad, I'm just saying.

Those Evil, Evil Christmas Carols

Yesterday an angry lady called the station with a complaint Or, in her words, her "annual complaint". Which means she complains about this annually. It seems we played "Walking in a Winter Wonderland," a song that clearly is not about Jesus.

Jesus chose to hang out with hookers and thieves instead of those who considered themselves "holy" and now I'm starting to see why. "Holy" people are a downer.

Are we as Christians no longer allowed to enjoy winter, snow, or songs about winter and snow because they don't have the word "Jesus" in them? Yikes. Forgive me for enjoying, you know, what God created (in this case, a winter wonderland).

Maybe it's just me, but it seems there are issues in the world that need our attention a lot more urgently than the fact that a Christian radio station played "Winter Wonderland" a few weeks before Christmas. You should definitely reconsider how you're expending your energy. In fact, I would hope to think that if you're going to accept the role as Super Christian and change the world and make it a better place, Christmas Carols would be at the bottom of your list. Or at least beneath things like starving children, struggling single parents, or disabled Vets who need a hand.

Or maybe I have it wrong. Maybe you've already single-handedly managed to solve all of those troubles that society faces and you have reached the bottom of your list and it's time to give the radio station what-for.

Oh, and did I mention the fact that when this Grinch (forgive my non-Biblical Christmas reference) called with her complaint, she started off the call by saying she doesn't celebrate Christmas? So we're horrible people for spreading Christmas cheer and in the meantime she's sitting pretty because she refuses to celebrate the birth of her Savior.

That makes sense.

I don't know. Am I off on this one? I just can't fathom a mindset where this [a Christmas carol] is an actual issue that needs so desperately to be addressed. I don't know who that lady is or if she'll ever read this but on the off-chance she does, I have a message for her:

I don't want to say it's people like you who give Christians a bad name, but it's people like you who give Christians a bad name.  It's time to unclench.

Say "Cheese!"

The gang at WJTL recently posed for our annual Christmas postcard. The pictures were taken by Brooke Courtney, a really talented photographer here in PA. Here are four of Brooke's favorite shots from the day.

25 Years in 2-1/2 Minutes

Congratulations WJTL on 25 years! Here's a little video I put together encapsulating just a fraction of what's been going down.

The "How to Write A Hit Song" Jingo Jango

As I mentioned in a post last week, tomorrow is the release day of the new Phredd album, Phreddtastic. To help celebrate that fact, I thought I'd offer up a little insight as to how one of the songs, "Jingo Jango" came about. Instead of telling you how Phredd and I wrote the lyrics, I thought I'd show you by copying the emails we sent back and forth that birthed the song. And yes kids, this is how ALL professional songwriters write their songs.

EDDIE to FRED:

Fred,
Are you up for writing a jingle for WJTL's listen live feature, a la those annoying freecreditreport.com commercials? Kinda like the poor sap lost his radio or something and didn't have a way to listen but now he does. I am actually going to lip synch the song since, just like in the commercials, the guy "singing" the songs isn't the actual singer. Did you know that? He's a French actor. True story, dude.
No rush on this at all. At all.
Eddie

FRED to EDDIE:

I love it.  Let's do this...
Come up with a title and then let's write (email) lines back and forth to write the song.
So you send me the title, and then...
Let the fun begin.
Fred

EDDIE to FRED:

"The No-Radio-Needed Jingo Jango"

FRED to EDDIE:

Jingo Jango Who need 'da radio?

EDDIE to FRED:

I thought I did til my boombox broke

FRED to EDDIE:

Cruel old joke, when my boombox broke

EDDIE to FRED:

(Now) My boombox won't tune in any mo'

FRED to EDDIE:

OK, I went a little crazy.  Start the second verse. :>)

Hey Radio Man now there's a void

Yeah you succeeded

My life's destroyed

No Radio Needed

Chorus

No Radio Needed (Jingo Jango)

Yeah, you succedded (Jingo Jango)

Casey Kasem pleaded

Rick Dees conceded

All your fears are now exceeded

Jingo Jango No Radio Needed

EDDIE to FRED:

Dude you are SOO much better at this, lol. I'm still trying to get my last contribution to fit in the structure...
Jingo jango, don' need da radio

FRED to EDDIE:

Now I don't have a life soundtrack

EDDIE to FRED:

I need music back, no tunes is pretty wack

FRED to EDDIE:

Wackitta wacka whacky no sound

EDDIE to FRED:

But Internet Man do what you can
Your technology
Can musically span
This dilemma probably

FRED to EDDIE:

Bridge/Middle eight

So I'm singing Papa papa papa papa

momma momma momma momma

Papa papa papa papa

Hm, Daddy Momma turn the radio on!

