Yesterday morning I did my daily ritual of looking out the window to see what the weather looks like [I've learned to put very little faith in the weather man]. Parked in front of my apartment was a shiny silver BMW. It looked like someone was sitting in front of it staring up at me but because of the reflection of the trees on the windshield, I couldn't be sure. I looked for a bit longer and finally decided there wasn't a guy sitting in the front seat with a white shirt on but it was just a white towel draped over the seat. I continued about my daily routine and when I went outside to get in the car I saw the Beamer was still there.
And I was wrong.
It was a guy in a white button-up shirt just sitting there looking at me. Mind you, by this time he'd been there for about 45 minutes. I drove away and thought about circling the block so I could get behind him and take note of his license plate number.
But then I remembered I wasn't in an episode of 24 and went on to work.
Today I was in Garrett painting the front door trim of a house. I was painting, painting, painting away. I happened to turn around and there in the street parked in front of the house was a shiny silver Corvette. The driver was sitting there just staring at me. I looked at the guy and tried to figure out if maybe I knew him but he started up the sports car and zoomed away.
What the freak is going on?
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
Coffee: Ahhhhhhhh
A few days ago I posted a blog about an annoying experience I had at a coffee shop. Tonight I am happy to report that thankfully there are two coffee shops here in Auburn and I gave the other place a shot tonight.
I originally intended to do some writing while I was there, but by the time I got there it was only going to be open for another half hour so I didn't bring my notebooks in with me. When I got in and went to the front counter, I heard someone softly say, "Eddie." After my last coffee shop experience where my presence was announced at the top of one's lungs, this was a welcome change.
Inside were three girls from the youth group my cousins Jordan and Logan go to, so it was nice to see some friendly faces and say hello. And, I have to confess, the coffee at this place was much better than the other place. I'm not just saying that because I had a bad experience at the other shop. Ask my brother Ray. I had mentioned to him that the coffee at the other location wasn't as good even before The Incident.
BrewDaily's Cafe, where I went tonight, also has a much nicer vibe to it. I can definitely get some writing done there and I am looking forward to seeing what gets cranked out. Most people have coffee to wake them up but it has the opposite effect on me. My white mocha I had tonight was the very definition of relaxing.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I originally intended to do some writing while I was there, but by the time I got there it was only going to be open for another half hour so I didn't bring my notebooks in with me. When I got in and went to the front counter, I heard someone softly say, "Eddie." After my last coffee shop experience where my presence was announced at the top of one's lungs, this was a welcome change.
Inside were three girls from the youth group my cousins Jordan and Logan go to, so it was nice to see some friendly faces and say hello. And, I have to confess, the coffee at this place was much better than the other place. I'm not just saying that because I had a bad experience at the other shop. Ask my brother Ray. I had mentioned to him that the coffee at the other location wasn't as good even before The Incident.
BrewDaily's Cafe, where I went tonight, also has a much nicer vibe to it. I can definitely get some writing done there and I am looking forward to seeing what gets cranked out. Most people have coffee to wake them up but it has the opposite effect on me. My white mocha I had tonight was the very definition of relaxing.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Leave Me Alone!!!!
Last night I wanted to get some writing done, but I couldn't do it here at the apartment. You'd think I'd be able to find some peace and quiet here seeing as how I live alone and the apartment downstairs is vacant but I'll be the first to admit I'm a little ADD and have the attention span of a baby giraffe. I may have every intention of doing some writing but here there's always something to distract me.
I wonder if anyone left me any comments on MySpace!
I wonder if anyone has commented on any of my YouTube videos!
I wonder who's on Comedy Central Presents right now!
I wonder if I should make a smoothie!
I wonder if I should watch a movie!
I wonder who's on IM!
You get the picture. Nothing ever gets done. So I decided to head over to a little coffee shop I stumbled upon last week. The owner knows my brother Ray and the first time I was in he could see the family resemblance and asked how I was related to him.
So I made the short drive over, my trusty little notepad tucked away in my pocket. I ordered an iced coffee and made my way to an out-of-the-way table against the wall and with my back to the door so as to keep myself distraction-free. There were about 6 or 7 kids in there having a Bible study a couple of tables away. No big deal. Although they were carrying on a discussion, they were still mindful of their surroundings and spoke in hushed tones and soon they had faded into the background atmosphere.
At the table next to me were a couple of people playing chess and it didn't take long for me to delve into my notebook and totally forget where I was. I was frantically scribbling away in my book, the words pouring out of me. I was on a roll and it felt good.
Which is probably why I didn't notice the owner had come in. Suddenly his voice broke the calm serenity of the room and I heard his voice boom out, "Hey, do you know who that is?!!!"
All that was missing was the sound effect of a needle scratching across a record. The entire room came to a standstill and everyone; me, the Bible study kids, and the chess players stopped what we were doing and stared at this guy who was pointing me out to his (I assume) wife.
"That's Ray Placencia's brother!!" He continued to bellow out and I felt the focus of the room shift from him to me.
Bear in mind, I really don't like being the center of attention. You may find that hard to believe seeing as how I've spent so much time on the stage and trying to make people laugh (both on and offstage). People are always surprised when they hear I'm a shy person. But think about when you first met me. Chances are I didn't come across as "the funny guy." Maybe "the nice guy." But it usually takes me a while to warm up to people when I first meet them.
In the meantime, please don't shine the spotlight on me.
Especially when you're in a place that is relatively quiet and people are trying to hold a Bible study. Or play a game of chess. Or write.
I smiled at the guy's wife and sheepishly said, "Hello." And the room continued to stare at me. I don't know what she - or everyone else - expected me to do. Was I supposed to hop behind the piano and play a song or grab my foot and stretch it behind my head? This guy's wife was still staring at me and I just smiled and nodded. "How are you?" was all I managed to get out.
She smiled and then they walked away. And for those of you keeping score at home, everyone else was still looking at me. I focused my attention on my book and my writing - or at least pretended to - until everyone else went back to what they were doing before they were so rudely interrupted.
I gathered my papers, put them back in my book, slipped it into my back pocket, dropped my cup in the proper waste receptacle, left the building, and swore never to return.
I wonder if anyone left me any comments on MySpace!
I wonder if anyone has commented on any of my YouTube videos!
I wonder who's on Comedy Central Presents right now!
I wonder if I should make a smoothie!
I wonder if I should watch a movie!
I wonder who's on IM!
You get the picture. Nothing ever gets done. So I decided to head over to a little coffee shop I stumbled upon last week. The owner knows my brother Ray and the first time I was in he could see the family resemblance and asked how I was related to him.
So I made the short drive over, my trusty little notepad tucked away in my pocket. I ordered an iced coffee and made my way to an out-of-the-way table against the wall and with my back to the door so as to keep myself distraction-free. There were about 6 or 7 kids in there having a Bible study a couple of tables away. No big deal. Although they were carrying on a discussion, they were still mindful of their surroundings and spoke in hushed tones and soon they had faded into the background atmosphere.
At the table next to me were a couple of people playing chess and it didn't take long for me to delve into my notebook and totally forget where I was. I was frantically scribbling away in my book, the words pouring out of me. I was on a roll and it felt good.
Which is probably why I didn't notice the owner had come in. Suddenly his voice broke the calm serenity of the room and I heard his voice boom out, "Hey, do you know who that is?!!!"
All that was missing was the sound effect of a needle scratching across a record. The entire room came to a standstill and everyone; me, the Bible study kids, and the chess players stopped what we were doing and stared at this guy who was pointing me out to his (I assume) wife.
"That's Ray Placencia's brother!!" He continued to bellow out and I felt the focus of the room shift from him to me.
Bear in mind, I really don't like being the center of attention. You may find that hard to believe seeing as how I've spent so much time on the stage and trying to make people laugh (both on and offstage). People are always surprised when they hear I'm a shy person. But think about when you first met me. Chances are I didn't come across as "the funny guy." Maybe "the nice guy." But it usually takes me a while to warm up to people when I first meet them.
In the meantime, please don't shine the spotlight on me.
Especially when you're in a place that is relatively quiet and people are trying to hold a Bible study. Or play a game of chess. Or write.
I smiled at the guy's wife and sheepishly said, "Hello." And the room continued to stare at me. I don't know what she - or everyone else - expected me to do. Was I supposed to hop behind the piano and play a song or grab my foot and stretch it behind my head? This guy's wife was still staring at me and I just smiled and nodded. "How are you?" was all I managed to get out.
She smiled and then they walked away. And for those of you keeping score at home, everyone else was still looking at me. I focused my attention on my book and my writing - or at least pretended to - until everyone else went back to what they were doing before they were so rudely interrupted.
I gathered my papers, put them back in my book, slipped it into my back pocket, dropped my cup in the proper waste receptacle, left the building, and swore never to return.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
WOW, Do I Rock
Tonight I cooked some catfish and holy schmergoley, I freakin' rocked the house. Blackened catfish with a topping made of mango, onion, avocado, lime juice and cilantro and complimented with a glass of white wine.
Zoinks, it was good. I'm not too humble to admit it.
Whew.
Zoinks, it was good. I'm not too humble to admit it.
Whew.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Looking For Home
Today after work all I wanted to do was go home.
But I don't know where that is.
I have a small apartment here in Auburn where I have my computer and a few random essentials. But when I think of the concept of home, I don't think of these bare white walls and matching Venetian blinds.
When I think of home I guess my first instinct is to think of Garrett, the city I grew up in and where the majority of my family is. But I don't know. Garrett doesn't feel like home, either. Kind of like an old pair of shoes that you loved, but are now a half-size too small. You want to wear them, you want to feel that comfortableness...but after some time, you're going to have to face the fact they just don't fit.
Other geographical places I think of when I think of home are California and New York. But I wonder if I only think of California so fondly because it's the first place I lived when I left home and did a lot of growing up and experiencing life there. I have some great, great memories there. The big city. A million opportunities. Meeting a great friend. Just having a great time.
But do memories alone make a home?
As much as I love New York, the main reason I think of it as home is because of the friends I have there from the National Comedy Theatre. I've never had such a huge circle of friends that consisted of so many genuinely wonderful people chasing the exact same dream as me (or something very close to it). The city has a lot to offer, but if my buddies all moved away, I know I probably wouldn't think of it as home. I don't think of New York as home. I think of the people there.
So perhaps home isn't a physical place but a state of mind. If that's the case, then Lancaster PA and Atlanta GA are homes. As a cities and places, I wasn't their biggest fan. But the people I met in those places are lifelong friends whom I adore and they made it into something like a home.
I'd like to be home. I want to be home. I just don't know how to get there or even where it is, for that matter. I've had this intense longing for a home for the past week or so and it's been a heavy load.
I remember reading interviews about the late singer Rich Mullins. A lot of his close friends said that just before he died in a tragic car accident, he was very restless, looking for a home...basically in a similar place I am right now.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I think my time is almost up. I'm just saying someone else was seeking the same think I am seeking now, and I think he found it. The question of the hour is:
Will I?
But I don't know where that is.
I have a small apartment here in Auburn where I have my computer and a few random essentials. But when I think of the concept of home, I don't think of these bare white walls and matching Venetian blinds.
When I think of home I guess my first instinct is to think of Garrett, the city I grew up in and where the majority of my family is. But I don't know. Garrett doesn't feel like home, either. Kind of like an old pair of shoes that you loved, but are now a half-size too small. You want to wear them, you want to feel that comfortableness...but after some time, you're going to have to face the fact they just don't fit.