(OK Eddie - Big 3rd verse.  this is where we hit the point of the song.  The big finish so to speak.  You start)

EDDIE to FRED:

Jingo Jango what's dis by da radio?

FRED to EDDIE:

Why, its my portal to the internets

EDDIE to FRED:

Now I gets no worries or frets

FRED to EDDIE:

Cause I can tune in 24/7  (or - Cause I can tune in all the time)  if you like that better

EDDIE to FRED:

Listen online man if you're out of range

FRED to EDDIE:

Hey, we be streamin'

EDDIE to FRED:

You ain't dreamin'

FRED to EDDIE:

Hey, You ain't dreamin'

We be streamin'

NO RADIO NEEDED

Eddie, I think its done. The only other addition might be to talk over the ending, like listen online at wjtl.com or "get better speakers" or "nice profile pic dude."

EDDIE to FRED:

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha sweet!! You are sooo much better at this than me. I gladly stand in your shadow!

FRED to EDDIE:

already got the tune in my head

A few days later, Fred sent me an actual song based on what we'd written. As someone with no songwriting talent, I was crazy impressed that Fred was able to take our random lines and work them into a musical structure. He tweaked some words here and there, cut and moved and re-worded and the rest...well, I'll say it. The rest is musical history.

Here's the music video, set to Fred's original rough mix:

Phreddtastic is available online at the WJTL music store and will also be available on iTunes in the near future. A free download of the first single, "Text the Cell" will be available online at the WJTL website from Tuesday Dec 8-Monday Dec 15.

Humor Makes Charity Way More Appealing

Sure, you can be a singer/songwriter and whine and moan about saving dogs from the dog pound and the SPCA  and make everyone sick of what used to be a kinda cool song (the truth hurts, Maclachlan)...or you can find a cause you believe in and make people actually want to hear more by being clever about it.

I salute you, Ben Stiller, on a job well done. After you've watched the videos, check out the site.

Play It Again, Sam

I wrote a blog back in September about a fan letter I wrote to Sam Viviano. You're gonna wanna read that one before jumping into this one in order to grasp the awesomeness of this blog. It's right here. Don't worry, I'll wait.

OK...so here we go...

A couple weeks ago I got an email from WordPress letting me know I had a comment on that blog that needed approval. Of all the people who might comment on a blog about a fan letter I wrote to my favorite artist (and his reply back to me), I did not expect the comment to be from Sam Viviano himself. For real. The comment is there. Check it out. Not only did he stumble across my blog (I still wonder how he found it), but he also offered to replace the drawing he sent to me years ago that I eventually lost.

I emailed him back, thanking him for his comment and again thanking him for personally responding to his fan mail, unlike that robot Ricky Schroeder. (Yes, I also sent a fan letter to Ricky Schroeder, the then-star of NBC's Silver Spoons, back in the 80s. When I get an automated response in return and a black-and-white 5x7 picture with his autograph obviously stamped "Love, Ricky" I was a little less than enthused. And confused. I hadn't asked for a photo, much less one signed "Love.")

About a week after responding to Sam's blog comment, I received a manila envelope in the mail with a MAD Magazine address label on the front. It was two days before my birthday and a great way to kick off the weekend. Not only had Sam responded with yet another full-page handwritten letter but he also included another print of the very drawing he had sent to me nearly 20 years ago.

But wait, there's more! He also included two recent issues of MAD Magazine!

I mean seriously, how cool is this guy? He's someone with a lot more on his plate than me and still he goes out of his way to go above and beyond the call of duty for a complete stranger. I could learn something from this guy.

But first, I'm going to take a picture of myself with all the cool stuff he sent me. Pictures first, life lessons later.

I Can't Laugh At This Guy

I've been in this situation many times myself.