Other geographical places I think of when I think of home are California and New York. But I wonder if I only think of California so fondly because it's the first place I lived when I left home and did a lot of growing up and experiencing life there. I have some great, great memories there. The big city. A million opportunities. Meeting a great friend. Just having a great time.
But do memories alone make a home?
As much as I love New York, the main reason I think of it as home is because of the friends I have there from the National Comedy Theatre. I've never had such a huge circle of friends that consisted of so many genuinely wonderful people chasing the exact same dream as me (or something very close to it). The city has a lot to offer, but if my buddies all moved away, I know I probably wouldn't think of it as home. I don't think of New York as home. I think of the people there.
So perhaps home isn't a physical place but a state of mind. If that's the case, then Lancaster PA and Atlanta GA are homes. As a cities and places, I wasn't their biggest fan. But the people I met in those places are lifelong friends whom I adore and they made it into something like a home.
I'd like to be home. I want to be home. I just don't know how to get there or even where it is, for that matter. I've had this intense longing for a home for the past week or so and it's been a heavy load.
I remember reading interviews about the late singer Rich Mullins. A lot of his close friends said that just before he died in a tragic car accident, he was very restless, looking for a home...basically in a similar place I am right now.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I think my time is almost up. I'm just saying someone else was seeking the same think I am seeking now, and I think he found it. The question of the hour is:
Will I?
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Gonna Fly Now
One of the things I was looking forward to when I moved back to Indiana was going down to the boxing club. Dad's been a boxing coach for as long as I can remember and was a boxer for quite a few years before that.
Last night after work I went with Dad down to the boxing club to work out. I don't even remember the last time I trained with Dad [I must have been around 16 or 17] and I was excited to return. I'm still sore, and I love it.
The workout killed me and I reveled in every last minute of it. The training agenda hasn't changed a bit since the last time I was there so I was able to get right into the groove of it all. Three one-minute rounds of warm-ups, three one-minute rounds of speed heavybags, and then three rounds each of heavybag, swaybag, and speedbag.
By the end of it all I was nothing but a big sweaty mess but I didn't mind at all. I'd worked hard to get that way. I'm looking forward to going back again next Friday night. The club is officially closed for the summer, but a few guys still like to go down so Dad opens it up once a week. The actual training season will start in a few weeks and the club will be open three times a week.
Dad's a great boxing coach [that'll happen when you're as good in the ring as he was] and it was good to step back in and have him spotting me. I'm not looking for any bouts or fights, I'm just there for the workout. And it ain't too bad. If you're in the Dekalb County area, I highly recommend it. Unlike most gyms that charge an arm and a leg each month to join, the Dekalb County Boxing Club only charges five bucks a year, and Dad only charges that because that's what the boxing commission requires. Dad's never charged more than that required minimum because he wanted as many kids to be able to participate that wanted to join.
If you want me to keep you posted on when the club will officially open for the season, drop me a line. It's a heckuva workout, and you won't be sorry.
Last night after work I went with Dad down to the boxing club to work out. I don't even remember the last time I trained with Dad [I must have been around 16 or 17] and I was excited to return. I'm still sore, and I love it.
The workout killed me and I reveled in every last minute of it. The training agenda hasn't changed a bit since the last time I was there so I was able to get right into the groove of it all. Three one-minute rounds of warm-ups, three one-minute rounds of speed heavybags, and then three rounds each of heavybag, swaybag, and speedbag.
By the end of it all I was nothing but a big sweaty mess but I didn't mind at all. I'd worked hard to get that way. I'm looking forward to going back again next Friday night. The club is officially closed for the summer, but a few guys still like to go down so Dad opens it up once a week. The actual training season will start in a few weeks and the club will be open three times a week.
Dad's a great boxing coach [that'll happen when you're as good in the ring as he was] and it was good to step back in and have him spotting me. I'm not looking for any bouts or fights, I'm just there for the workout. And it ain't too bad. If you're in the Dekalb County area, I highly recommend it. Unlike most gyms that charge an arm and a leg each month to join, the Dekalb County Boxing Club only charges five bucks a year, and Dad only charges that because that's what the boxing commission requires. Dad's never charged more than that required minimum because he wanted as many kids to be able to participate that wanted to join.
If you want me to keep you posted on when the club will officially open for the season, drop me a line. It's a heckuva workout, and you won't be sorry.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Legally Hoosier
I was able to go and get my Indiana driver's license this week. Seeing as how my old Tennessee license expired in November, I guess I was due. Ha! But I was living in New York City, and you don't need a car there, so I never wanted to spend the money to renew my license for nothing (I was using my passport as my I.D.).
This week I finally had a little extra time to run by the DMV (excuse me, the BMV here in Indiana) and get legally licensed. Because I was switching my license from another state, I had to take the written test. That always makes me nervous, because I never know what they're going to ask on there. But I'll be darned if I'm actually gonna read through the driver's manual. Let's do this.
I was allowed to miss 6 questions. I wonder how close I got. One of them was:
Drivers licenses issued to people 21 years of age and younger are:
A. Considered temporary licenses
B. Means the driver must be accompanied by a driver 21 years of age or older for the first 90 days
C. Must wear seat belts at all times
D. All answers are correct
I thought this might be a trick question. Mainly because it has nothing to do with me. What does this question have to do with how well I can operate my vehicle? This isn't a test of my driving ability, it's just Indiana Motorist Trivia. There was also a question about drivers 16 years of age and again, impertinent to me. So instead of filling in a circle with my answer, I carved my name into the desk.
Another fun question was "What is the legal speed limit on a county State road?" Allow me to answer your question with a question of my own: "What in the world is a county State road?" My options were 50, 55, 60, and 65. I chose 50 because Indiana is slow.
Later on they asked what the speed limit is on a county road. I was pretty sure the answer was 50, so I changed the answer to the other question figuring they couldn't both be 50. I changed my answer to my brother's name carved into the desk.
After all was said and done, I passed and am now legally allowed to operate a large vehicle at a high rate of speed.
Or at least at 50mph.
This week I finally had a little extra time to run by the DMV (excuse me, the BMV here in Indiana) and get legally licensed. Because I was switching my license from another state, I had to take the written test. That always makes me nervous, because I never know what they're going to ask on there. But I'll be darned if I'm actually gonna read through the driver's manual. Let's do this.
I was allowed to miss 6 questions. I wonder how close I got. One of them was:
Drivers licenses issued to people 21 years of age and younger are:
A. Considered temporary licenses
B. Means the driver must be accompanied by a driver 21 years of age or older for the first 90 days
C. Must wear seat belts at all times
D. All answers are correct
I thought this might be a trick question. Mainly because it has nothing to do with me. What does this question have to do with how well I can operate my vehicle? This isn't a test of my driving ability, it's just Indiana Motorist Trivia. There was also a question about drivers 16 years of age and again, impertinent to me. So instead of filling in a circle with my answer, I carved my name into the desk.
Another fun question was "What is the legal speed limit on a county State road?" Allow me to answer your question with a question of my own: "What in the world is a county State road?" My options were 50, 55, 60, and 65. I chose 50 because Indiana is slow.
Later on they asked what the speed limit is on a county road. I was pretty sure the answer was 50, so I changed the answer to the other question figuring they couldn't both be 50. I changed my answer to my brother's name carved into the desk.
After all was said and done, I passed and am now legally allowed to operate a large vehicle at a high rate of speed.
Or at least at 50mph.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
NBC: Later Rather Than Sooner
A couple of weeks ago I think I posted something on here about my video submission for a contest NBC was having to promote the most excellent show, The Office. The top three submissions will be aired on NBC. They've released the 20 finalists at http://www.nbc.com/The_Office/contest/ and if you look closely, you'll see that I'm not among them. A few of them are actually pretty good. But only a few. I'm not saying that my submission is better than the others (I'm no sore loser) but I am saying I can't believe most of them were selected. Kind of like watching America's Funniest Home Videos. At the end of the show when they announce the 3 funniest videos, more often than not I'm left thinking Huh? But I guess that's the thing about humor. It's all objective.
My video submission is posted on YouTube and, as promised, I have made the video public so you can watch and enjoy (hopefully enjoy). The final product had to be exactly 20 seconds and you weren't allowed to use any footage from the show (even though one of the 20 finalists did. Um...that's not freakin fair). My original cut was 2 and-a-half minutes, so needless to say, I had to do some serious editing. The basic premise is some friends hanging around, quoting lines from The Office, and one guy who doesn't watch the show tries desperately to fit in.
Maybe it didn't translate in 20 seconds. Or maybe the judges forgot that Steve Carell, star of The Office, was also in The 40 Year Old Virgin. Oh well. We still had a good time. My submission can be seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kre-xh16fw Feel free to leave a comment and browse around while you're there!
My video submission is posted on YouTube and, as promised, I have made the video public so you can watch and enjoy (hopefully enjoy). The final product had to be exactly 20 seconds and you weren't allowed to use any footage from the show (even though one of the 20 finalists did. Um...that's not freakin fair). My original cut was 2 and-a-half minutes, so needless to say, I had to do some serious editing. The basic premise is some friends hanging around, quoting lines from The Office, and one guy who doesn't watch the show tries desperately to fit in.
Maybe it didn't translate in 20 seconds. Or maybe the judges forgot that Steve Carell, star of The Office, was also in The 40 Year Old Virgin. Oh well. We still had a good time. My submission can be seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kre-xh16fw Feel free to leave a comment and browse around while you're there!
Miami (Yawn) Vice
Went to see Miami Vice with Dad the other night. I never saw the show on TV so I wasn't too incredibly jazzed to see the film, but thought I'd give it a try. It's not one of those TV-into-film shows where you have to be a fan of the show to "get it." In fact, aside from the name "Sonny," as far as I could tell, it didn't have anything else in common with the show. It might as well have been called Bad Boys III (except without the humor or action or appeal). The movie is basically an hour and a half of Colin Ferrell in sex scenes (I'm not that desperate, thank you) and then 10 minutes of shooting bad guys (They don't even draw their guns until the end? Can this movie be any more boring? Don't get me wrong. I'm a fan of "talky" films as long as what they're talking about is interesting [as in Glengarry Glenn Ross]. But I was hoping for something to jump in and wake me up).
I guess I'm just not a fan of director Michael Mann. Like his movie Collateral, that had a lot of cool shots of LA at night, there are a lot of cool shots of Miami at night in Vice. But Tom Cruise with gray hair wasn't enough to save Collateral, and Colin Ferrell in bed certainly didn't save Miami Vice.
Where's Talladega Nights when you need it?
I guess I'm just not a fan of director Michael Mann. Like his movie Collateral, that had a lot of cool shots of LA at night, there are a lot of cool shots of Miami at night in Vice. But Tom Cruise with gray hair wasn't enough to save Collateral, and Colin Ferrell in bed certainly didn't save Miami Vice.
Where's Talladega Nights when you need it?
Saturday, July 29, 2006
The Library Is For Stupid People
This week Rich and I were working at the Garrett Public Library. On the west side of the library is a side entrance door and three adjoining windows that are in pretty bad shape; we spent the week stripping the old varnish off of the wood, steel wool-ing them smooth, sanding them, applying a coat of Cover Stain, and then a coat of paint (we'll be putting on the final coat of paint on next week). Although the side door is closest to the parking lot, the front entrance is only about 25 paces away.