Grammy Nominated TO THE GROUND

So the nominations for the Grammy Awards have been announced. I don't usually follow the rap category too closely but this year, one of them really sticks out. Guess who I'm rooting for?

Best Rap/Sung Collaboration
(For a Rap/Sung collaborative performance by artists who do not normally perform together. Singles or Tracks only.)

• Ego| Beyoncé & Kanye West


• Knock You Down|Keri Hilson, Kanye West & Ne-Yo


• Run This Town|Jay-Z, Rihanna & Kanye West


• I'm On A Boat|The Lonely Island & T-Pain


• Dead And Gone|T.I. & Justin Timberlake

Something New for the Resume

Tuesday Dec 8 2009 marks the day I will officially get to add a new section to my resume. That's right, suckas, I'm almost an actual singer/songwriter/recording artist. Almost.

Perhaps you've heard of Phredd, the crazy guy who writes goofy songs for kids like Awooga, Baby Bottle Boomerang,  If Coffee Smells So Good Why Does It Taste So Bad, and My Mom is a Pirate. Well, not only is Phredd the mind behind those catchy tunes, but he also happens to be my boss. And I'll be honest: My boss is way cooler than your boss. Not only does he let me make crazy videos for work like this one

and this one,

but he also lets me appear on his forthcoming album, Phreddtastic.

That's right. Phreddtastic drops next week and I've got two songs on there and a co-writing credit on a third! I know, I know. That's just messed up. I'll explain:

Almost a year ago, I wanted to make a video for the station promoting the fact that you can listen online. I asked Fred if he would write a song, something light and catchy, in the same vein as those Free Credit Report ads. But of course, just like in the TV ads, the song would be lip-synched by a guy who didn't actually sing the song (in this case, me).

Fred came back to me with the idea that we co-write the song via email. I gave him the name of the song and he emailed back with the first line. And then I added the second line. And so on and so on. After we were finished, Fred tweaked it to make it fit the musical phrasing and then wrote the tune and melody. And then when Fred started working on his new album he decided to re-record the tune, Jingo Jango.

To tell you the truth, giving me a co-writing credit is really generous seeing how all I did was make up sentences that sort of rhymed with what Fred wrote. But it's a co-writing credit nonetheless and I'll take it. (By the way, you can see the original version of the song in the finished video here. I even let Fred appear as the guy singing backup vocals despite the fact he's actually singing everything and I appear nowhere in the audio track. Wasn't that nice of me?)

And then there're my other two songs on Phredd's new album. The first one actually shouldn't count. It's like 10 seconds long. I was working on a radio ad in Garage Band and heard a ukulele riff and of course, thought of Fred. So I started humming along and 30 seconds later Another Fred Song was born. I realize I'm not a singer, though, so instead of singing I just kind of talk to the rhythm in a sing-songy way like I'm Colin Mochrie in the hoedown game.

The other song I did...well...I'm gonna play that one down, too, because I didn't actually write the song. Fred did. I just Weird Al'd it. Fred had a song out a few years ago called Floating Zoo, where he went through the alphabet and named animals that were on Noah's Ark (armadillo, baboon, cougar, dingo, etc.).

Back in the year 2000, I was working on the air at the station and played Floating Zoo and I started singing "Scooby Doo" instead of the title phrase. What can I say? I've been listening to Weird Al since I was in Junior High School, 20 years of listening to parodies will have an effect on you. I started trying to come up with a word for each letter of the alphabet that correlated to the classic cartoon and after my shift I went into the production studio and recorded a really rough version of the song. Fast-forward nine years later to Fred asking me if I'd record an updated version for Phreddtastic.

I mean come on, if that's not flattering, then I don't know what is. You parody the guy's song and he turns around and asks you to record the parody for his album? That was cool.

Realizing I still can't sing, I decided to morph the song from a fun ukulele ditty to a mash-up of styles over which I do this weird pseudo-rap. It's hard to explain. You'll just have to hear it.

But don't pick up the album because of my little contribution. Pick it up because it's a fun listen and Phredd once again brings the fun for the whole family with a batch of tunes you'll be humming for hours. In a good way. I just wish you could hear the whole thing. And, whaddya know, starting Dec 8, 2009, you can. :)