As we worked, we encountered some local citizens that had questions and/or comments that on more than one occasion forced me to turn to Rich and say I thought only smart people went to the library. I would now like to share some of these brilliant insights with you.
* I am on a stepladder, dropcloth splayed out below me, in front of the side door, applying a coat of stripper. Approximately 435 people asked Can I get in this door? Either that, or they would just walk up behind me and stand there silently, apparently waiting for me to finish my work for the day, so they could go in. On all occasions, I would politely let them know the front door is open. Then I would make a sarcastic comment to Rich about their pink stretch pants.
* Rich and I were scrubbing the paint stripper off with steel wool. Scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing. Toiling away like good little Mexicans, not bothering anyone, and we are approached by an old man who asked us, Are you doing that by hand? No, genius, we're using solar-powered heat-seeking monkey-guided lasers.
*Rich was sanding the windows and was approached by a man he guesstimated was around 50 years old. The man asked him, Are you sanding them? I told Rich the proper response was No, I'm checking my email.
* A fat guy sitting on a scooter stared at us and watched us work while he ate a bag of Krispy Kreme donuts. He didn't say anything stupid to annoy me, but the fact that there was a fat guy parked on a scooter eating a bag of Krispy Kreme donuts made me want to laugh out loud. It was a picture like you wouldn't believe. I was impressed with my ability to keep a straight face.
* A skinhead in a pickup truck slowed down, drove by us, and yelled Are you ready for the rinse cycle? This didn't annoy us as much as it just confused us. Apparently the thing to do in Garrett is to yell out random phrases about household appliances. Next time I see him I'm going to shout out Are you ready to cook it on high for 3 minutes, rotate it 1/4 turn, stir it, and cook it for an additional minute-and-a-half?
Even though the hillbilly geniuses were out in full effect, it was still a fun week and Rich and I had a good time laughing at our predicament. It was Rich's last week working with us. He'll be heading off to Arizona in the Phoenix/Tempe area to go to school for sound engineering. I was glad for the chance to get to work with him this summer. His little section of our family always lived far away from us and they moved back to Garrett while I was living in California, so I never got a chance to hang out with them a lot in the past. I am definitely grateful for the chance to get to work with my cousin and get to know him a little better. I made him promise to be the sound man on all of my films from now on, and he conceded.
Sucker.
As we worked, we encountered some local citizens that had questions and/or comments that on more than one occasion forced me to turn to Rich and say I thought only smart people went to the library. I would now like to share some of these brilliant insights with you.
* I am on a stepladder, dropcloth splayed out below me, in front of the side door, applying a coat of stripper. Approximately 435 people asked Can I get in this door? Either that, or they would just walk up behind me and stand there silently, apparently waiting for me to finish my work for the day, so they could go in. On all occasions, I would politely let them know the front door is open. Then I would make a sarcastic comment to Rich about their pink stretch pants.
* Rich and I were scrubbing the paint stripper off with steel wool. Scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing. Toiling away like good little Mexicans, not bothering anyone, and we are approached by an old man who asked us, Are you doing that by hand? No, genius, we're using solar-powered heat-seeking monkey-guided lasers.
*Rich was sanding the windows and was approached by a man he guesstimated was around 50 years old. The man asked him, Are you sanding them? I told Rich the proper response was No, I'm checking my email.
* A fat guy sitting on a scooter stared at us and watched us work while he ate a bag of Krispy Kreme donuts. He didn't say anything stupid to annoy me, but the fact that there was a fat guy parked on a scooter eating a bag of Krispy Kreme donuts made me want to laugh out loud. It was a picture like you wouldn't believe. I was impressed with my ability to keep a straight face.
* A skinhead in a pickup truck slowed down, drove by us, and yelled Are you ready for the rinse cycle? This didn't annoy us as much as it just confused us. Apparently the thing to do in Garrett is to yell out random phrases about household appliances. Next time I see him I'm going to shout out Are you ready to cook it on high for 3 minutes, rotate it 1/4 turn, stir it, and cook it for an additional minute-and-a-half?
Even though the hillbilly geniuses were out in full effect, it was still a fun week and Rich and I had a good time laughing at our predicament. It was Rich's last week working with us. He'll be heading off to Arizona in the Phoenix/Tempe area to go to school for sound engineering. I was glad for the chance to get to work with him this summer. His little section of our family always lived far away from us and they moved back to Garrett while I was living in California, so I never got a chance to hang out with them a lot in the past. I am definitely grateful for the chance to get to work with my cousin and get to know him a little better. I made him promise to be the sound man on all of my films from now on, and he conceded.
Sucker.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Pitcher Perfect
The older people get, the more they tend to forget things and generally go insane. The trouble is most of them don't realize it; they usually think everyone else around them is to blame. If we were aware of that exact moment when we start to lose it then maybe it would help make the transition to senility a little easier.
Yesterday, I had my moment.
But at least I know it.
Piper, my sister-in-law, was going to do some grocery shopping and Ray asked me if I needed her to pick up anything for me. He asked me to email him a list of things she should look for. Because it's been so warm lately, I've really been in the mood for some Mexican summer fruit drinks I'm fond of making. However, I had nothing to make the drinks in and so I decided to put that on the list.
But when I sat down at the computer, I couldn't think of the word pitcher. And the thing that lets me know that I am going crazy is the fact that I didn't sit and rack my brain trying to think of the word. It didn't even occur to me that there was such a word. I remember thinking to myself That's so odd that thing doesn't have a name. And I just accepted it as fact.
So, on my email list to my brother, there are limes, oranges, grapefruit, sugar...and a big plastic container that you make drinks in like lemonade or Kool-Aid. All because I forgot the word pitcher existed.
Amazingly, Ray and Piper knew what I was talking about, and she got me a large plastic pitcher. And because they knew just what I meant, I guess they're going crazy, too.
Yesterday, I had my moment.
But at least I know it.
Piper, my sister-in-law, was going to do some grocery shopping and Ray asked me if I needed her to pick up anything for me. He asked me to email him a list of things she should look for. Because it's been so warm lately, I've really been in the mood for some Mexican summer fruit drinks I'm fond of making. However, I had nothing to make the drinks in and so I decided to put that on the list.
But when I sat down at the computer, I couldn't think of the word pitcher. And the thing that lets me know that I am going crazy is the fact that I didn't sit and rack my brain trying to think of the word. It didn't even occur to me that there was such a word. I remember thinking to myself That's so odd that thing doesn't have a name. And I just accepted it as fact.
So, on my email list to my brother, there are limes, oranges, grapefruit, sugar...and a big plastic container that you make drinks in like lemonade or Kool-Aid. All because I forgot the word pitcher existed.
Amazingly, Ray and Piper knew what I was talking about, and she got me a large plastic pitcher. And because they knew just what I meant, I guess they're going crazy, too.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
"The Office" Promo
If you watch NBC's The Office or ever swing by my YouTube site, you may have seen the promos for a new contest. Basically, they are asking people to make a promo for The Office, exactly 20 seconds long, and submit it to them. They'll pick 3 grand prize winners to air on NBC after an episode of the sitcom. No cash and prizes, but a chance for some real bragging rights.
I spent some time yesterday with my brother Ray, his wife Piper, my cousin Rich, and Dad. They were my cast for the project, and yes, I resisted the urge to put myself in it so I could concentrate on directing & editing, and it only took us about 30 minutes to film, (I mean come on, the finished project is only 20 seconds long)!
I sat down tonight to edit and, after assembling all of the footage I wanted to use, it clocked in at about two-and-a-half minutes. Zoinks! This was a lot tougher than I imagined. Shaving off two minutes and ten seconds, while still trying to keep the humor and the gist was quite a task. But I think I did OK.
So we'll see. Right now 96 people have submitted a video. If you think about it, that's really not a lot, so maybe we have a shot. You aren't allowed to view the other videos, but you can browse and see a still photo taken from the other entries. All I'm saying is, pretty much all of the other entries take place in an office. I took the opposite approach and we'll see if being a little different pays off.
After they declare a winner, if it ain't me, I'll make it available for everyone to see (right now the videos have to be marked "Private" so only the contest honchos can see them). I'll keep you posted. Wish us luck!
I spent some time yesterday with my brother Ray, his wife Piper, my cousin Rich, and Dad. They were my cast for the project, and yes, I resisted the urge to put myself in it so I could concentrate on directing & editing, and it only took us about 30 minutes to film, (I mean come on, the finished project is only 20 seconds long)!
I sat down tonight to edit and, after assembling all of the footage I wanted to use, it clocked in at about two-and-a-half minutes. Zoinks! This was a lot tougher than I imagined. Shaving off two minutes and ten seconds, while still trying to keep the humor and the gist was quite a task. But I think I did OK.
So we'll see. Right now 96 people have submitted a video. If you think about it, that's really not a lot, so maybe we have a shot. You aren't allowed to view the other videos, but you can browse and see a still photo taken from the other entries. All I'm saying is, pretty much all of the other entries take place in an office. I took the opposite approach and we'll see if being a little different pays off.
After they declare a winner, if it ain't me, I'll make it available for everyone to see (right now the videos have to be marked "Private" so only the contest honchos can see them). I'll keep you posted. Wish us luck!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Why Factories Give Me A Headache
Ever try to wrap your mind around something that can't be completely understood? You know, like trying to fathom how huge the universe is. You sit there and think about it and pretty soon you have to stop or else you freak out and find you have converted to Scientology.
I have the same problem with factories.
Think about it. Everything in the world, everything, is made in a factory of some sort (you know, excluding rocks and shrubbery). Your cell phone, toilet paper tubes, clothes pins...they all come from factories. So that means obviously there are as many factories as there are different things. And then there are factories that make the machines that are in the factories.
Follow me on this. Let's take a factory that makes Playstation controllers. It's a fairly unique product with its own unique look and design. And because the factory needs specific equipment to make these unique products, it needs specific machinery and gadgets that other factories don't need. So then you need factories to make these specific factory machine parts. And then you need factories to make those parts and factories to make those factory parts, and so on down the line.
When does it freakin' end????????
That's why I hate factories. They make me think too hard. Can't we just go back to the days when cars were made of sticks and houses were made of twine?
I have the same problem with factories.
Think about it. Everything in the world, everything, is made in a factory of some sort (you know, excluding rocks and shrubbery). Your cell phone, toilet paper tubes, clothes pins...they all come from factories. So that means obviously there are as many factories as there are different things. And then there are factories that make the machines that are in the factories.
Follow me on this. Let's take a factory that makes Playstation controllers. It's a fairly unique product with its own unique look and design. And because the factory needs specific equipment to make these unique products, it needs specific machinery and gadgets that other factories don't need. So then you need factories to make these specific factory machine parts. And then you need factories to make those parts and factories to make those factory parts, and so on down the line.
When does it freakin' end????????
That's why I hate factories. They make me think too hard. Can't we just go back to the days when cars were made of sticks and houses were made of twine?
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
A Quote From Jeff
I've never been the kind of person who was into quotes. Not that I don't like them, I just never remembered them, and reading a book of quotes was always like an amalgum of random thoughts that was hard for me to follow. When I think of quotes, I honestly think of one of those flowery day calendars that middle-aged women have on their office desks or on their window sill.
That being said, yesterday I was talking with my pal Jeff Jackson and he sent me a quote he said reminded him of me. I wasn't sure what to expect but I was definitely interested as Jeff is someone I really admire and respect.
And the quote killed me. It's like my life mindset only in better words than I could ever put it. I'll never have this quote memorized or be able to tell someone the quote at a party because I know I won't remember it correctly, but I wish I would. It's really cool. So I pass it along to you here.
"A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labor and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing, and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both." -- Francois Auguste Rene Chateaubriand
That being said, yesterday I was talking with my pal Jeff Jackson and he sent me a quote he said reminded him of me. I wasn't sure what to expect but I was definitely interested as Jeff is someone I really admire and respect.
And the quote killed me. It's like my life mindset only in better words than I could ever put it. I'll never have this quote memorized or be able to tell someone the quote at a party because I know I won't remember it correctly, but I wish I would. It's really cool. So I pass it along to you here.
"A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labor and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing, and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both." -- Francois Auguste Rene Chateaubriand
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Wow, Auburn, That Was Fast
One of the things you have to do when you rent a new apartment is go through the hassle of having the utilities transferred over into your name. (You can't do it over the phone, you have to do it in person, and when they don't have weekend hours or hours past 5pm, it then becomes a hassle.) Because it rained today, we got off work a little early, and I figured I'd walk downtown and get it taken care of while I had the chance.
I got home and lo and behold, my power was turned off. Hm. Weird. Good thing I was heading down to the utility place, ya know? It's about 10 blocks away, give or take a few. It was slightly drizzling but I just came from New York so it was cake.
I got there, filled out the form, paid them my deposit, and she said I was good to go. I asked when the power would get turned back on and she said, "We show it's still on."
I politely informed her that it wasn't. She checked her paperwork and whaddya know, they goofed up. It seems the landlord asked them to turn the power off in the apartment downstairs and they flipped the wrong switch. The lady told me she wasn't sure if they could do it in time, since they were about to close (they close at four??). But then as I explained to her I live in the apartment upstairs and, you know, would like power, she told me she'd make a call.
By the time I got home, about 10 minutes later at most, the power was back on and all was well. I must admit, I was pretty impressed with how fast they made it out. I guess one of the nice things about being back in a small town, eh?
At any rate, I feel like I accomplished a lot in that hour, even though technically I really didn't. I just walked downtown and gave them a check. But I have power back. Whew. And to think I almost got stuck having to do the only thing one can do when there's no power: read. ;)
I got home and lo and behold, my power was turned off. Hm. Weird. Good thing I was heading down to the utility place, ya know? It's about 10 blocks away, give or take a few. It was slightly drizzling but I just came from New York so it was cake.
I got there, filled out the form, paid them my deposit, and she said I was good to go. I asked when the power would get turned back on and she said, "We show it's still on."
I politely informed her that it wasn't. She checked her paperwork and whaddya know, they goofed up. It seems the landlord asked them to turn the power off in the apartment downstairs and they flipped the wrong switch. The lady told me she wasn't sure if they could do it in time, since they were about to close (they close at four??). But then as I explained to her I live in the apartment upstairs and, you know, would like power, she told me she'd make a call.
By the time I got home, about 10 minutes later at most, the power was back on and all was well. I must admit, I was pretty impressed with how fast they made it out. I guess one of the nice things about being back in a small town, eh?
At any rate, I feel like I accomplished a lot in that hour, even though technically I really didn't. I just walked downtown and gave them a check. But I have power back. Whew. And to think I almost got stuck having to do the only thing one can do when there's no power: read. ;)
Sunday, July 09, 2006
The Devil Does Indeed Wear Ed-a
I've had some people ask me if I can be spotted in either of the two movies that are currently out that I worked on, The Break Up and The Devil Wears Prada, and the answer is yes and no.
I have been lazy and haven't gone out to the theaters yet to check them out and then realized I could download bootleg copies of them, review them, and find out. Now don't get yourself in a bunch, I didn't watch them, just skimmed them in 30-second intervals to look for the scenes I was in and then promptly deleted them.
I'm nowhere to be found in The Break Up. The roller blading scene and beach scene, in fact, didn't even make the final cut of the film, so all we can do is hope I make it in the deleted scenes on the DVD.
The Devil Wears Prada is a different story. You have to be fast on your toes to see me, but I can indeed be seen! About 2/3 of the way through the film, there is a short montage of models on the runway at different fashion shows. The camera moves from shots of Meryl Streep and Stanley Tucci to the models doin' their runway thing. Immediately after that brief scene we cut to a party, and everything in the background is in white. The camera quickly pans back to reveal more of the party and there, right there, you can see me in the bottom right-hand portion of the screen.
And then I'm gone. Outta there.
Am I disappointed you don't see more of me in either of the two films? Not at all. I got my check. Thanks. Cha-ching. See ya.
I have been lazy and haven't gone out to the theaters yet to check them out and then realized I could download bootleg copies of them, review them, and find out. Now don't get yourself in a bunch, I didn't watch them, just skimmed them in 30-second intervals to look for the scenes I was in and then promptly deleted them.
I'm nowhere to be found in The Break Up. The roller blading scene and beach scene, in fact, didn't even make the final cut of the film, so all we can do is hope I make it in the deleted scenes on the DVD.
The Devil Wears Prada is a different story. You have to be fast on your toes to see me, but I can indeed be seen! About 2/3 of the way through the film, there is a short montage of models on the runway at different fashion shows. The camera moves from shots of Meryl Streep and Stanley Tucci to the models doin' their runway thing. Immediately after that brief scene we cut to a party, and everything in the background is in white. The camera quickly pans back to reveal more of the party and there, right there, you can see me in the bottom right-hand portion of the screen.
And then I'm gone. Outta there.
Am I disappointed you don't see more of me in either of the two films? Not at all. I got my check. Thanks. Cha-ching. See ya.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Buzz! Smack! And when it's funny
Sometimes things happen that are, for lack of a better word, tragic. But for some reason the media will at times present them to me in a way that comes off as humorous.
Case in point:
I was reading the local newspaper yesterday and there was a story about some maniac running around in the New York City subway system. Seems he was carrying a cordless power saw with him, and for no particular reason, decided to slice up some guy's chest. Don't worry. The guy is OK. Shaken, of course, but the injury wasn't fatal.
They went on to interview the victim ("He didn't say anything! I think he was crazy!") and also obtain comments from witnesses ("He had a crazy look in his eyes!"). It went on to say the victim was OK and the attacker was in custody.
And then, the last sentence of the story is what killed me. After reading about this horrific incident, the writer of the story decided to wrap it all up with this classic line:
In an unrelated incident, earlier in the day the attacker punched a different man in the face.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Case in point:
I was reading the local newspaper yesterday and there was a story about some maniac running around in the New York City subway system. Seems he was carrying a cordless power saw with him, and for no particular reason, decided to slice up some guy's chest. Don't worry. The guy is OK. Shaken, of course, but the injury wasn't fatal.
They went on to interview the victim ("He didn't say anything! I think he was crazy!") and also obtain comments from witnesses ("He had a crazy look in his eyes!"). It went on to say the victim was OK and the attacker was in custody.
And then, the last sentence of the story is what killed me. After reading about this horrific incident, the writer of the story decided to wrap it all up with this classic line:
In an unrelated incident, earlier in the day the attacker punched a different man in the face.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Honk!!
Yesterday Dad, Rich, and I were returning from lunch in downtown Garrett and heading back to the worksite. We approached a corner and there were a couple of little girls there on the corner with signs, yelling at the passing cars. I assumed they were advertising a lemonade stand or yard sale or perhaps even a car wash.
We pulled up to the corner and couldn't believe what I read on their piece of posterboard, scrawled with crayon in little-kid writing:
And then they began to yell at us. "Honk if you like puppies or kittens!!! Honk if you like kittens!! Honk!!"
Well, I thought to myself, it sure doesn't get much more random than that.
Sure, it was a cute sight, but the cynic in me took over. Is this the best idea you guys have come up with to pass the time on a beautiful summer day? Getting cars to honk in support if puppies and/or kittens?
Have I mentioned I sometimes feel like I am living in Blaine, the city in Waiting for Guffman?
We pulled up to the corner and couldn't believe what I read on their piece of posterboard, scrawled with crayon in little-kid writing:
honk if you like puppies or kittens!!!!!
honk twice if you like kittens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then they began to yell at us. "Honk if you like puppies or kittens!!! Honk if you like kittens!! Honk!!"
Well, I thought to myself, it sure doesn't get much more random than that.
Sure, it was a cute sight, but the cynic in me took over. Is this the best idea you guys have come up with to pass the time on a beautiful summer day? Getting cars to honk in support if puppies and/or kittens?
Have I mentioned I sometimes feel like I am living in Blaine, the city in Waiting for Guffman?
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Old Friends
Today I called JT. Hadn't talked to him in a long time (too long). It was really good to talk with him again and catch up. He's a good man, strong work ethic, and I admire him a lot (plus, he's freakin' hilarious). You know those people that you know and miss and love but never realize how much until you talk to them again? Same thing happened again today. I miss that guy.
I've also been chatting with my dear friend Edlyn as well. She works at Gotee and I kind of kick myself for leaving Nashville and not taking advantage of having such a cool friend nearby while I was there. I constantly ask myself why we didn't hang out more. I'm glad we've been talking more and getting to know each other. She rocks my world!
I single them out not because they are my favorite friends whom I miss, but because I spoke to both of them today, and it was on my mind how much I love all of my out-of-town buddies.
Warm fuzzies for everyone. Take two, they're small.
I've also been chatting with my dear friend Edlyn as well. She works at Gotee and I kind of kick myself for leaving Nashville and not taking advantage of having such a cool friend nearby while I was there. I constantly ask myself why we didn't hang out more. I'm glad we've been talking more and getting to know each other. She rocks my world!
I single them out not because they are my favorite friends whom I miss, but because I spoke to both of them today, and it was on my mind how much I love all of my out-of-town buddies.
Warm fuzzies for everyone. Take two, they're small.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Terocus, Terocus, Terocus
Wow, what a weekend it's been. I feel like I've spent the entire time either filming or editing, and that's not stretching the truth much.
Ever since I decided to make my way back to Indiana and revive a corny home movie my brother and I filmed about 15 years ago, I've been in full movie-making mode and loving every bit of it.
Not only has it been a blast hamming it up with Ray, Piper, and Valencia (yes, her name is indeed Valencia Placencia!), I've also been in film editing boot camp. In the month since I've been home, we've filmed four episodes of Terocus (final total running time about 27 minutes) and I'm learning new tricks and shortcuts all the time.
We actually filmed Episodes 3 and 4 this weekend and last night about 3:30am I finished the editing. We're getting ready for the big premiere at the 4th of July festivities today, so swing on by if you get the chance!
Yay for fun!
Ever since I decided to make my way back to Indiana and revive a corny home movie my brother and I filmed about 15 years ago, I've been in full movie-making mode and loving every bit of it.
Not only has it been a blast hamming it up with Ray, Piper, and Valencia (yes, her name is indeed Valencia Placencia!), I've also been in film editing boot camp. In the month since I've been home, we've filmed four episodes of Terocus (final total running time about 27 minutes) and I'm learning new tricks and shortcuts all the time.
We actually filmed Episodes 3 and 4 this weekend and last night about 3:30am I finished the editing. We're getting ready for the big premiere at the 4th of July festivities today, so swing on by if you get the chance!
Yay for fun!
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